Mar 102011

This is one of those updates posts where my brain goes off into 300 tangents. Hang on!

The first thing I want to get feedback on is Wanton Wednesday. After the move I hope to get back into participating myself more frequently, as well as trying to get more people to play. (Any ideas on that, btw? It’s not really caught on like HNT but then I didn’t exactly expect/want it to be that big, being that big comes with its own set of dramas and issues). The other day I noticed that Insatiabear changed up how he does his linking for his Flash Fiction Friday weekly meme posts. He’s using this thing called Mister Linky, just an in-post widget that allows someone to put in their name and their post link, and then there’s a link right there in the post. More visible than being in the comments section. Problem is…’s reallly limited when you’re using free WordPress, which WW is. So that means in order for me to make a small part of it better and easier, I’d have to go through the hassle of moving WW. I’d really rather not go back to using Blogger, so this means one of two things: I either pay to have WW at it’s own domain name OR I set it up as a sub-domain of this site (as in and sub-domains mean it can look and be totally separate from the original domain so it won’t be like you’re just visiting my site.

But as all bloggers who’ve done The Move know, moving your blog can be a pain in the ass. However, since WW has no advertising and isn’t linked to from anywhere huge and has only a small group playing….maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? Thoughts? Is this meme even worth the trouble? Can it be better?

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e[lust]…..since I’ve had no offers to take over elust duties for the month of May, I’ve decided I have to forgo the May edition because of my move. I think though that after that, we might go back to doing it every other week. Your thoughts? Which do you prefer, once a month or twice a month?

Edit: Unless I can get the problem worked out with the contact form, twice a month won’t even be able to happen. Here’s the sitch: I use this great contact form that I paid for, as I had tried a bunch of others and had consistent problems with entries not being received. Now, an entry not being received at all is very, very rare – but the set-up that makes my life a fuck of a lot easier is the notifications portion of the form. I have it set up to automatically email out each person when the form receives their entry (this took up a lot of time in the past, doing it myself); and I have it set to email ME their entry. The email to me comes with all the pertinent details, shows as coming from the submitters email address (which makes adding them to the mailing list for that edition much easier) but I also have code in there that combines the Title and the Permalink so that I receive a working hyperlink all ready to go – to be copied as-is to the judges email, and to the edition itself. Also, when it’s sent to gmail, I have filters set up so that I can view only one category at a time. When I don’t get these emails, my work quadruples. I’ve tried the host, who tells me it’s not a problem on their end. I’ve tried the form support people who say it’s my host and not them. And I don’t know enough on my own to fix this. So if anybody out there thinks they can help fix the existing form (not just tell me to use a new one) PLEASE email me or comment here, thank you.

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On to more personal babbling….

I’m starting to feel like the “problem child” in the community, just because I refuse to be fake and I speak out when I see bullshit. To be honest, the speaking out I’ve done is actually mild; I’ve held my tongue on many things (you have nooooo idea the shit I’ve not talked about openly, for reals). But I’m not a super-positive reviewer who loves everything she’s given, I don’t like being taken advantage of, I can’t stand bullshit melodrama from people on forums who are as about anonymous as one can be online. A small scuffle with a reviewer taking a comment too personally seemed to have led to WAY more drama than was ever necessary; yet I’m the bad guy and the bad seed and seen as a pot-stirrer by some. But even by just writing out my feelings here and all I know I’ll just be digging my own grave even more. Yet it’s my blog and I want to say what I wanna say….ya know?

Seriously? I’m no angel. this we all know. But I think I have done enough in the “good girl” category to not be demoted to black sheep.

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So remember when I was bitching about the barrage of emails from Bondage Radio with nary a way to escape their grips? It was like bein in the fuckin mafia. I finally went on to Fetlife and tracked down the site owner and messaged him about this. I’d thought that it was obvious from my email where I detailed all the many ways I tried to get their daily shit to stop coming to me, he didn’t go in an unsubscribe me. BUT at least now there is a proper (dare I say finally now legal?) unsubscribe link in the footer. Which I used gleefully this morning when yet ANOTHER of their emails made it past Spam and into my Inbox.

Wait, no, I lied. They sent me a “Join us on Facebook!” message and the unsubscribe button is from FACEBOOK. GRrrrrr. Off to write another email. (He’s JarlMezentius on Fetlife btw if you ever need to contact him, as contacting people through BR is tougher than a rubik’s cube.)

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After Friday is over, I will have 7 weeks left at my job. That’s less than 2 months. It’s really not all that long when you look at it rationally but when you hate it day in and day out with a passion…’s feeling like forever. We’re still in that stage of “can’t really box up shit because there’s no place to put boxes” and looking around wondering where to even start. The other big wonder is how to move the Liberator shapes, particularly the ramp/wedge combo. Those of you who own it or have seen one in person know that the ramp is HUGE. It won’t even fit inside our black garbage bags. I’ve got all my sexy books boxed up and marked as “personal” so that I know not to let anybody unpack them and to keep them with my bags of sex toys.


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My mind’s all cluttered and I’m finding myself unable to finish posts, or think of good ones consistently. So……any questions for the Ask Lilly column? Anything?

 Posted by at 9:40 am

Review: Je Joue MiMi Vibrator

 Sex Toys  Comments Off on Review: Je Joue MiMi Vibrator
Mar 092011
Update: Despite the Je Joue Mimi winning the top spot in a sex toy round-up in Good Housekeeping UK, I feel that the new Je Joue Mimi Soft is a slightly better version. It finally earns my respect! The Je Joue Mimi Soft also taught me that my old original Mimi had some flaws that newer ones don’t.

After hearing a LOT of hype and talk on how powerful and rumbly the Je Joue Mimi was (and how underwhelmed I was by the vibrations of the G-Ki) I decided to take matters into my own hands and not wait to be offered one for review, I just bought it. I got the purple and it’s not a bad color. Very dark, eggplant-like purple.

The vibrator itself is pretty plain and discreet. It looks like a flattened egg – not the sex toy egg, but the chicken egg. In fact it’s about that size, too. A jumbo egg, probably. The quick specs borrowed from the EF page for MiMi:

  • Small, elegant, discrete, and powerful
  • Rechargeable via magnetic clip
  • Waterproof
  • 5 levels of vibration and 5 pulse patterns
  • Covered in new soft and smooth 100% silicone
  • Packaged in a beautiful black gift/storage box
  • Available in pink, rose, purple and black

I would say that the Je Joue Mimi is discrete in how it looks, but not in how it sounds. It’s twice as loud as my Doc Johnson bullets. At least in my opinion I don’t agree with the “2 bee” sound level rating listed on the site. Yes, it is rumbly and pretty powerful but it’s just shy of surface-buzzy, too, on the highest setting. It’s hard to describe. If the vibration pitch were lower, then the top level of vibration wouldn’t feel like “too much” to me. And it kinda does sometimes. Given the shape of the toy I also find it hard to really get good contact with the toy and my clit. I think I prefer the shape of the traditional remote handpack bullet vibes over this. I’ve used it a number of times and can get off about half the time. Just the other night I was using it and I’ve noticed it has a bad habit of not really giving you great warning that it’s about to die. I thought it was feeling fairly strong, maybe in need of a little charging and then bam. It shut off. Do you know how irritating that is?!? It’s even moreso with rechargeables because you can’t just pop in a new battery and quickly return to business. No, you’re out of commission for a good few hours at least. It’s these moments I’m thankful that I have my Wahl permanently plugged in and within easy reach from the bed.

I had been warned by a few other reviewers that the buttons on the MiMi are notoriously difficult to press. And when it’s actually turned on, they’re not so bad – it’s getting the thing turned off or on that I find difficult. You have to press and hold it for a few seconds. (and press hard) Since it’s a uniform shape you can have a hard time knowing without looking which way you’re holding it, i.e. is the up button on the left side or the right side? Perhaps if you’re very thin and all, you have no obstacles in your view but I do. I’ve found that the Up button has a subtle raised plus sign on it while the Down button has an engraved minus sign on it. Once you know this and are accustomed to it you can employ a little rudimentary braille reading into your masturbation session.

There is a tiny red light that emits from underneath the silicone skin right where the tiny Je Joue logo is etched into the silicone, but again….if you have it turned around you won’t see that red light. It blinks when you’ve successfully depressed a button. Does it give off warning blinks when the power is about to slam shut on you like prison gates during a riot? I guess I’ll have to experiment to find out.

Mimi comes in the typical Je Joue box – pretty, textured pressboard like, black, with a lid that ties shut to the box with a black ribbon. Since this one is a lot smaller than the G-Ki I’ll probably keep the box for holding various little things. No little bag or anything for the vibe, but that’s ok. Mimi, like all Je Joue toys, recharges magnetically. The Up and Down buttons are metal for a reason – that’s where the charger attaches. Now when I had the G-Ki, I never had any issues with the charger staying on the toy. The magnets were strong enough to keep it in place, but not so strong that you had trouble disengaging the charger from the toy. Not so with the Mimi, or at least the one I own. The magnets seem weak and I had to set up the toy and the charger “just so” otherwise the charger fell/slid off the toy. It’s really irritating to think you’re charging a toy and come back to find the charger just laying there like it passed out from the sheer effort of it all.

So….is Mimi worth it? While I applaud the new motor (which would have been greatly appreciated on the G-Ki), I can’t wholeheartedly recommend this thing. Unless you really have your heart set on an earth-friendly rechargeable handheld clit vibrator. When compared to the power of the Lelo vibes, however, it’s much better. But there’s still something just slightly “off” with either the shape or the pitch of vibration that makes it a little more difficult for me to orgasm with this as compared to either of my Doc Johnson bullets. But then again many women are easier to get off than I am, so I have a feeling it will appeal to a lot of people.

Who would like this vibe: If you consider yourself to be middle of the road in terms of sensitivity and ease of achieving clitoral orgasm. If you really liked the idea of the Lelo clitoral vibes but felt they weren’t quite powerful enough, I think this one has a little more oomph.

Who would probably not like this vibe: if your clit is really sensitive AND you like patterns, this might not be the vibe for you. Unlike Lelo toys where you can set the intensity level and then pick a pattern, this one does not. So most patterns have all or some of their pulsing times on the highest power setting. If you fall into this category, then I’d suggest the Lelo Siri.

Mar 072011

Expounding a bit on my prior post on ethics in blogging, after the umpteenth blogger friend told me they’d been given a shady offer on a “permanent” advertising link from the same person/company, I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut anymore.

I’ve dealt with a lot of advertisers in my time. Some who are great and respectful, some who haggle or stall at every renewal, and even some who just never respond to your renewal reminder as you let their link continue on until finally giving up and removing it. But never have I had someone offer a one time payment for a link on my site forever. The company owner of (a place I used to review for but he didn’t seem to know that when contacting me) is making the blogger rounds every month with a new batch of people that I can only assume he hopes will net him one who will be newbie enough to take him up on his insulting offer. He’s hit up newer bloggers, established bloggers and everybody in between. He emails you with a dollar amount for a link and he conveniently leaves out his time frame. All other decent advertisers ASK what your monthly rate is, do you offer longer contracts with discounts, etc. No, he pulls up a pathetically small number that basically says “I think your site is only worth $25/$50, period”. He’s never going to pay you again and he will expect you to keep up his link until the death of your site.


I hope against hope that he’s not had any luck and hasn’t screwed over a blogger who’s not dealt with advertising before. I did talk about these “permanent links” before over at the Blogger Education page on advertising, but I know that not everyone reads e[lust] and has seen it.

Let me bottom line it for you:

A permanent link is bad. Unless it’s in the many hundreds of dollars, it’s a fucking insult. The amount that he offered me for my sites was about equal to what I get for 3 months. First he contacted me at the e[lust] address and I couldn’t let it go with just a “no”, I told him off a bit and let him know that it’s insulting to all bloggers, no matter their stats or stature. I also let him know, since he didn’t bother to learn his audience before typing, that I owned this domain as well and already am involved in their affiliate program that he offered (without the offer to review toys, again, insulting as all it gets them is a link and you probably won’t see any sales). He asked for my rates though, and I can only assume that they were too high for this supposed multi-millionaire as he never responded. Until……he emailed me on THIS account a few weeks ago.All brand-new and fresh-like as if he hadn’t already tried to hit me up the month prior.


He’s not even TRYING to not be an idiot.

Is this post harsh? I’m sure some of you think so. And I realize that by calling this person out this way I might get bitten in the ass somewhere down the road. But I’m pissed. I’m offended. And I’m protective of all my blogger peers. I know that many of you who’ve gotten the offer and have discussed it on Twitter just laugh it off because you know he’s an idiot and you know you’re better than that. Jesus, I hope you know. I’m pissed because he’s trying to take advantage of us and momma bear is growling now.  I don’t care who offers it, permanent links are never good for you and only really awesome for them. A company owner who is trying to take advantage of bloggers in this way makes me never want to support again. So if Dave emails you, either tell him off or just delete it. I don’t care what your stats are: You are worth more than whatever he offers. Much more.

Bloggers, I don’t care what your site is about, if you ever have any questions on advertising and even specific advertisers please don’t hesitate to email me. I will gladly let you know if someone is worth dealing with or a deadbeat, and will help you figure out what to charge. If we don’t stick together…..we all lose out. That’s just my opinion, though.

Mar 052011

The blandly named Vanity VR6 by Jopen has shattered two really big “never” statements for me:

  • 1. I don’t like “rabbit”/dual stimulator vibrators
  • 2. Internal vibrations never do a damn thing for me

The second statement is actually the biggest ear-turner for me because it’s far and away the part of this sex toy that I love the most. Something about the internal portion’s motor on this toy acts kinda like the Pure Wand – as a direct link to my clit from the inside. It makes my clit more sensitive, it makes orgasm easier and the vibrations make my g-spot so very, very fuckin happy. And I know that it’s the motor to credit here because if I insert the toy with only the clitoral stimulator’s motor running, it’s very “meh”.

The internal portion has a very nice girth and curve, quite similar to the Lelo Mona – except that because of the clitoral arm, I can’t utilize just the shape and size of the VR6 to stimulate my g-spot. The vibrations are quite necessary. They’re strong and holyshitRUMBLY. I’m serious it’s like it vibrates my clit from the inside out, really and truly that’s what it feels like for me. Like its going beyond just g-spot stimulation and hitting the long internal portions of the clitoris.

But being a dual-stimulator means that it’s not a Holy Grail item because it’s not going to fit every woman’s anatomy, or even most women. At first glance when looking at the Vanity line , I was impressed by the range of similar yet different dual stimulators. It’s like they finally listened and took the same basic toy but just changed lengths/widths/arms/etc. The reason why I say that it’s not going to be universally liked is because of that clit stimulator arm. Even I’m not 100% sold on it but it does get me off wonderfully overall. The arm is a bit….clampy if it doesn’t hit you in the exact right spot without the toy being inserted to the hilt. That’s the best way I can describe it. I needed the toy to go inside of me just a little bit further than it seemed the arm naturally wanted to go, so I had to lift up the arm manually and press the toy in to just the right spot for both inside and out. And that is when the arm got “clampy”. If you need to do this to the toy to make the clit arm reach your clit in the spot you like, then to like this toy you have to enjoy pressure on your clit. And I do. I really do. The arm IS flexible (at the joint) but not floppy. In the photos below you can see how far I can lift up the clit arm, but I’ll be honest it requires some hand strength (says the girl with a weak grip and carpal/cubital tunnel syndrome) to keep the arm from clamping your clit. Perhaps for a woman with a less “fleshy” mound/outer labia it won’t be quite as clampy as it was for me when the toy was fully inserted. Again, let me say this again: Unless you need the toy to be inserted as far as it will go, it’s not clampy and that arm does not put on a lot of pressure but there is some. If you have preferred the fluttery whispers in the past of rabbit ears or butterfly antenna then this style isn’t for you.

Sadly the clit stimulator’s motor is not the same delicious, strong rumbly pitch of the internal portion – it’s not exactly buzzy, but it’s not my perfect pitch, either. It’s not weak, but it’s not wow-strong. For me though it doesn’t exactly need to be because of how strong the internal portion is and what it does for me overall. As I said before, if I turn off the internal portion the whole thing is very meh and wouldn’t be able to get me off. Occasionally when I’m having trouble crashing over the edge of orgasm I end up pulling the clit arm to the side and applying a different vibrator that has the correct pitch and intensity to please my clit completely. This makes things a bit awkward and can make it difficult to keep the internal portion in the right spot.

Since all of the VR line is “Powered by Powerbullet”, you’d think that all of the VR line would be as powerful as the VR6 – naynay, I say. At one point, even Powerbullet admitted that the VR6 was THE most powerful, above and beyond the others in the line. The exact page where it’s talked about has been updated and it is no longer stated as such, but you can see on the Wayback Machine that it was once the claim.

One method I like with this is to get it all in the right spot and clamp my thighs together. A slight rocking of my pelvis is enough to massage both my g-spot and my clit and get everybody happy or at least at a high enough level of endorphin-producing happiness just before orgasm that even if a pinch-hitter is required for my clit, it’s still all good.

The buttons on this thing are a little weird. To increase the intensity you don’t click-click-click, you just click and hold. While it’s on, a single click to the button will turn off that motor instantly. It’s a little weird to get used to at first, but for someone like me who just goes straight to the top level of power it’s fine. There’s one button for the clit portion and one button for the internal portion.

For being a slightly-veiled line of CalExotics (which surprised me at first), it’s a little bit pricier than I think it should be. Sure, it’s rechargeable and all rechargeable vibes get a big price bump. But unlike other luxury brands, the packaging is average and it’s not “perfect”. No dual-stimulator is, nor is any vibrator perfect for every woman but I’d feel better if the Vanity line were closer to $100 or a little less. Yep it’s silicone, and a nice velvet-y silicone at that (meaning, if you’re not soaking wet, use a little lube as this type tends to create friction) and it’s classy-looking because of the simplicity in design but it still might not quite be worth the price tag. It’s waterproof despite having no cover on the charging port (but it looks to be the type that has only a tiny slit that kind of “seals” back up) and the buttons can be locked for travel. The bag is average but at least it’s huge; way bigger than necessary for the VR6 but I presume it’s because they made only one size and it will fit even the larger VR11 types.

Of course, to feel that kind of vibration on my g-spot, I disagree on it being over-priced (somewhat). But then I waffle because it’s almost-but-not-quite-perfect for me. That clit arm can give me trouble and sometimes I wish I could just remove it and use my own bullet vibe. And then I waffle back to the giddiness I get when I feel that vibration on my g-spot; it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt. I’d be much more inclined to recommend this over the Zini Roae or the Je Joue G-Ki if power is something you like, if you prefer rumbly vibrations to buzzy. I also think that the internal portion on this is more g-spot worthy than the Roae or G-Ki, as well. I’d be tempted to recommend the VR9 but I have no idea if the motor on that is identical to the internal portion’s motor on the VR6. Also for some reason I had a really hard time getting an accurate photo representation of the purple of the toy. It’s not Royal Purple like the photos on the site, it’s more of a reddish-purple. Not quite magenta, more of a Barney Purple.

 Update: After recently owning the Lelo Ina and Ina 2, the design on those is similar to the VR6 but less intense  – both on vibrations and the “clampy” factor of that clitoral arm. The Ina 2 has enough power to satisfy nearly most users (I was able to orgasm, eventually, so that says something decent), and the clitoral arm is less clampy and more moveable than the VR6.

Mar 032011

There once was a girl who owned too many sex toys that recharged. Our fair lass lived in a cottage that was entirely too small for her and all her sex toys. This development, combined with an ADD-stereotyped heroine, led to confusion of mass proportions.

Let’s wrap this up, dear reader. I don’t have the time for a Brothers Grimm-length tale. The moral, as there are morals to all fairy tales, is to be better organized than yours truly. Find ways of marking the chargers so that you know what it goes to.

Last night I had a manic evening. The night before my body had demanded sleep and so I went to bed so early and got so much sleep that by 6pm I was jiggly. Antsy. Couldn’t even sit still long enough for a favorite TV show. Finally, I started to clean. Throw things out. Which led to a tangle of cables on the floor and THAT led to me reorganizing my sex toys at 11pm. With a lack of masking tape, colored tape or even a silver Sharpie I strode out to the kitchen and raided the cabinet of Ziplock bags. Husband queried my sanity of doing this “at this hour”. Let’s take a look at my Twitter updates to give you the best view of the show, shall we?

  • Just found a wall charger & was wondering which toy it might go to. Then I noticed “Nokia” stamped on the plug part. Guess its not for a toy
  • I need a Sex Toy Reviewer’s Guide to Chargers. with photos. *looks at huge pile of unknown chargers*
  • Hrm. I’m a bit worried here. I’m pretty sure that I have two Lelo chargers and only have one Lelo toy still in my possession…..
  • Well thankfully EF shows photos of the toys with the chargers. Now I know which charger is for my Climax Twist. Finally can use it again!!
  • Just went through a buttload of ziploc bags to both pair up chargers & toys and sep silicones.
  • And its official, I have two Lelo chargers, one Lelo toy. Shit! Someone I swapped w has a non-lelo (but working) charger.1
  • Enough rechargeable vibrators, jesus. I think my next project should be acquiring the newer gen of plug-in “massager” styles.
  • Except for the “Fairy Baby Wand“. It’s just too fuckin tiny to be taken seriously as anything but a keychain novelty, in my eyes.
  • Sure sign my ADD is fully in charge:I’m wide awake-I cleaned-I threw shit out-I organized my sex toys whilst rabidly playing ZumaBlitz
  • And achieved a new high score of over 900,000.

So now I’ve got things organized. I have both my Vanity VR6 recharging and the VR2 charging. I found the rechargeable Wahl massager (thankfully the charger said “Wahl” on it) so I can get that review written. Oddly, I always felt that the charger for my Ideal should be white, since the toy itself it white and teal, but no….it’s black. Again, thankfully it has the brand name (Natural Contours) on it. For the same reason I kept thinking that the charger for the Climax Twist was black (and once I shoved in a black charger that fit AND made the charging light turn on but instead of charging, it drained it. wtf?). I have both the regular Acuvibe and the mini Acuvibe but I only found one charger (they have the same oddly-shaped port, thankfully) which I assume is for the regular Acuvibe since the plug portion is so damn huge. Hopefully I can use it on the mini one and it doesn’t blow it up.

Last year or so I wrote up an epic compare-and-contrast 2 part review on massager-style vibrators: the kind that plug in, and the kind that recharge. A lot of new massagers have come out since then so I think I’d like my next task to be a revisiting of the comparisons. Definitely add in a few of the Fairy ones, and the Mystic Wand.

  1. To which @Tue5day responded in agreement that the Gigi I sent her has a charger that actually SAYS “Zini” on it – but it still works on the Gigi! Now I have to figure out which charger is with @Emme0704 since I gave HER the Zini
Mar 022011

The planets aligned, the decisions have been made and plans are starting to congeal.

Wait, that made me think of jello. Or gravy.

Bad word.

Anyways. I decided on which is my last day of work here at my hell job and as of May I will be  a FREE WOMAN! My sentence is over. The light is at the end of the tunnel. Etc etc. I can’t wait to leave, for so many reasons.

I have so many tentative and hopeful plans for my future but I hope that I don’t ever have to go back to a job like this again. Will I get online jobs, like copy writing for sex toys or PR/consulting for sex toy related companies? Will my sex toy ed parties actually come to fruition? I’m trying, I’m hoping. I’m hoping e[lust] will get better, I’m hoping to do something “more” with Wanton Wednesday, I’m hoping my blog will get better. But we got the house, in case you didn’t see my gleeful announcement on Twitter. We’re renting an entire house with a driveway big enough to accommodate a small party on the weekends.

For now though I’m going to concentrate on packing; finishing up old reviews and hope that I inspire people to buy sex toys through my affiliate links *ahem* so that I have seed money for my parties; hope for new advertisers to add to the seed money; and keep up as best as I can online. Going to MOMENTUM in April has a new angle now for me, even more sessions now will be appropriate for me and what I hope to do with my life.

 Posted by at 1:13 pm