Dec 092012
 

As I trawl through my Tumblr dashboard, I tend to see a lot of cases of ignorance-via-innocence and household objects being repurposed as dildos. Today the object to catch my eye and trigger this post was nothing more than a simple carrot being used by a 19 year old woman as an anal dildo.

I’m sure that many people reading this are not seeing the downside. “An all-natural dildo!” you might say. “A cheap dildo!” could be an argument. “A dildo that anybody can acquire easily!” you also may say. Nay nay, my friends. These reasons are full of false security. The easiest thing I can say to invalidate all of this: Go grab a carrot. Any carrot. Try to snap it in half. You can do that fairly easily, yes? The muscles in the rectum are shockingly powerful during orgasm and could easily break off part of that carrot. It would be stuck up your butt.

And lest you think that a portion of a carrot is no big thing, or that snapped-off portions of vegetables are your only worry….let us also remember the incredible “vacuum” powers of the rectum. Have you ever seen this informative video from Tantus and Ducky Doolittle, where she lists off all the things that medical professionals have had to remove from people’s butts? Lots of mind-boggling choices are included, like an onion or a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s, but let’s focus on this carrot.

That’s an 11 inch carrot that was used as a dildo. And it required the help of a medical professional to remove it. Whole. So no, this one didn’t break off…..it just got sucked up inside the rectum.

Think about that. Really hard. Imagine having to go to your regular doctor for this sort of removal. Or the Emergency Room, where you’ll pay a lot more and have to wait an uncomfortably long time in plastic chairs first and be in an area where you’re bound to be overheard as you explain why you’re there. Think about that.

Now, I know. You’re a poor college student; you’re 17 and living in a sheltered town with strict parents; you’re a guy experimenting with anal play; or you’re just the sort of person who can’t find a way to justify the quality of materials vs cost of things you insert in your orifices. Ultimately, it’s your choice. But the Silk Small or Silk Medium from Tantus will replicate the size of your average carrot / zucchini / cucumber; is a one-time relatively affordable cost; and is made from materials that are 100% safe to insert in to sensitive holes. I can’t say the same for that cucumber you forgot to wash the pesticides off of.  Or chose from any other Tantus dildo, really, because they’re all silicone and they all have a flared base – this prevents the whole vacuum-ass thing. Same as the vibrator enhancers from Evolved, which you can add on to any existing vibe…..or if you’re just that stubborn, whatever household object you’re fond of using. I can’t say I will ever understand the fascination with shoving highlighters and sharpies and whatnot up your holes, but whatever. Just be safer about it, ok?

  • http://www.juliettia.com Juliettia

    Every time I see images like this on Tumblr it makes me want to cry. I get the mindset of why they would think this is ok, just sheer ignorance. However the problem is when they post images like this they only encourage others to do so.

    I saw a pegging video that had A TON of likes and reblogs on Tumblr where the woman is clearly using a jelly dildo and Crisco for lubricant. CRISCO! Just NO. NO. NO! If you can afford to buy a jelly dildo, a harness, AND crisco, you can buy the proper safe anal tools so that you don’t harm your partner.

  • http://secretlysensuous.com Secretly Sensuous

    For me it was just no access, and also little privacy. Ordinary household objects could always be explained away. A dildo, not so much.

    Using household items represent years of terror for me at the thought of injuring myself and needing medical intervention. Had nothing to do with stubbornness and everything to do with lack of options.

    I’d actually love to see more info on safe ways to use household items, not because I think it’s a good idea but because if for whatever reason that’s the direction a person is headed in, they may as well be armed with info on how to go about it as safely as possible.