May 082012
 

Please allow this old lady a bit of self-involved moping and grumping for a mo’, would ya?

Last year’s birthday REALLY sucked. Perhaps this year’s birthday won’t suck so badly because I’m aware that it will suck in advance and I am preparing myself for that. The asshole now-ex-friend who forgot my birthday last year is off the hook now due to being a large douchebag who I don’t speak to anymore. Husband has informed me that he will not at all be up for anything fun or even dinner out, due to very stressful workplace goings-on this month that have my poor guy so wound up that we’re both at our less-than-best lately. We’re rescheduling for an unknown date in the near-ish future, at least.

Even my birthday wish list was produced with as much effort as pulling one’s own teeth. Money would be grand, though, so if a bunch of people were to buy sex toys from my affiliate links over there in the sidebar, I’d be tickled pink! We’ve decided to save up for the down payment on a house so any job offers or projects would be lovely too.

In a few weeks I’m turning 35 and I must admit I’m not pleased with that. I can’t say anymore that I’m vaguely in my “early 30′s”. I’ll suddenly be closer to 40 than 30 by just a smidge. Age is just a number, you say? 35 is the new 25, you say? The problem is I’m most certainly feeling like I’ve not done jack shit of importance in my life, that I’ve behind the 8-ball and failing miserably.

Growing up, my birthday was usually a big deal. I guess that’s what you get when you’re an only child? I wasn’t lavished with expensive presents but I didn’t ask for anything expensive, either. I don’t think it existed! We didn’t have cell phones or computers or handheld game thingiemabobbers. WE HAD STICKS. Ok, fine, it was better than sticks. And aside from my senior prom falling on my birthday one year and half the invitees not showing up to my 16th party, birthdays as a kid were pretty good. I’d have one with friends and then one with family. God, I miss my grandmother’s cake frosting.

So yeah…I guess the reason why my birthday list is so short on tangible items is that I’m realizing I’d rather have people. I’d like to go back to the busy, love-filled birthdays of childhood. I want to spend a whole day doing fun sightseeing with my husband, something we haven’t done in ages. I’d like to feel loved and appreciated by friends and family. Are we really all too damn busy for birthdays anymore? Are we really at the level where the most we can be arsed to do is post something on someone’s Facebook wall (and only then because Facebook reminds you) and call it job well done?

(please don’t comment to wish me a happy birthday, or I will stab you)

  • http://wetspotsandcaffeine.blogspot.com Erin B

    I know the feeling about birthdays sucking. I’m glad yours in the past as been great until recent years. I’m turning 26 (please dont kill me for saying that) and my mom had the gumption to say “You’re getting old!” My birthdays have always sucked. My birthday is on the 18th, and from the town I’m from, 2 weekends before theres a huge marathon, with the following weekend having a festival and parade, then the weekend after there’s Memorial Weekend, so that means there was never any money for my birthday and everyone always had plans, so no party. I wish you the best celebration when you do celebrate and hope things cheer up and work out soon. Btw, love your blog :D

  • http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com Nadia West

    I turn 40 in November. You think YOU’RE having angst?? lol

    Seriously though, I’m with you on the time with friends thing being the best present. I’m contemplating a big birthday ‘do at home and inviting tons of friends (you’d definitely be on the list). I figure, a birthday is at least an excuse to throw a party and see friends.

    I won’t wish you a happy birthday since I don’t want to be stabbed. How about… you rock? I need to refer a friend to your site since she’s not in the know about safe sex toy materials and you have covered so much.

  • http://sierraslilcorner.wordpress.com/ Sierra

    I feel the same… Exactly. Here I thought I was the only one. I have 9 days my 30th birthday. Hang in there..

  • http://papawatson.blogspot.com/ Bob

    Thirty-five is the new 15 so sit back and enjoy your puberty while it lasts, girl. :)

  • http://pennysdirtythoughts.com Penny

    you said you don’t think you’ve done anything of importance, but I love your blog and am inspired by it as well as e[Lust] and Wanton Wednesday…and I’m sure many others would say the same. Also I feel you on the birthdays not being a big deal anymore…I did get to go out with my bf which I am grateful for, but since I recently deleted facebook only a few people remembered it.

  • http://ofsexandlove.com adriana

    Yes, they all suck