Nov 092011
 

I’ve not been around much lately. First, we were planning a weekend away which was cut short due to the winter storm that knocked out power for most of Connecticut. Then I had no power for days and froze my ass off and generally was miserable. THEN I had to go out of state to stay with my mother (actually, my great-aunt, where she’s staying, because her house isn’t rebuilt quite yet) and take care of her after a foot surgery. I knew she’d be a pain because she’s never been a good patient – is stubborn, wants to do for herself, even if it means she’s disobeying doctor’s orders. I thought I’d be able to go to a family member or two’s house every day for a few hours to get internet access…..but I wasn’t. That only happened twice in the 7 days I was there ( and I wasn’t supposed to be there 7 days, either). You know what happens a lot more when I’m away and without internet (as I have been at least 4 times for extended periods since late August)?

  • People complain that I’m late with something, like this all is my whole entire life and not a side hobby
  • I get more requests for invites to ToySwap when I’m gone. Coincidence I’m sure but still weird; and it’s difficult/impossible for me to invite when I have only my phone as “internet” so they have to wait for me.
  • I get advertising queries that I can’t respond to right away and then when I do they never get back to me again
  • My site goes down
  • Drama happens (oh wait…that’s every week)
  • Sex toys come in the mail and I can’t open them up and try them out immediately (hello, WeVibe 3)

At the last minute mom changed her mind about when I was heading home and suddenly I’m finding myself not coming home Monday, but late Wednesday. By the time we were done running errands Monday and Tuesday I was so exhausted I was literally falling asleep at the dinner table. Guess what wasn’t on my mind? Wanton Wednesday. But I wake up Wednesday morning with a few genuinely concerned people, some others who just like to harass me when I’m late on WW due to REAL LIFE and others still who don’t even follow me but are whining that the post isn’t up. Am I griping about every person who tweeted about it? No. Not everyone. But seriously I’m never more popular on Twitter than when people are whining that I’m late with something. It’s never the good stuff, lol.

I was already on a thin string and that kinda all set me off. And now I’m home, days later than anticipated, with e[lust] looming in front of me lest I get more irritated tweets wondering where that is (like I’m some kinda business and my services they paid for are down……).

Do times like this make me want to just pack it all in?

Yup. They do.

I’ve considered ending Wanton Wednesday. Others have volunteered to take over hosting it, but I’m on the fence about that. Perhaps my Wanton Wednesday has had it’s time and now it is time for someone else to come up with their own version. Of course there already is SinfulSunday and Wank Wednesday, so it’s not like the community is lacking for anything.

I keep bouncing around on ending e[lust]. Sugasm was way more erratic in the last 8-10 months that it was active, yet I cut back to a monthly digest instead of every 2 weeks, and take a month off sometimes due to holidays and suddenly there are people complaining that I’m unreliable with e[lust]. Really? You try running it tip to bottom just one time. See how easy it is. I’m now finding that a lot of the people who used to submit consider themselves “too” something to participate anymore: intellectual, serious, famous. Some just don’t post much anymore. Is sex blogging dying out? Sugasm had more entries in it their last 2 years because they allowed anything to be submitted; commercial sites, photos, reviews, etc. I’m not sure how the sex blogging community sees e[lust] anymore and if there’s a reason for me to continue it.

These past few weeks have bounced back and forth between comedy and tragedy, both in the greek sense and the literal. I’m about at the end of my rope. I’m also tossing around the idea of whether or not to keep blogging. I don’t think I have much to say anymore and I’m certainly nothing like I was the first year; me, my posts, my photos….nothing is the same. I’m pretty unsexy lately! There is nothing dangerous anymore.

 Posted by at 9:53 pm
  • http://barenakedlady.wordpress.com Jilly Boyd

    Lilly my dear.

    I know I’m not much of a voice in the community, but I look up to you. Wanton Wednesday has made me more open about my body and not that ashamed anymore. And I have you to thank for it.

    I sincerely hope that sex blogging is not dying out. I’m fairly new to the community and have found my home here, and I’d be sad to see it go away.

    Maybe (and I’m just suggesting) it’s time for a bit of a revamp? Give yourself some time and come back.

    Again, I’m not a big voice. But it’s bloggers like you who make me believe I can be.

    xx

    ~Thanks for the comment and support! I HAVE taken breaks. Numerous times, lol. It’s why I’m simply contemplating a total stop. Not sure how to revamp, either. I am glad to hear your thoughts on WW. Voices like yours do make me want to continue it.

  • http://www.neamhspleachas.com Molly Rene

    I really hope that e[lust] doesn’t end. I enjoy reading it and have found many of my favorite bloggers through it. I don’t find you to be unreliable at all and clearly, your personal life should come first. Anyone who says otherwise isn’t living in the same reality the rest of us are.

    Maybe let e[lust] go for the rest of the year and revamp in January? Perhaps you could schedule it to always come out on the first of the month or something, making it easier for people to remember when they should be expecting it. Also, perhaps planning to just take the least active months off (I’m thinking maybe Dec. and Aug.)

    Just my two cents.

  • http://mystic-satyr.blogspot.com/ Max

    I’ll echo what Molly says above. I really hope e[lust] will continue. I’ve enjoyed being a part of it, and have discovered a lot of great blogs through it. I think it goes without saying (to anyone with half a brain) that e[lust] isn’t your job, and that personal issues will and should come first.

    Do what you feel is best for you, but I just want to make sure you know that there are plenty of folks who enjoy e[lust] and appreciate your efforts.

    All the best,
    Max

  • http://www.blacksilk.wordpress.com Blacksilk

    Please don’t pack it all in. *Especially* the blogging. I absolutely love your blog. It was one of my big influences towards the start of my own blog and it remains a huge influence on me today. The sex blogging world needs bloggers like you who know what they want and aren’t afraid to say it. I love your no-bullshit attitude (even though it sometimes makes me scared I’ll offend you) and your blog is so frickin’ intelligent it’s amazing. I would really miss it if it was gone.

    Wanton Wednesday and e[lust] too are things I’ve started lately to get really into. It’s great to have a way to get posts out there more, get good comments and find other cool posts to comment on. And I’d be lying if I said the peak in my hit count wasn’t a factor too. e[lust] especially is a great concept and I still live in hope of getting into the top three someday (though God knows how given the level of quality!).

    If they’re ‘unrealiable’ sometimes (and I wouldn’t say they are), so what? Like you say, this isn’t your job, we don’t pay you and you’re doing us a massive favour by running these things. We frickin’ owe you. We certainly don’t have a right to complain about you having a life. I’d hope most people got that.

    Anyway, enough of me rambling. To sum up, I love your blog and I think e[lust] and WW are great community tools in a community that still seems, to me, to be thriving. And, frankly, haters gon’ hate. If some people can’t see that you have a life outside of blogging, fuck ‘em.

  • b.

    As someone new around these parts, I’m finding [e]lust to be an amazing resource and I really hope you’ll continue with it. You do a great job and all the effort you put in is much appreciated!

  • http://duskinchains.com Dusk

    Oddly enough, I feel like we should make a group of people who are going through this. Band together. Inspire each other to write, somehow. Because I’ve been busy, admittedly, but I’ve also been generally uninspired to write. To blog. To finish the long line of reviews that people are complaining at me I’m late on. And I feel like there are enough of us floating around that we could be great resources to each other.