Today (tomorrow as I write this in the throes of more sleeplessness on Sunday, actually) is National Coming Out Day. A day where some really brave and true individuals all over the country are telling coworkers or friends or classmates or family that the sexual orientation and/or gender that they present physically is, in fact, not the truth as they know it. Not an easy thing to do all the time.
National Coming Out Day is an internationally observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual and transgender (LGBT) issues. It is observed by members of the LGBT communities and their supporters (often referred to as “allies“) on October 11 every year, or October 12 in the United Kingdom.
When I thought about this day over the weekend, I knew that I still feel I’m in a position that I can’t “come out” to friends and family. In order to honor what National Coming Out Day is actually FOR, the only thing I could “come out” about is that I am bisexual. Telling people about my blog doesn’t count; trying to claim that my full-face photo in the Calendar counts would just be taking advantage of timing. Trying to claim that the fact that I am showing (albeit selectively) that photo on Twitter this weekend would be taking that term and turning it for my needs.
And so my truth is…..I’m doing nothing today. Nothing except supporting anybody else who might be taking it to heart and coming out to someone in their lives. The people in my life who do not know my sexual orientation are going to be kept in the dark. If they are friends, they are not “good friends” and they are also coworkers. By not “good friends” I mean that I don’t hang out with them much and I don’t divulge secrets. The remaining group of people is my family. My mom, my cousins varied and sundry. My mom seems to be just fine with the fact that her cousin, someone she’s close to, is gay and I don’t think she’d have a problem with that in an of itself. What she WOULD have a problem with is that my sexuality involves 2 genders, and I’m married to one of them. My mother would not understand or support anything but a monogamous relationship. Neither would my cousins. They are all very religious, very “Christian” and while I don’t think they would disown me….I just don’t think it is any of their business, really.
Is that allowed anymore? To say it’s not their business and I don’t want them to know?
I certainly don’t want to tell them about my blog – it contains too much private sexual information mixed in with the sex-positive educational stuff. In some ways I wish I could tell them. I’m proud of some of the things I’ve done, not just on this blog but for the community. This could lead me to doing things with other websites that are not sex-based; doing things as a full time job. How would I explain my knowledge, my experience to them? Ah well.
Anyways. Today isn’t about me as a blogger coming out. It’s not about my photo in the calendar and how it’s nothing you’ll ever see on this site, how I’ll never be able to show my face on this site. I could be wrong, but I feel like making this day about anything OTHER than sexuality and gender is trying to just twist something into suiting your needs. I feel like it’s an insult to all people, LGBTQ, that have indeed come out.
Disagree with me? Tell me why.
The following are some of the posts I’ve found today that ARE in line with what today is actually for.
NCOD: My Story
(I’ll link to more as I find them)