Apr 242014
 

DevinePlaychestA little over four years ago I reviewed the Devine Playchest. Back then, they made it very clear everywhere you looked that this was a “limited edition” item (the item, NOT the color) and if you wanted one you should hurry up and get one.  At the EF forums, reviewers questioned just HOW “Limited Edition” this was, how many were made, and if the current “out of stock” status meant it was already gone for good. Like any slippery politician worth their salt, Devine reps were vaguebooking like champs.

*slow clap*

Brilliant marketing scheme, Devine. I fell for it, spending my points at EF to buy one. At first, I was mostly happy with the case, despite the flaws in quality and design with the lock. But within the year…. the problems began. And I stopped using it. It became a doorstop, a beast lurking in the closet, a shiny mocking lump.

In the beginning….

I originally bought the Devine Playchest not so much for toy storage, but as something neat for travel. Back then I was taking yearly trips into NYC/DC for sex bloggery events, and foresaw a need for something cute like this. But the Playchest is quite heavy all on it’s own–when you fill it up? Overwhelming. I tried filling it with sex toys to see how much it would hold, but then I literally could not lift the sucker. This was the main reason I stopped using it. I would toss toys in there because in 2010 we lived in a small-ish apartment and I didn’t have the room I do now for sex toys. But it stayed in the closet.

The Honeymoon Ended

The lock was always my biggest complaint – for such a pricey storage option, that lock was maddeningly cheap. One key bent not long after I bought it and the “lock” could be picked with a bobby pin and patience. And the spring-loaded locking latch soon stopped popping out enough after pushing it below the latching mechanism’s bar, meaning that the flap would pop up with some pressure (like during transport). After a little while, I also grew to hate the interior design. There were pockets inside the lid, but they were just mesh with elastic at the openings. Stuff would fall out. The inside was a box with a wibbly cardboard divider held in place by velcro. Stuff could only be piled haphazardly.  Another problem is with the fake patent leather.  It scuffed and tore easily, and this case never left the apartment, it wasn’t handled with anything but care. The light pink section of the lock flap and the handles started absorbing color from the black.

Then, a rep from Devine got a little condescending-bunny on me in the comments of my on-site review. [tooltip tip=”Can you guess what my overall opinion is of Devine since then? I’m sure you can”]Thanks[/tooltip] for that, really. But hey, here we are — 4 years later, and not only are the cases still around but they keep coming out with new colors. Sure, the new colors look snazzy. All black; dark purple with black accents or blood red with black accents. And sadly, the cases seem good for the first few months and that’s when reviews get written.  I can’t go back and edit my reviews at EF, or I would. I’ll have to settle for updating it here.  Since it’s still readily available and still costs a bomb ($115 at Shevibe), I have got to tell you that it is not worth the investment. At all. Not unless you regularly drop $100+ on kitschy items for the sake of the looks and not the quality/function. Was it large? Yes. Was it sturdy in build? Sure. Was it relatively pretty (albeit in a certain overtly femme way)? Yes. That’s not enough to save it though, for me. For that kind of money, I’m going to be really picky.

Where Are They Now?

Currently living at Crista‘s house. Not as sex toy storage. I said “it’s pink and black and cute, but please take this puppy off my hands” and she said “awesome! The kids will love to [tooltip tip=”Because of the chest shape, it really would have made an awesome pirate chest”]play pirate[/tooltip]!” and then she pirated it for herself. The end.

  • Jane Patterson

    “Limited edition” is an art world concept, particularly from the medium of printmaking. And you know how you can tell if something is a limited edition? It has a number on it. On the FRONT, even. Being coy about edition sizes is irritating when scammy or newbie artists do it. Manufacturers that try it should be smack upside the head with a stinky fish.

    (Can you tell it is kind of a pet peeve of mine?)

    Since these are unimpressive and fyn closed, do you have recommendations? My kids are old enough that locking is now an issue.

  • Actually I might, but I’m still in the process of testing it for durability and practicality etc. Stay tuned ;)

  • I remember when these came out, I lusted for one sooooooooo badly…. then I started reading all the reviews and decided it probably wasn’t in my best interest. Giant tupperware bins have served me well over the years, even if they don’t have locks (but they didn’t seem to work well anyways, so whateves).

    p.s. I love that you’re doing #throwbackthursday as a sex toy edition. <3

  • Yeah, I know that for reviewers like us, storage like this is kinda ridic BUT I am for some reason a sucker for shit like this. Seriously I’ve been known to want to review a sex toy for the packaging it came in.

  • Been there, done that, still doing it. I don’t think I’ll ever learn. *sigh*

  • Heaven

    I have two of these, I thought they were cute as well but you are right, they get heavy when you add stuff in it. I have to lift with two hands instead of one. The luck I don’t even use them on mines because I am scared something is going to happen to it. Half the time I can’t even get the strap to go back in the little part it goes into. The only reason I use it is for my glass toys because most of them are in pouches and I don’t want to put them in my drawer or the tote I have my toys in. I also was a sucker because how cute these were when they came back in stock I jumped at the chance to get them.

  • I almost wasted my money to get an all black because it looked nicer!!

    Goddamn glad I didn’t.

  • Heaven

    Shoot I did not know they had the purple and red. I think I would be a fool and grab them if they offered them again, just to say I have them.

  • NO DON’T DO IT!!!!! LOL

  • Heaven

    LOL, oh hell no I won’t, it is way too much money and I am afraid that I won’t have them that long after moving them around. I noticed on one of them with the weight it does not sit on the hinges right so I have to fix it or remove stuff out of it in order for it to fit right. I have moved on to a regular $5 dollar tote you can get in a store and it holds a lot more then these do any day. I always say cute does not always cut it.

  • I so love that Crista’s kids are now using it to play pirate! Again, I must say that your Throwback Thursday idea is genius, since opinions on toys & products change over the years. I might have to follow your lead and post a few too. :)

  • Crista decided to use it for her stuff instead, lol. You should see it, it’s like a Rainbow Brite convention. https://twitter.com/pinkness/status/459729876413870080
    https://twitter.com/pinkness/status/459737482759004160

  • that’s amazing lol