May 252014
 

first sex toy buying guideOver at Reddit I’ve been getting a lot of questions along the lines of “I/we want to try out sex toys, but have no idea where to start”. It can be hard sometimes to recommend things for someone’s first sex toy, since not even they really know what they want. And of course, they often are young or just reluctant to spend much money on the whole endeavor, since they have no clue how it’ll work out. Too often, people recommend cheap and *unsafe* sex toys, or cheap and half-ass quality sex toys, for a sex toy newbie. I’ve been there, and that’s mostly what filled my meager toy bag my first two years. It led me to wasting a decent chunk of money, but it also ultimately led to me creating this blog. I try to avoid recommending shoddy toys to the first-timers. So difficult, so very very difficult. They’re cheap for a reason! I do have a complete guide to under-$35 sex toys right here, and there’s now a bonus section for sex toys under $50, but for this topic we’re going to up the budget to $80 because it’s where the better sex toys are. Not that you need to start off pricey but I don’t recommend always going super cheap, especially with vibrators.

Top Three Tips Before You Start

  1. Understand safe sex toy materials. You want to avoid anything porous. Stick with silicone from trusted brands, hard (ABS) plastic, glass, metal and wood.
  2. Discuss it together, first. Go get your partner and look at the items I’m recommending. What you think your partner would like and what they actually would like can be two very different things. Make sure you can answer these seven things before you buy a surprise gift for a partner.
  3. If you’re buying a sex toy for someone with a clitoris who has never orgasmed from penetrative sex, then don’t get an internal vibe. Get an external vibe and a stronger one at that but don’t feel like you have to jump right to the Magic Wand.

Where to shop

Please, don’t go to Amazon. The first place I recommend you shop at if you’re in the US is Shevibe. They have great prices and are a trustworthy company. You’ll get great customer service, too. They’ve been around for awhile and I adore them. For silicone dildos and butt toys, plus some harnesses and paddles, you can also go directly to the manufacturer I adore most – Tantus. They often have great sales. If you’re in Canada Come As You Are is good.  A few smaller, feminist sex shops I support are Smitten Kitten and Early to Bed.  Now, you may notice a lack of UK and Canadian shops. I’ve stopped supporting Lovehoney and Lovedreamer, two I had previously listed here. Lovedreamer would hold onto my affiliate earnings for ages and be unreachable. This doesn’t give me enough trust in them treating you, the customer, properly. I’m working on finding new shops in other countries that I can support fully and trust. *Apparently this paragraph is not sufficient for some people. If you want the details on why I recommend these shops, read my long-winded comment below. Also read this post.

Deciding on sex toy size

Base the size of your first sex toy, if it’s meant for insertion, on what has already been inserted into said orifice. Nothing? A finger? Two fingers? A cock? Not all people seeking their first sex toy need something tiny and/or wimpy on vibrations. If you’ve never had anything inserted, ever, you’re going to have to purchase two sizes – the warm-up and then the step-up. I realize it sounds like a waste of money, but you can’t just jump head first into these things. Starting with a warm-up can be key to the whole experience going well.  I have a complete guide to choosing your first dildo that you should check out. Also, consider the material. A very firm silicone, or other hard material, is going to feel bigger than the same size bio cock. There are a lot of under-$50 dildos listed here, too.

Introducing the clitoris to a vibrator

The first sex toy you use on a clitoris is very dependent on the sensitivity level of that clitoris. Again, not everyone will need a subtle vibrator, but not everyone needs a Hitachi Magic Wand, either. If the clitoris owner in question has difficulty reaching orgasm from fingers and tongues, then you’re looking for something powerful and rumbly. If you think that pinpoint but really strong stimulation is your best bet, you can’t go wrong with the We-Vibe Tango. It’s the most powerful bullet vibe on the market and very rumbly. Another strong option that isn’t quite the level of the Tango (but very very close) is the Jopen Lust L2.5; tiny but powerful it has deep, penetrating rumbling vibrations (it also comes in pink). There’s also a $9.99 option to consider if you are really concerned about price for now and that’s the Blush Novelties Gaia Eco; the vibrations are actually fairly strong and rumbly so I wouldn’t recommend it for more sensitive clits. Yes, it’s a long slimline vibrator but that doesn’t mean it’s prescribed only for internal use.

For those who can orgasm anywhere from somewhat easily to rarely, to unsure about owning a vibrator I have one that I recommend across the board: Doc Johnson’s Black Magic bullet. It’s affordable, it has vibrations that are more rumbly than buzzy, and with 4 levels it can work for a large variety of people. It’s versatile – can be used solo, together, and on any body part that might like some vibrations (external only, though please – I don’t feel that most corded bullets are meant for vaginal insertion and I wouldn’t trust them for anal insertion). I feel that the vibration range of the Black Magic allows for slightly less intense vibrations on the lower end of the scale when compared to the Gaia Eco mentioned above. A cute and tiny option is the OVO T2. It doesn’t pack the punch of the Black Magic Bullet, but it’s small and unobtrusive while still having pretty decent vibrations. The same can be said for the OVO D2. It’s similar in size to the Lelo Mia 2, has pretty decent vibrations and is quiet. The Lelo Mia 2 is more powerful than the OVO D2 and less powerful than the Jopen Lust L2.5 and much less powerful than the We-Vibe Tango.

If you’ve heard a lot about these new pressure-wave suction-but-not-suction sex toys like the Womanizer and Satisfyer, check out my mega-guide. The only affordable one that I can recommend for now is the Satisfyer Pro 2, at $69, but the Womanizer brand is far superior to date (updated 2017). These work best if you know you like pinpoint stimulation of the clitoris, but expect different results than pinpoint vibrators.

G-spot for beginners

A number of the dildos in the choosing your first dildo guide are great for g-spot play, but some people are understandably curious about vibration for their first sex toy. There’s a number of better (over $50) options like the L’amourose Prism V or the Je Joue Uma, but to see if you even like vibrations on your g-spot, start out with something more affordable like the Aria Hue G, or Picobong’s Zizo or Moka. The ultra-affordable Aria Hue G won’t knock your socks off but it’s no slouch. The new OVO E3, a very affordable rechargeable, has a large flat head like the Lelo Mona with pretty good, moderately-rumbly vibrations.  The oddly-shaped very-versatile Blush Nude Impressions 01 is powerful, rumbly and awesome with a suction cup, silky silicone, and a rechargeable battery. It’s even waterproof.

A Vibrator to use during sex?

Often I hear from couples who want a vibrator that can maybe be used during PIV sex to help achieve clitoral orgasm. I find myself recommending the Fun Factory Layaspot for it’s small size and curve. I’d prefer to recommend the We-Vibe Touch for it’s small size and nice silicone, but that wouldn’t fit in the $80 price limit unless you nab a seriously good sale; however the Tango does fit in the price rage, barely. Another sort-of decent toy is the Tula 2.0. It’s cheap, it runs on AAA batteries, and it’s got decent vibrations. They’re not rumbly but they’re not seriously surface-buzzy either. With a little effort, it’s even enough to get me off. It can be loud, though. But the “tilted egg on a stick” style is pretty versatile. It can be used for the g-spot, but also it’s great to use during PIV sex because the long handle keeps your hands out of the way of bumping pelvises (pelvi?). Many copies of this style exist, but most have poor vibrations that are surface-buzzy.

The We-Vibe Sync is designed to be used during sex, but the fit can be finicky (even with the improved customizable fit) and the vibrations don’t blow my mind but are vastly improved over earlier We-Vibe models. I usually prefer to recommend that you find new ways to work your sex and foreplay around a nice vibrator, rather than expecting your vibrator to blend in seamless with your sex. Other vibrators made specifically for this like the Dame Eva or Dame Fin fail on many other levels because they’re trying too hard to achieve one purpose. I don’t think that a person’s very first sex toy should be used in a high-pressure situation like PIV sex (often the vibrator is expected to help get you both to orgasms at the same time), though.

I don’t want something that looks like a sex toy

This is a common theme; whether the idea of your first sex toy fills you with anxiety or you live with other people and need something discrete, avoiding the garish designs or penis-replicas can be a good avenue. Wand massagers like the Mystic Wand are quiet and discreet looking.  You’ve seen these recommended before: For pinpoint stimulation the We-Vibe Tango and Lelo Mia 2 both fit the “tiny & quiet” bill. Often you can find a glass sex toy that looks more like art than a dildo, however please read up on glass before you go buy something super cheap.

Butts (and prostates!) need love, too

Let’s not ignore the other holes for your first sex toy! If you’re looking for plugs and dildos to prepare a butt for eventual butt sex, you should start out small and buy a few in graduating sizes, as I recommend in the beginner’s guide to anal sex toys. If you decide you like the sensation, consider the Tantus Neo, Lux LX1 or Fun Factory Booty for something under $50 or spend a little more to try the Njoy Pure Plug which is seriously highly rated. These are all plugs that are made to stay in one spot and provide the sensation of something being in there, or fullness if you get the bigger sizes.

If you’re looking for something to stimulate the prostate, start out with the Tantus Pro Touch from their Grab Bag for something affordable – it has the tip and curve that tends to target the prostate. Another option that has a little more oomph in the vibrations department is the Renegade Massager. You can also try out the non-vibrating Doc Johnson Mood Naughty 2 to see if you like the blobby-shaped prostate-targeting style of the Aneros line. If you decide you like the sensation but need more vibration, consider the Lust L12 for something a little over $50 or L’amourose Rosa Rouge for a big splurge. 

Sensations for butt toys vary – some people like the feeling of thrusting versus stationary plugs. That’s when you would try out a dildo.  The first few suggestions in the list of dildos for beginners guide are all slender and perfect for introductory anal play.

Going beyond a hand job

The world of sex toys for the penis is just so damn difficult to navigate for someone like me – I’m loathe to recommend very porous or toxic toys, yet 95% of the masturbator sleeves out there are porous. Very few are silicone – the ones that are, are very expensive or not awesome. I’m not against Fleshlight and Tenga brands, though, despite them being porous because I at least know that they’re not toxic. I’ve not heard reports about people getting skin irritations. You do have to be super vigilant with cleaning them. A Tenga product that I really love, and a material that more companies should embrace, is their line of 3D sleeves. It’s a porous TPR material infused with silver for its anti-microbial properties which would be a great place to start for your first sex toy that isn’t a one-time-use onacup. They’re extremely soft with a texture; they’re open-ended too so it won’t create vacuum suction (which also often is very noisy). Since there is no hard plastic shell around it, you can use your hand to increase pressure; you can also use your other hand to grip the open end shut to create some suction.

I read that “50 Shades” book…..

So you read one of those damn 50 Shades books and want to “spice things up”. When people say this, they can mean anything from “let’s use a sex toy” to “I have a secret kink I’ve held back on for years”.  I’m not to be considered an expert on anything serious for BDSM/kink, but I can get you started.  Pretty much the whole entire “position aids” section at Shevibe will be enough to “spice-ify” the most vanilla of sex lives, or at least get you on your way to being able to communicate deeper kinks and desires. For a little restraint and blindfold experimenting, the Liberator Bed Buckler kit is nice, sturdy and has the best blindfold I’ve ever tried on. You can also consider things like sex slings and other under the bed style restraint systems – this one fits any bed, while this more basic one will only work up to a Queen size bed.

Want to experiment with a little pain? Start with paddles and floggers, and start affordable in case you don’t like it. Avoid silicone paddles and pain implements – they hurt and it would be too much for a newbie to start with.

But what about!

You’ll see I don’t mention vibrating cock rings or rabbit vibes here. That’s because I think these are the equivalent to when a real estate agent tries to call a house “cozy” when it’s really 700 square feet, or a “fixer upper” when it barely has a floor and a roof. I don’t think that most cock rings are worth it or work well for couples, and rabbit vibes are SO hit-or-miss. In my years of  reviewing I’ve found ONE that fits me perfectly and it’s really expensive.  I didn’t get into things like harnesses because I don’t think I’ve tried enough, plus my size limits my ability to really judge the less expensive ones (my favorite of all time is the Aslan Minx or Jaguar, not something most newbies want to drop the money on). This starter kit is going to be decent for most people though.  I don’t get into gender expression items because that’s totally outside my area of expertise. There are a few harnesses too on my budget-minded list.

 Final tips

Some quick tips to keep in mind include gems like: don’t forget the lube; don’t cross-contaminate anal and vaginal toys; make sure you clean all of your sex toys properly; and finally – go slow. Try different positions. Be patient. Sex toys aren’t meant to replace a person, and they can’t. Sex toys are about enhancing the pleasure. Vibrators aren’t dangerous or addictive, nor will a large dildo “stretch out” a vagina. Have fun and check your ego.

While this guide certainly won’t cover ever aspect, it should hopefully get you started from point A. If there’s anything I haven’t covered, please ask below!

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May 222014
 

RabbitVibratorsBurlesque Toy Shop asked me to give a few $50 and under “affordable rabbit vibrators” a run-through to see if they stand up in material quality, build quality and so on.  Ever since that Sex and the City episode, the Rabbit Vibrator is hailed as the holy grail. Yet it’s probably the most finicky sex toy on the market. I could buy 10 different rabbit vibrators and probably only have 1 fit my anatomy properly.

Burlesque Toy Shop and I looked through the options and chose what we thought might be contenders. The catch? Nothing short of true silicone would do. They sent me the Blush Novelties Ohm Lotus Flutter, the CalExotics Posh Double Dancer and the CalExotics Entice Belle to put through their paces (Picobong Kaya and Toxic Piece of Crap shown for reference, provided by me). All three seem to have passed the flame test; all three run on batteries and all three are admittedly a LOT smaller in size than I expected. After all, the average “bells and whistles” toxic/porous rabbit vibe is twice the size!

CalExotics Posh Double Dancer

Let’s get this one out of the way first. It’s awful. It’s so, so awful. There’s this weird plastic base that extends past the battery cap, and on mine the material is all chewed up and rough. Granted, that isn’t the part that will be inside you, but it makes getting this thing clean and sanitary an impossibility. The weirdness on the silicone next to the seams is also concerning to me. You see how it’s just….well, different? It’s like they glued the halves together, put tape over the seam line while the glue was trying, and the tape left something behind. It doesn’t feel different but I’m still slightly concerned.

PoshDoubleDancer PoshDoubleDancer2 PoshDoubleDancer3

 It runs on only 1 AA battery, but I’ve seen vibrators running on the same pack a much better punch. The Posh Double Dancer might just win the award for the most wimpy vibrator I’ve ever tried. The motor is in the middle of the shaft, so your g-spot and clitoris receive the least amount of vibrations possible. There’s no motor for the clitoral attachment, and it’s essentially two wibbly antennae. You will get zero pressure, and pretty much feel nothing externally. It has one simple button that has a very loud audible click, and 3 paltry settings. I cut open the vibe once I was done testing it, to see what was what. The little plastic-housed bullet in there actually does have decently powerful (albeit buzzy) vibrations; I’ve certainly had other plastic vibes that weren’t as powerful. But combine the thick silicone skin, the ill-placed single motor, the empty space in the tip….and there’s no way the vibrations are going to amount to much in use. It’s a dumb design.

CalExotics Entice Belle

EnticeBellaThis one is the tiniest of the three.  Possibly good for those with a shallow g-spot who don’t like girth and don’t need a lot of internal vibration.  The Entice Belle runs on 2 AAA and also has one single button for use, and of course the “bunny” attachment. There actually is a decent amount of surface-buzzy vibrations coming from the bunny ears but they feel entirely too pinpoint for my tastes. The shaft is …. well, it’s boring. It’s really boring. The Entice Belle is priced a little higher than the Posh Double Dancer; what you get for that extra boost is construction that doesn’t look like a drunk poodle assembled it, and an extra motor with more power. In the end, it doesn’t really matter to me because the vibrations are incredibly surface-buzzy. You would be able to apply pressure to the clitoris with this one, unlike the Posh Double Dancer, but the rapidly vibrating little ears could still be annoying. The single button on the end will cycle through 3 power levels and 4 pulsating settings, and won’t turn off until you press and hold the button for 3 seconds. The noise level is quite tolerable for such a cheap vibrator.

Blush Novelties Ohm Lotus Flutter

BlushOhmLotusI realize the “flutter” bit is supposed to resemble a butterfly but at first glance I can’t help from humming “Oh Canada!”. Even my husband said “Why is there a maple leaf on that vibrator?”. For as pinpoint as the Entice Belle bunny ears are, the clitoral stimulation from the Ohm Lotus Flutter is broad. And weak. Ohm Lotus Flutter is nearly as weak as the Posh Double Dancer. I can’t even figure out where the motor is, or if there’s more than one. At certain random ways of holding the vibrator the motor gets “off kilter” and rattles horribly loud. It’s a shame, because the g-spot stimulation from the shape and size is the best on this one out of the three. The packaging of the Ohm Lotus Flutter is also the best of the three and it even comes with a decent storage bag. But none of this matters when the vibrations are so damn weak. The copy from the box reads: “The soft fluttering stimulator goes from gentle to intense with the touch of a button”. Blush Novelties, I don’t think you know what that word means. Then again, you should never trust any sex toy manufacturer when they use the word “intense”.

Do We Have a Winner?

Burlesque Toys wanted me to see if any of these should be stocked by them, which is why I am not linking to the toys on their site – they’re not there yet. I’m honestly tempted to say that none of these should be considered, but at least the Entice Belle had discernible vibrations — The other two were barely a gentle breeze. I personally dislike the thin shaft and the pointy bunny ears on the Entice Belle, but I know some people love to have those bunny ears split and surround their clitoris. If the motors are the same on the entire CalExotics Entice line, I’d consider recommending the Marilyn or Viviene but without personally handling them I really can’t take a guess.  Even though the Picobong Kaya doesn’t fit the “under $50” budget and feels overpriced for what it is, the vibrations are at least fairly decent.

A line of vibrators that we didn’t look into is OVO. They appear to retail for under $50 and I heard from one person that the vibrations were decent. I might end up investigating this line, despite hearing lackluster reviews about the cock rings. Regardless, from what I’ve seen there are affordable rabbit vibrators, but they are terribly simplistic – if you expect rotating shafts and swirling rows of pearls with dual motors and dual motor control? You’re out of luck. Then again, nearly all of those types of rabbit vibes are porous or toxic.

What do you think? Have you ever had an affordable, safe, rabbit-style vibrator?

 

Burlesque Toy Shop provided me with the CalExotics Posh Double Dancer, the CalExotics Entice Belle and the Blush Novelties Ohm Lotus Flutter in exchange for my honest review.

May 142014
 

Today I’m giving you some advice that I don’t tend to take for myself, at least not consistently. And I should. You see, I’m an anonymous blogger. I don’t show my face on the blog, I don’t go by real name. A bunch of other bloggers, and industry people, have met me and/or know my legal name but they still call me Lilly. It would be downright weird if any of them called me by my real name. *shrugs* I just AM Lilly.

However….the connection between my legal name (and address) and Lilly / Dangerous Lilly is something that I expect these people to keep to themselves. My privacy on this matter is tantamount to my being able to do this. I have reasons, valid reasons, for keeping the two things completely separate. So do many people, who aren’t bloggers. Sex workers, porn performers, etc. I guess I mostly expected the sex toy companies to get this, but a lot of them don’t. I guess I can’t really fault them, because this is something I should be proactive with.

[pullquote]Always inform new review partners of your anonymity and level of discretion needed for packages they send you. Don’t assume they know![/pullquote]We all should, for those who need some level of anonymity.

I don’t really know what the UPS driver, the bank teller or the postal service person would DO with the knowledge, but whether I like it or not, they all have seen that connection I try to keep buried.

So before you work with a new company, be it a retailer OR a manufacturer, be up front with them. Talk to them about the level of anonymity you need AND the level of package discretion you need. If you need that package to be discreet because of your neighbors, or who you live with, you have the right to discuss this and ask for it. Today I received a review item from BMS Factory, that had BMS branded packing tape all over the outside, and was sent in a Pipedream box. Pipedream.com allll over this box. It also had “Lilly” on the outside of the box. It’s more tolerable than “Dangerous Lilly”, but that’s because of my situation. I can assure you that if I were younger and living with family and someone saw a box with something other than my legal name, I surely would get questioned. I totally do not hold BMS to blame for this. As their rep said, they’re more accustomed to sending out samples to a magazine, and not a person. The onus is truly on me to advocate for my privacy in this arena, and I need to do it more. The companies don’t mind following your request, I find.

PackageI’ve had numerous other instances of this happening, too, so I don’t want it to seem like I’m calling out BMS. It was just something that happened today and it’s happened a bunch of times recently, and it prompted me to write this post.

tl:dr – Before you accept a review product from a new manufacturer/retailer, inform them of your anonymity and discretion level that needs to be met, lest you find a package on your doorstep that clearly gives away what is inside and what your blog name is.
 Posted by at 4:00 pm
May 112014
 
IslandI’ve been doing a lot more lately than I envisioned I would be, rounding in on my 6 year anniversary of starting this blog. I think I’ve known for a couple of years that I like doing what I do, and would like to do it more and more professionally, but I’ve really been reminded of that lately. While modding over at Reddit, I get at least one chance a day to mold a clueless sex-toy-seeker into a sex-toy-owner. I think I’m pretty good at it. I tend to ask a lot of questions, really try to get an understanding of their body, their preferences, their dislikes and turn that into a recommendation that is spot-on. Last week I even created this whole huge questionnaire created in Google Docs, which starts off asking what type of sex toy they’re seeking, and then (similar to a choose-your-own-adventure book) their answer dictates what questions they will be asked next. I worked long and hard on it, so I’m not really sure about sharing it publicly just yet. In the age of “well if you published it online then you must be okay with me appropriating it and calling it mine” I am wary. Maybe needlessly wary, but nonetheless I only give out the link to the people who actually need help. After all, if you’re not in the market for a sex toy then there’s no point in you going through the quiz, right? That would be boring!

Earlier today my husband and I were talking and as it sometimes goes, we talked about money. Because we were talking about places we want to visit this summer. He knows that I desperately want to travel to Europe someday. But we’ll never get there with our money situation the way it is now. We’ll never have that kind of excess money. I need to return to work. When we moved 3 years ago for a new job for him, the salary was enough that I didn’t *need* to get a job right away. We need every bit of money I make from advertising and affiliate commissions, though. I would have had to get a part-time job without it. But the fact is, I can’t make enough money just from this blog to save up for big trips. Or costly emergencies. Or a big renovation on the home we’ll be looking to buy next year.

Yet it depresses the fuck out of me to imagine going back to the only job I’m qualified for – the administrative assistant field. Sure I was good at the first full-time admin job I had, working for a small company, but it was stressful and didn’t pay well. The next job was boring and soul-sucking. Neither were what I wanted to do with my life. But I’ve never felt that I had any marketable skills.

But this? What you’re looking at right now?

This I can do. This makes me happy. I think I do a pretty good job at it. But I don’t live in an area, or even a state, where there are NICE sex toy shops. We only have ones that I’d refuse to work for, because 95% of their sex toy stock is the shit I tell people to avoid. When I think back to the people I used to work with at those admin jobs, I cringe. They were small-minded closed-minded people. They are nothing like the people I have met in my 6 years doing this.

Even if I went back to life as it was for the first 3 years of my blog……working full time, grabbing blog and social media time during slow periods at work and in the evening, it still would suck. Spending 40 hours a week in a job that depresses me is my idea of hell. I’d rather avoid it unless it is 100% necessary. Would I happily be “on call” for sex toy retail sites when someone needs help choosing? You bet. Would I enjoy working from home doing something for a sex toy retail site I like? Fuck yes. But I don’t know how to make it happen. I don’t have a degree. I don’t know how to break into it. I want to keep reviewing and being a small-time sex toy concierge for Redditors and my readers, I want to keep on educating people against toxic toys. I need to. It feels like it’s the ONLY thing I’m good at, the only thing that makes me happy.

But my happy is on a small island, offshore just enough so that I can see it but not enough so that I can swim to it and I can’t find a boat.

 Posted by at 3:32 pm
May 102014
 

Jopen Ego e5I get a lot of sex toys to review, so recently I nudged my husband to find something he’d like. It’s been a long time since he’s had something he loved for a prostate massager, so after some poking around at Shevibe he picked out the Jopen Ego e5. The Jopen Ego line is specifically aimed at penis and prostate toys; most of the line, in fact, is comprised of cock rings. They have four cock rings, all of them looking like some giant plastic kiddie costume jewelry ring you’d get in a toy vending machine for a quarter. Then there’s the Ego e4, which looks like your average prostate massager – aiming to hit the prostate two-fold, from inside and out. But the Ego e5 intrigued him. It looks very much like your average g-spot vibrator. In fact, I can see strong resemblances to the Envy Five, except that the Envy Five doesn’t have an anal-safety base.

Usually it’s true that what’s good for the g-spot is good for the prostate – something curved or angled, or just big and fat. And while one aspect of the Jopen Ego e5 is good – the motor is located at the end – it has a lot of small issues that don’t add up to a win for him.

The Good

The vibrations are quite nice – much more rumbly than buzzy, and pretty powerful in fact. I wouldn’t call it the most powerful motor I’ve felt, but it’s certainly no weakling. The silicone is nice – no texture, not a lot of drag, but not super silky, either. It doesn’t attract lint and fur easily. And the overall shape is great to be used externally – much enjoyment was had when I pressed the length of it against him during a blowjob. We positioned the vibrating tip to press against the anus, and he received pressure and vibrations against the perineum, balls and base of his cock.  And as I mentioned above, it’s also good that the motor is located in the tip.

Jopen Ego e5The Bad

While the vibrations are rumbly and powerful, apparently straight vibrations are not something his prostate enjoys. It’s overkill, it’s boring, it’s just nothing special. If the Ego e5 had a pulsating function, it would have greatly improved his opinion. And despite the shape of the Ego e5 appearing to be prostate-friendly, he simply couldn’t get it to really hit his prostate. Not to mention the fact that the best position for him during use made the middle “bloop” rest at the sphincter – very uncomfortable indeed. He also kept hitting the button during use and turning it off. The Jopen Ego e5 uses a single button – you click it to turn it on or off, but must press and hold to ramp up in vibrations. Once you’re at the maximum level of vibrations, there’s no way to back down in intensity without turning the vibrator off completely.  There’s also a decent amount of flex in the first “joint”, which he isn’t sure is a good thing. He personally likes a lot of pressure on his prostate, though. Ironically, he’s had better luck with a straight, hard plastic vibe than the Ego e5.

What about the G-Spot?

Honestly I think this vibrator would be better suited for g-spot users. I tried it out before handing it off to him, and while it wasn’t quite powerful enough for my tastes, it should be powerful enough for most. And, this would give us g-spot people another damn color choice besides the pinky-purple that Jopen seems to think we want. The gender binary and stereotypes are strong with this company. The entire Ego line only comes in royal blue, while most other Jopen lines only come in “femme” colors.

Should you get it? Jopen Ego e5

At the end of the day, unless you think this would make a great g-spot vibe, we can’t recommend the Jopen Ego e5 for prostate play. After failing with this style we began to think that the e4 would suit him better, but then we read Incendiaire’s review and found out this baffling bit: on the e4 the motor is located in the external arm. What the fuck? Why? Regardless, the Ego prostate massagers just don’t seem to be worth the price tag. I honestly don’t see him ever using it again for its intended purpose, but we may pull it out for blowjob assistance now and then. Of course, I have an aresenal of other vibes that work just fine for that application.

 

Thanks to Shevibe for hooking us up! I hope to find him something else wonderful for prostate massage in the near future. For now, the list of possibilities includes: the Nexus Gyro Xtreme, the Fun Factory Duke, or the Lux LX3 Plus. Anybody have any experience with those?

 

May 052014
 

WandsThe Bodywand Original is the latest in a long line of high-powered “wand massager” style vibrators meant to knock your socks off and modeled to rival or beat the power of the famed and fabled Magic Wand. Every so often I get in a reviewing jag of gathering up the recent additions to the wand vibrator category to see if there are any worthy innovations–or lately, if there’s anything out there to rival the Lelo Smart Wand Large. As a result, I’ve got enough wand vibes to host a successful orgy.

There are numerous styles in the Bodywand lineup, but the Bodywand Original is the plug-in electric version. Unlike the old Magic Wand, Bodywand uses the dial to ramp up the power. A lot of other companies use this design as well. The dial aspect does get a bit confusing in use depending on how you hold it. If you’re holding it for someone else, and the head is pointing away from you, then thumbing the wheel “up” or away from you will turn the motor down in intensity whereas thumbing the wheel “down” or towards you turns it up. But if you’re using it solo and the head is facing you, then it works as you would want it to.

WandHoldingSelf WandHoldingOther Wands3

Funny thing happened: as I grabbed my other electric wand massagers to do a comparison, I noticed something very startling; the Bodywand Original is a dead ringer for the Fairy Wand Original. The ONLY differences seem to be the way the Bodywand behaves on the lowest setting, the color, and the fact that Bodywand is “designed in Japan” but made in China, while the Fairy Wand claims to be made in Japan. The plastic body design and the head is utterly identical between the two. While Bodywand boasts a vague “soft touch” material for the head, I’ve found that it’s very similar to the material of the Fairy Wand head, only ever-so-slightly less firm. It’s got a tiny bit of give at the edge, but it’s nothing you’re going to notice in use versus the Magic Wand. Bodywand also does this weird gyrating thing at the lowest level where the entire thing visibly shakes. For some reason on the lowest setting it’s susceptible to vibration dampening when pressure is applied.

Is it powerful? Yes. Do I like it?

Nope. No thanks. Take it away, please. The vibrations are that mixture of surface-buzzy and ultra-powerful that leads to a numb vulva for a little while after use, and an itchy vulva during use. I had the extreme desire to stop masturbating with these wands and just relieve the itching with some very monkey-like scratching. Sure I was able to orgasm but it was a painful orgasm ripped from me like birthing a small baby. I forced myself to climax as quickly as possible just so that I could remove the damn vibrator from my vulva faster. 

What I’ve really been looking for is a more reliable and affordable version of the Lelo Smart Wand Large. I still love the vibrations it puts out, more than any wand ever and more than most all [tooltip tip=”But Lilly, you’re saying, these Wands aren’t internal vibes you silly! When you pair it with a cap that has a dildo-like protrusion it turns into one. I currently have the Vixen caps, Gee Whiz and Gee Whizzard”]internal vibrators[/tooltip], but after 1.5 years of not-frequent use, it started having problems. Others had problems right away. If Lelo would offer up a 2 year full warranty and lower the price, I’d still recommend the Smart Wand Large but until that happens I’ll hunt for something comparable. I really feel that the Bodywand Original’s vibrations are nearly identical to the Magic Wand. Powerful, but just not the right kind of power for everyone. Magic Wand, Bodywand and Fairy Wand all feel the same on high — they’re like a rhino on cocaine, where as the Smart Wand Large is like Barry White.  The power of the Mystic Wand can’t quite compare to these beasts, but it’s just a much more pleasant type of vibration, and so I’m able to orgasm easier with the Mystic Wands.  I can’t really compare the vibrations of the Bodywand to the Wahl 2-speed. The Wahl is just so unlike any of the wands, since the two speeds give such a different experience – one is like a hummingbird, the other like a woodpecker.

The head of the Bodywand Original is compatible with attachments meant for the (Hitachi) Magic Wand. It’s not silicone, so it’s probably somewhat porous, but thus far the material is much more resistant to discoloration and staining than my Magic Wand. However, these damn ridges in the head are super hard to clean sometimes – and at the wrong angle during use can actually sort of hurt. The company makes a g-spot and a “rabbit” attachment that will fit only this model of Bodywand; I tried the Vixen Gee Whiz on it and it works ok…not like the Smart Wand Large, but it’s ok. Although to be fair, I’ve had stand-alone insertable vibes that are more powerful.

Bodywand Original - Showing the difference in heads between Bodywand, Magic Wand and Fairy Wand. Magic Wand head is highly textured, it almost looks like a subtle brain pattern and as a result it looks very dirty compared to the others.

I’d still personally put the Smart Wand Large at the top of the list, followed by the Wahl if my clit can tolerate it, followed very closely by the Mystic Wand with a big gap on the scale before we get to the Bodywand / Magic Wand.

 

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Bodywand Original to review!

This is the first in a long line of wand massager vibe reviews coming up this month, all culminating in an epic Wand Off post. Other Wands I plan to review soon are the Bodywand Rechargeable, Doxy Massager, Shibari Halo Wand, and hopefully a PalmPower.