Apr 292014
 

While you’re waiting on me to finish up some reviews, and while I was procrastinating on everything I actually *should* be working on, I scrolled through some search terms that led people to my site. I’m not sure if these people found the answers they were looking for. In case they didn’t, though, let’s get started.

“can u have sex with luna beads”

Well a penis and two Luna beads are a bit crowded for the average vagina – even if you’re using the Mini Luna Beads. That’s the understatement of the year. Anal sex with Luna beads in the vag? Perhaps. Oral sex with Luna Beads in the vag? Ok, but I don’t see what that would do for ya.

“fixsation v.s. we vibe4”

No contest, We-Vibe 4. We-vibe 4 is more powerful than the Fixsation, and works a lot better too.

“dildo melted on other toy”

THROW THEM BOTH OUT. NOW.

“it is dangerous to use sex toys made in china?”

We need to stop focusing on the Where and focus on the Who. As I discussed before, if it’s a vibrator then chances are it will have to be made in China. That in and of itself doesn’t make the sex toy bad.

“is melted sex toy safe to use”

Jesus fuck, no. It wasn’t safe to use BEFORE it melted, but now you’ve got chemicals and oils leeching out and material breaking down and….no. It’s toxic to you at this point.

“do i get phthalates if i use condom on vibrator”

There haven’t been any studies to show if the condom can actually block the dangerous, toxic chemicals that leach from cheap sex toys. There have been reports from other users that they still experienced skin irritation and burning despite covering the sex toy with a condom, so our best guess is that the condom is ineffective. Even if the sex toy doesn’t use phthalates to soften, there is still the risk of using a porous toy because of the nasties that can hang out in the material and breed.

“how do you get mold off of silicone sex toys”

If there’s mold on your “silicone” sex toy, then it was never silicone to begin with. Throw it out and buy from trusted manufacturers. Maybe even do a flame test next time?

“itchy after using silicone dildo”

It wasn’t really silicone. If the material was crystal clear, then it wasn’t the silicone the manufacturer/retailer claimed it was, and you’re itchy from the chemicals leaching out of the material.

“sex toys made from wax”

Ok, I’mma judge you a little bit here. Especially since I’m seeing other variations of this search term. NO! They’re bad! See also: Regretsy for Sex Toys: Clay and Wax Dildos. And then run like hell in the other direction.

“jelly dildo black spots”

Those black spots? That’s mold, most likely. Unless you stored it on/in/near something dyed black, but that’s less likely to be spotty. Please, toss this dildo! It’s unsafe, even before the mold grew.

 

Search terms that I just couldn’t even answer include: “pure wand anal damage rectum”, “jelly none taste none smell dildos”, and “my vagina has a rubber smell after using dildos”. Also, a LOT of people are using the spelling “dildoes” in addition to the other crap spelling mistakes. also, a few people are sadly misinformed that a “wii vibe” is not what they thought when they heard the words spoken.

 Posted by at 5:13 pm
  • Camryn Jones

    Wow. The mold/black spots are way too common for my liking. I am soo glad I discovered bloggers before I went toy shopping!
    People searching for wax sex toys surprises me. Apparently there really is a market for those!
    I’m cringing so much at the “Pure Wand damage rectum” one. May your butt heal quickly, poor dear.

  • Oh there were also searches on clay dildos. Dildoes.

  • Jenna Clark

    Because it’s 4:36 in the afternoon, and I cannot fricking handle any more paperwork today…

    The question about itchiness/irritation after using silicone toys? I get that a lot, and one of the things I’ve learned to assess for over the ages is to ask about the lube. LOTS of folks will think it’s the toy, when they are potentially using lube that is outdated, contaminated, or may contain ingredients that are causing a reaction. Which is not to say that making sure you’re using quality toys isn’t an important thing, but also making sure your lube isn’t possibly causing issues is well worth your time.

  • Oh good point!!! I honestly didn’t know that lube could “expire”. But I did briefly ponder the reacting-to-the-lube thing.

  • Lunabelle

    When I read “Wii vibe”, I got a horrible mental image of a Wii controller being improperly used while Super Mario Bros. music plays cheerfully in the background. At least no one asked if the wrist strap make them safe for anal use…

  • Jenna Clark

    Well, let me clarify, although this is kinda gross: there are some folks for whom a bottle of lube will last forever. I have a friend, a personal friend, who was getting repeated irritations and she thought for sure it was a toy. I asked about her lube – the bottle was SEVEN years old and the contents were visibly contaminated. Apparently, buying lube was a little embarrassing, and she wasn’t out of lube, so she just kept using the same stuff. Her gynecologist had seen her for repeated BV kinds of symptoms, and never thought to ask.

    Lube, folks. Pay attention, it’s worth it.

  • The fact that there are searches for sex toys made from wax freaks me out…BUT I’m glad they’re finding your blog & post and hopefully learning to NOT do that.

  • A Wii vibrator actually does exist! I had totally forgotten about it until like 10 minutes ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa_Z4XMFoCc

  • oh, yeah. that thing.

    (I’m not sure I can convey the “visine guy” level of meh. I wasn’t impressed with that thing)

  • Wren

    Speaking of black spots on jelly dildos, I was talking to a person on tumblr after they made a post about a sex toy of questionable materials reacting with another toy they had and told them about toxic sex toys and why they’d react. Their reply was both great and horrible all at once. They said that it looked like the toy was getting blackheads and that they were going to throw it out ASAP. Those “blackheads” were probably mold spots.