Nov 18, 2010

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If penis mocking is your best revenge, your IQ must be low


I’ve run across this twice now have been disgusted both times – at the people who RT it and join in, at Twitter for letting these accounts go on (I don’t know about you but I’ve reported both accounts for spam twice now) and of the two accounts involved in this.

1. James here seems to have a Twitter account for the sole purpose of telling everyone “take it down NOW bitch” over and over again for the last 6 months. Wtf? That seems fishy. If he’s real I can understand he’s upset but jesus try the sugar before the vinegar. If you’re an asshole to people it’ll make them feel justified in joining in the virtual roast.

2. this is like the chicken and the egg…..which came first…Kate‘s twitpic blitzkrieg or James’ twitter account?

3. They’re both essentially spammers. Tweeting shit at people randomly and yet this is ok with everyone?

4. First of all, it’s a tiny photo – both the crotch shot and the full body. It could have easily been photoshopped. Secondly, flaccid length is not at all representative of erect length. He’s obviously a “grower” and since she didn’t bother to show a photo of his erect penis….well, she doesn’t have much ground there.

But really and truly now Kate if this is the best you can do for “revenge”? Tweet obsessively for months and months on end, all hours of the day, spamming and harassing people with possibly-fake flaccid-penis photos?? You, my dear, are pathetic. I just can’t tell if all of this is real, though. And if it’s not real….then what is the point?? What’s really going on here?

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Nov 16, 2010

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Wanton Wednesday: New Bra!

Last week I purchased a few things from Lane Bryant and it’s the first that I’ve shopped there in years…..they’re generally too over-priced but that day they had a big sale. I came home with some tops I’d normally not have even tried on and loved my new purchases. One of my faves was this sweater/cardigan/hoodie that is casual or can go over nicer tops, and fits beautifully even just zipped up all on it’s own. So I went back tonight to get another sweater, another top and some bras. I was lured in by their pretty bras and bought two non-practical ones. One will end up going back, but the other I tried on for hubby and got quite the reaction so I guess I’m keeping it.

I came out into the living room while hockey was on with my new sweater all zipped up. He looks up and grins, and says “New bra?” Apparently my old ones were saggier than I thought! So I did his favorite thing….I unzipped my hoodie to reveal what’s underneath.

Here’s another, more obscene view:


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Nov 14, 2010

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“I can’t orgasm – and it’s not your fault”

Author’s Disclaimer to head off certain criticism at the pass:  I am not a doctor. This post was not written by a doctor. What is true for me, my husband and some others is not true for everyone. The purpose in writing this is to help some other people who might be very similar to us and don’t know it. A doctor could explain this a lot more accurately than I, so please note that I am only trying to explain this on a basic level and to the best of my layman’s ability.


I am a tough cookie to please when it comes to sex toys; specifically, vibrators. I require more stimulation than a lot of other women do. And I find that women who are similar to me require the same type of vibrations as I do – the deeper, rumbly sort that goes beyond the surface of the skin. I need the extra stimulation not on the portion of the clitoris that you can see……I usually need the stimulation to reach the portion of the clitoris you cannot see which happens to be the majority of the organ (the clitoris can be compared to an iceberg, let’s put it that way). I’ve also found that adding in g-spot pressure ramps up the stimulation for every body part involved.  It’s a little more complicated than just that, though. The reason why I need it isn’t necessary just a body thing, it’s a brain thing. I used to think I was “deformed” and had fewer nerve endings than most others. What is lacking is my brain chemistry and probably nothing to do with my clitoris. I have a dopamine disorder mixed with other brain chemistry issues that results in a skewed “reward system” in my brain. This is the best way I can describe it (see Disclaimer above).

My husband also has dopamine issues and depending on other factors like stress, medication and more his sensitivity levels flucuate wildly. Before he was properly treated for the dopamine disorder he had a period where his brain chemicals were very messed up; the affect that this had on sex was that he required a lot more stimulation than ever before. It was actually during this time period that he really delved into exploring prostate stimulation in part because of a craving and need for more stimulation – both of the flesh and the brain. There was a time period where his orgasms were few and far between with me. Sex and blowjobs just didn’t provide the extreme level of sensation he’d come to require.

When someone’s partner has difficulty climaxing there’s often a lot of blame thrown around and/or knocks to self-esteem. The non-orgasming partner feels guilty (they might even end up faking it eventually just to soothe their partner) and frustrated. The other person worries that they’re not a good enough lover, not attractive enough, not loved enough, etc. Until quality conversations are had, a lot of bad feelings are tossed around.

There’s three ways to approach situations like this:

  • See a doctor or two for diagnosis and treatment with anti-depressants or ADD medication, or more holistic approaches like diet changes, nutrition supplements, etc. (Dopamine disorders can cause various forms of anhedonia, as can depression/anxiety)
  • Have multiple, honest discussions with your partner to alleviate relationship stress and involve them
  • Experiment with sex toys – masturbators, prostate stimulators, vibrators, dildos, whatever floats your boat. Incorporate sex toys in your sex life every time you’re together to help achieve orgasm when you want it

Thanks to porn (and teenage misinformed gossip) we’re led to believe that orgasms are easy and natural and occur for everyone. So when we (or our partner) have difficulty usually the first reaction is to hide it away and pretend all is fine. This approach not only doesn’t help matters but it makes everything more difficult for when you finally DO talk about it. While I know that orgasm does not have to be the end-result for every single sexual encounter, I think it’s pretty important. The rush of endorphins that you get from it is a boost to your own health and the health of your relationships – you feel pretty awesome when you’re laying with your partner afterward both blissed out from the orgasm high, right?

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Nov 12, 2010

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Guest Post: Erotica: Bump in the Night

Guest posts are something new here – It doesn’t have to be erotica, it can be anything really but it should kinda fit in with the place a bit, ya know? But the first one IS erotica because it’s something that’s been seriously lacking on this blog due to my own lack of a muse or simply ability to properly finish a piece. I have a whole bunch of ideas and a number of half-finished ones that I cannot seem to do. Interested in doing a guest post here? You don’t have to be a blogger, even! You can be as anonymous as you’d like if that’s your cup of tea. Erotica, OpEd pieces, or even a plea for advice from my readers. Just email me!

This guest post erotica is written by Psycosis – visit his blog or follow him on Twitter. Like what you read? Comment and let him know!


The lights are out. I slide into bed. Immediately I feel that warm body pressing against my back, curling to match the contour of my body. A shift of the hips and I suddenly feel it.

A bulge, through two layers of cloth. Instantly I have one to match, though much harder than the one I feel. It wasn’t meant for use, just for a tease. Something that was quite easy to do with me.

Another shift, and a shudder in response. The noise I make is caught somewhere between a whimper and a moan. A hand strokes my hair then slides beneath my head to cradle it. I shift this time, until my neck comfortably rests on the thicker bicep. I close my eyes, ready to fantasize before drifting off.

Suddenly I feel a hand slide over my hip, only to grip my obscene bulge tightly. It was almost painful, drawing another whimper from me. Nails bit through the cotton boxers and I tremble, not able to utter a sound this time.

The arm beneath my neck flexes, and I manage to draw in a breath just before the arm closes down on me and robs me of that gift. Finally I hear a voice, soft in my ear only enhanced by feeling that warm breath brush my cheek.

“Good boy, it’s time to sleep.”

Her voice was a delicious mix. Equal parts sadist’s narcissism and lover’s nurturing. For that woman, for that voice, I was ever the willing puppet.

I could feel her lips brush the rim of my ear, my cheek, my temple. After that my memory falters. The lack of oxygen and the over-stimulation sending me down that dark rabbit hole at suicide speeds.

Breath. A deep, sucking one as she relented. Her arm now lay across the bed and I heard a single word from her lips, “Sleep”, before her chin rested above my head. Still, her hand cradled my bulge, and her body pressed close so I could feel hers.

Sleep did soon claim me. Exhausted from such short but intense teasing. Secure in her embrace. That other sort of darkness came for me quickly, and I found myself dreaming about the things she would do once she had gotten her fill of teasing me so.

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Nov 12, 2010

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e[lust] #21

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #22? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Important e[lust] update: e[lust] will be going on hiatus for the holidays. The editions for November and December would both occur around the holidays and I know I’ll be short on both submissions and judges as well as personal time. e[lust] #22 will return in January, with ample advance warning, so please make sure you’re subscribed for updates!

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

D/s Without the D/s?This is one of those situations in a real time D/s relationship where much of the “fun” aspects of the D/s needs to be stuffed in the closet for a bit. And for us, it’s not a great time to be either a masochist or a sadist. We can deal with that.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Yes, Jelly Sex Toys Can be DangerousEven if a jelly rubber toy says “phthalate-free”, it still can contain toxic chemicals that can cause skin reactions in some people. These toys are still non-porous and can harbor dirt and bacteria because they cannot be sanitized.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Unfortunately, this edition has no Top Three picks as I didn’t have enough volunteer judges. If you’d like to volunteer to help, visit this page to find out more info and ensure that the Top Three picks continue.

See also: Pleasurists #101 and #100 for all your sex toy review needs.

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