Please allow this old lady a bit of self-involved moping and grumping for a mo’, would ya?
Last year’s birthday REALLY sucked. Perhaps this year’s birthday won’t suck so badly because I’m aware that it will suck in advance and I am preparing myself for that. The asshole now-ex-friend who forgot my birthday last year is off the hook now due to being a large douchebag who I don’t speak to anymore. Husband has informed me that he will not at all be up for anything fun or even dinner out, due to very stressful workplace goings-on this month that have my poor guy so wound up that we’re both at our less-than-best lately. We’re rescheduling for an unknown date in the near-ish future, at least.
Even my birthday wish list was produced with as much effort as pulling one’s own teeth. Money would be grand, though, so if a bunch of people were to buy sex toys from my affiliate links over there in the sidebar, I’d be tickled pink! We’ve decided to save up for the down payment on a house so any job offers or projects would be lovely too.
In a few weeks I’m turning 35 and I must admit I’m not pleased with that. I can’t say anymore that I’m vaguely in my “early 30’s”. I’ll suddenly be closer to 40 than 30 by just a smidge. Age is just a number, you say? 35 is the new 25, you say? The problem is I’m most certainly feeling like I’ve not done jack shit of importance in my life, that I’ve behind the 8-ball and failing miserably.
Growing up, my birthday was usually a big deal. I guess that’s what you get when you’re an only child? I wasn’t lavished with expensive presents but I didn’t ask for anything expensive, either. I don’t think it existed! We didn’t have cell phones or computers or handheld game thingiemabobbers. WE HAD STICKS. Ok, fine, it was better than sticks. And aside from my senior prom falling on my birthday one year and half the invitees not showing up to my 16th party, birthdays as a kid were pretty good. I’d have one with friends and then one with family. God, I miss my grandmother’s cake frosting.
So yeah…I guess the reason why my birthday list is so short on tangible items is that I’m realizing I’d rather have people. I’d like to go back to the busy, love-filled birthdays of childhood. I want to spend a whole day doing fun sightseeing with my husband, something we haven’t done in ages. I’d like to feel loved and appreciated by friends and family. Are we really all too damn busy for birthdays anymore? Are we really at the level where the most we can be arsed to do is post something on someone’s Facebook wall (and only then because Facebook reminds you) and call it job well done?
(please don’t comment to wish me a happy birthday, or I will stab you)