May 122011
 

First, an aside. I’ve been feeling lately that I’m not being a very “good” reviewer in that I’m not producing happy, sparkly reviews. Expensive, cheap, and everything in between I’m honest to a fault, perhaps. But I don’t review just to receive toys, I review so that others may know something about a sex toy before purchasing. So I can’t gloss over things, I won’t bullshit and I won’t be Glinda the Good Witch.

So you know what’s coming, right?

Yeah.

A bad review.

But this time I don’t feel it’s my fault (and I use the term “fault” loosely). You see, SSA Glass is the manufacturer of this dildo and other glass sex toys that EdenFantasys carries. And SSA’s first run of this dildo looked like this:

What I received is….the work of a drunken apprentice. And lest we chalk it up to a one-off, I’ve read at least 2 other reviews which state the exact same thing. The design has changed drastically, the quality changed drastically and it’s downright UGLY. In the original run of the Ocean Breeze dildo, those pretty little raised dots accented in red look like little jewels. The base is symmetrical and the dildo has a nice curve with some somewhat-realistic veins and head-shaping.

This is what mine looks like:

Razor burn.

Rash.

Disease.

In short: UGLY. And one of the primary reasons that people purchase glass dildos is because they are PRETTY. I truly can’t even stand to look at this thing so it doesn’t ever get used – even if the shaft had been up to par. Which it wasn’t. They changed the curve so that if you hold it like it should be held, the curve points away from your g-spot. Mine isn’t thick enough to make up for the curve issue with girth. The texture is irrelevant. Oh and those raised dots of red? Not all are raised dots. Some are just flat splatters of red glass, um, paint? I can’t tell what the red spots actually are. Colored dots of glass? There’s no rhyme or reason or pattern to them, the symmetry is gone. It just looks like a freak accident.

The packaging is nil, but as I understand it, that’s the case with all SSA Glass dildos. It’s up to the discretion of EF to include any sort of pouch – other reviewers stated getting one, I did not. Mine was simply wrapped up in packing paper. That’s truly it. Nothing else to tell me anything about the company or the dildo. Luckily all care information is on the site, or you can refer to the care & cleaning of glass dildos section of my site.  All of the standard tropes of glass toys apply here: Good for temperature play, you can use any kind of lube that you like, it’s body-safe, non-porous, etc etc yadda yadda.

But it’s so ugly, such poor quality, that I’d be dead embarrassed if anybody saw it in my collection.

I’ve talked with other glass dildo owners and others who’ve owned other SSA Glass dildos have had no problems as far as workmanship and it looking like the photo on the site. But you get what you pay for – SSA dildos are less expensive, which is why there’s no packaging. No frills of any sort, not even necessary frills like a padded pouch.

For a better g-spot glass sex toy in the same price range I’d recommend trying out the Bent Graduate instead. If you want the “pretty” aspect, go for the Color Tip Wand. Despite not hearing anything else bad about other SSA Glass dildos, I’m still reluctant to recommend trusting them as a brand. The change to the Ocean Breeze was recent, sometime in the last 4 months, and if other people got a dildo with the affliction of uglyitis as me then there’s something going on with the company on a production level.