xo~Sadie

I made a comment elsewhere today that things have gotten so ugly – and not just with this recent EF drama, it’s been building for many months before this – that I probably wouldn’t be participating in the sexblogging community at all if it weren’t part of my job. And I probably wouldn’t. I would take a break, empty my feed reader and twitter accounts for awhile, and find my happy place.

I can’t do that, though. This community *is* part of my job. And maybe having to deal with it when I would otherwise retreat to my own little world is a good thing. I don’t really know.

But I do know that the ugliness is getting very old and I am not the least bit proud to say I’m part of this community some days.

Everyone wants to point a finger and say someone else is bad or wrong. Everyone wants to stand up on a sex positive pedestal. And yet everyone is behaving badly as if being mad at a company (or two, or three) gives them the right to be personally insulting and flat out mean to individuals — even those who have nothing to do with any of it.

How is this positive in any way, shape or form? How is it “okay”?

It’s all so hypocritical.

*sigh*

I’m babbling. I’ll shush. But thank you for speaking up and for doing so in a way that was kind and sensible, rather than finger pointingly snarky.

–Yes. Yes I have. And yes it hurt quite a lot. Which is why I agreed that you are correct: I should not have passed on that tweet.

Good on you.

~ Thanks, and glad to see a lurker saying hello!

If the intention was to help the writer and not just publicly humiliate them then contacting the writer privately is best. (An they may still not want your stinkin help and that’s their right.)

~ Like I said, there’s a difference in the snarks. Once it gets to be “personal” and outside the realm of private conversation, I feel that’s stepping over the lines. After all…..we don’t want to be like the comment trolls, right? Nobody’s perfect. Maybe we could all try to be a little more conscious of community ties though.

On the other hand, it was unnecessarily petty for me to call attention to it, and your post and comment were good reminders for me to be more charitable. I appreciate it.

~ Ok but have you had your *peers* in the sex blogging community do it? Call it out to others as “Hey wow look at this crap AAG is spewing, man she sucks, go laugh at it and feel smug that you can do better!” I would find that hard to believe. Yes, you write publicly and you will have detractors. That’s a given. But i’m not talking about comment trolls and random strangers. I just feel that within our community that we all feel is so positive, shouldn’t we extend courtesy and help but not snark and snarl? And of course there’s also the differences in this situation and others between intentional and unintentional.

~ I hate confrontation too. Some love it. Some are born debaters. To me, some people are coming off with the attitude of “I’m saying what I want and I don’t care if your feelings are hurt by it, toughen up buttercup” or something. That seems unnecessarily callous, personally.