Today I started updating my blogroll page; culling dead links, adding long-overdue blogs by people I like, etc. And it got me thinking about my practices versus other peoples, especially when I received an email last week from someone I didn’t know at all who wanted to do a link exchange. I politely responded with my text link rates, and (not surprisingly) never heard back.
My Blogging Commandments:
1. I comment wherever I want to, when I have something of value to add. I don’t comment JUST to comment. I don’t comment just to get my link in there. And if that person is someone who never, ever reads my blog? So what. That won’t stop me from commenting.
I’ve seen this happen here on my blog. I’ve seen bloggers eventually stop commenting because I didn’t follow suit and start reading/commenting on their blog. It’s not necessarily an insult, perhaps it’s just not my cup of tea. I’m reading fewer and fewer kink-related blogs these days. It’s just not my current “thing”.
2. I link to people I like. People I read. People who I respect their opinions and writing. I do NOT link to somebody just because they’ve asked me to.
If a blogger asks to swap links, what that says to me is “I don’t like you enough to link to you, regardless of whether you link to me. I’m doing it just to get a link from your site which might get more traffic than mine.”. That’s how I read it. If a site asks to swap links, that means they think I’m dumb enough to devalue myself and give them free advertising, lol.
3. I don’t feel obligation to link to someone just because they link to me.
It’s a great compliment. I sincerely appreciate it. But I hate obligation, so please don’t play that card.
And finally…..I hate it when someone comments and then leaves their link in the comment with “please read me!” Save that for email. That sounds bitchy, I know. But there’s a space anyways in the comment form for your address. That’s already a link. The fact that you went about it that way tells me “I’m trying to drum up traffic and I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your blog, the content of this post, or you and I’ll likely never be back”.
Give respect. Get respect. (and why the fuck do people want a link on my blog? I’m a small damn fish!)
I asked this on Twitter and got a lot of agreement, but no disagreement. Surely there’s people who disagree. I’m honestly wondering if my practices are in the minority. When I responded to one link exchange email last month, I’d told the person that if they wanted to be seen, get traffic and be a part of the community that they should participate…comment…that I see them as a stranger just wanting a hand-out who can’t even be bothered to read/participate on my blog. And that feels like being used. Their response was that they had been asked a few times for a link swap so therefore they thought it was ok/normal.