May 202010

A lot of people are asking me where I stand on the current Edenfantasys drama and blowouts. And rightfully so. They’re currently the only company I review for; the only company I direct people to for purchasing; and I allowed EdenCafe to participate in e[lust]. As a blogger, a reviewer and the editor of e[lust], I have decisions to make.

And the only things I can tell you are this:

1. I do know that the EF link issues are weird. I know that when I tried to search back in google-cache for a since-changed copy of something on Edencafe about a month ago, I couldn’t find it. It was like google just wasn’t indexing it given my search terms.

2. I also know that while the code for e[lust] was altered for Edencafe, it doesn’t appear to have the weird javascript linking issues that Maymay talked about. I specifically asked him to look at it. However, a couple people have spoken up to me and have hinted that they won’t participate in e[lust] if Edencafe is allowed to participate past this. Just hinted though. No one has been bold enough to say it outright.

3. EF is banning forum contributors like there’s a plague lockdown. I’ve not been extremely vocal there, but I still screen-capped my affiliate earnings….just in case.

4. While I can agree that something is wrong here, I haven’t been personally wronged -that I know of- and so I’m not to the level of fury as the bloggers who’ve been wronged. However angry and wronged they are though….I don’t appreciated being bullied into dropping all ties like a hot potato. While the money I get from affiliate sales and such isn’t “huge” it’s something that would make an obvious dent in my finances should I lose it. I never have had affiliate commissions from any other place like I do from EF, because all the other sites I reviewed for were frankly either a lesser site, or more expensive. For those that would like to continue to crucify me for not joining their picket line……you all wanna chip into the kitty and make up what I’ll be losing a month? No? I didn’t think so.

5. I do not like what they did to Epiphora, how it was handled, or how other forum people are now being banned left and right for speaking dissenting opinions. It’s shady and fishy.

I am still forming an opinion. I am reading the blog posts of others and taking everything with a grain of salt. But I don’t have the luxury of burning bridges with the snap of my fingers, so I need to make an informed and well-thought-out decision.

My confidence in the company has been shaken. I am now suspicious. I was guarded, before. But now I’m suspicious.

I do still have reviews to do for them, and I will at the least be fulfilling those obligations. I’ve been so swamped in life that I’ve gotten horribly behind on my reviews.

It seems that while my action of not forming a steadfast opinion just yet isn’t popular and will likely make me some enemies out of bloggers I previously viewed as friends, I’m not the only one. Rayne is feeling the same. And as she said: “Let’s get this out in the open, first thing: I am a firm believer in there being three sides to every story.  Yours, mine and the truth.”

At least if any of my fellow bloggers are going to crucify me behind my back, at least have the guts to stand up and do it to my face. Comment here, go for it. I might join the strike against EF, and I might not. I. Don’t. Know. Yet. And that’s…….that.

 Posted by at 11:43 pm
  • Backseat Boohoo

    “I’ve been so swamped in life that I’ve gotten horribly behind on my reviews.”

    ^ This, for sure. Real life is eating me.

  • I have had nothing to do with EF for two years. I said my piece then, and I am sticking by it. HOWEVER!!! I am done with them for MY OWN reasons, NOT because of someone else or how vocal they got about their treatment. Just because someone gets loud about something doesn’t mean there aren’t two (or three) sides to the story. I’m not a big fan of teabagger-level fanaticism. You have every right to make up your own mind and do what you feel is best FOR. YOU. The sex blogging so-called community has no right to dictate what its “members” do or who they do business with. That is just as unethical as the shit their boycotted companies do. Harping on about the same issues day after day after day while doing nothing of use and getting so wrapped up in negativity that it’s virtually impossible for anyone to read any of it without getting an instant headache – well, yeah, not something I would want to follow. And this is why it’s important to have the SPACE to make your own decisions and the freedom within the so-called community to do so without being shunned or harassed for it.

    Whoops. I rambled. Sorry ’bout that. Just that I’m sick of the drama.

    ~ “Harping on about the same issues day after day after day while doing nothing of use and getting so wrapped up in negativity that it’s virtually impossible for anyone to read any of it without getting an instant headache”
    I have to agree with you. Right, wrong or indifferent, I was sick of the harping before this. And you do have a good point, how we shouldn’t be turning on each other. To read this: “And thus, I’ve got to wonder about people who continue to work closely with them. I don’t understand such people and they make me nervous. And so, as a rule, I don’t link to them, either.” or this: “Anyone that can possibly support the way they’ve treated their contributors, along with this unethical behavior, is unethical themselves.” Makes me a little bit angry.

  • Just to touch on the things I know…

    I copy and paste the e[lust] code directly from the WP doc you send every week and EC runs on wordpress. Links are done the way WP does them for everyone. Anything that may seem altered would have to be done so by the theme we use, if anything, because I am the only one who edits posts there and I have never edited a single thing from the e[lust} document I’m sent.

    We did change the permalink format about three months ago to take the date out – changing links from including the date to being only the title of the post so searching for something that doesn’t come up may have something to do with that. Nothing has been deleted, to my knowledge, ever.

    Also, no one but Epiphora (and that dude months ago) has been banned. Accounts have been temporarily disabled for a cooling down period – many of them because they’ve already taken down reviews and removed content.

    And now I will shush.

    I try, very hard, not to get overly involved in all this because I am a part of both sides. I hope whatever decision you make is the right one for you and only you, no matter what that decision may be.

    ~ THis is what I was referring to with EC/elust:
    > < a > o nclick=”javascr ipt:pageTracker._trackPageview(‘/outgoing/butchfemmebd
    > href=”http://butchfemmebdsm. blogspot .com/2010/05/hot-afternoon.html”
    > target=”_blank”> A Hot Afternoon< / a >

  • Darling Dove

    There’s nothing wrong with taking time to make your mind up, and I’m sorry if people are pressuring you.
    I think you should take time to organize your thoughts and collect yourself and make the decision that is best for you. This was what I decided to do upon Epiphora’s banning, but I was blocked today for speaking out against the rampant and insane censorship regarding the linking event on their forums- (I had two threads and a post deleted… before anyone could even read them, even myself! ) and I have decided that although I want to be unbanned for records purposes, I’m not going to have anything to do with them from now on.

    My decision is not your decision. It wasnt a decision I wanted to make and I feel as though, by treating me like a child and ‘grounding’ me for a week, they forced my hand- and if they do not unban me (since another blogger has been banned for things she said OFFSITE, on twitter, I feel this is likely- I blogged about the incident) it will be the final nail in the coffin. At the very least, if they held up their part of the deal, I’d probably check in periodically. But when banned, you can’t even login and see your records, or get your commissions data, etc.

    So, take your time, and make your decision. But please be very careful about what you say offsite if ANYONE related to EF follows you. They ARE banning for it, in an attempt to ‘cool things down’ even outside their arena.

    ~ I am aware of that, and I’m not pointing fingers or getting on a soapbox just yet. If they do? Fine. Fuck it. It’s not like I was that active in the forums to begin with. I’ll deal with it if it happens to me.

  • I don’t give a shit how unpopular my opinion was or wasn’t on the EF forums I made it very clear and simple. I won’t be bullied into taking sides in the blogging community I will make my own decisions and say again pretty much what I said there.

    They are a business, if they felt a member was being detrimental to the way they run their business then that’s their choice. I don’t think however bloggers creating a freekin insane storm and telling people to choose sides is okay. We are all grown ups. I have never had any issues with EF, I like the people I work with, those that have had issues in the past have their own grievances but they are NOT mine.

    In Epiphora’s case and this is where I might be unpopular, I have always found her posts to be harsh and sometimes in light of the community atmosphere there, for want of a better word, confrontational at times and not in a good way. The crux of the matter is she was a representative of that company. They made their own choices.

    But hey I am one person, I don’t run that company, the manner in which it was done perhaps could have been dealt with in a better manner with clear communication and perhapsvarious other ways of dealing with the matter in a positive manner than it was.

    One word, bloggers don’t get on bandwagons and start bullying people into taking sides. It’s bullshit. Everyone is an adult and capable of making their own decisions as to how they will deal with issues. It is never black and white, there are always grey areas.

  • Britni TheVadgeWig

    CA, I never took down reviews or removed content.

    ~ Don’t turn this into a debate with others in comments. It’s disrespectful. It’s late, and I’m emotional, and I’m irritated.

  • Britni TheVadgeWig

    I apologize. I was under the misguided impression that comments sections were for discussion. I’ll kindly step away now.

    ~ Nice snark, there. Your comment was directly to CarrieAnn, defending that *you* didn’t take down reviews on content. Nowhere in her comment did she say “Britni and so-and-so and blah-blah removed this and that”. She wasn’t even referring to you, yet you have to stir the pot and try to turn it that way. That’s what I’m referring to.

  • It looks like the thing with EC’s code is just a way to track links:

  • hubman

    I haven’t made up my mind about EF and whether I’ll continue to associate with them or not either. I’ll wait until the shitstorm (hopefully) dies down, sleep on it and see how I feel. As in most cases, there’s EFs side of the story, the “offended” bloggers as a group) side of the story and somewhere in between lies the truth.

    Though I’m not surprised at all that some people are whining excessively…

  • Jake Holden

    I’m not going to be avoiding them, unless they delete my aff account or something equally annoying. A few of my posts on the forums have been deleted, which is disrespectful but still.

    Ultimately this how link fiasco just boils down to people being annoyed that Google can’t crawl EF’s outgoing links and award Page Rank to the outgoing pages for being linked to from a big site. There’s also the issue of how this sort of behaviour goes against the image that EF likes to foster of running an open, respectful community – but as I don’t review for them or post on their forums I’m not too worried about that.

    It’s poor non-semantic web markup and a very odd system that they’re using, but I’m not convinced it’s malicious. Niche blog communities like the sex blogging community just seem to like to get up in arms about things every now and then.

  • A reasonable, rational, logical response to the issue? That won’t do at all, Ms. Lilly. We need some hyperbole and hypocrisy NOW, dammit!

    (And just for anybody who can’t take a joke, I fully admit I’m as guilty of hyperbole and hypocrisy as anybody else – arguably more so, from the number of times I have to apologize for it!)

    In all seriousness, Lilly – great post and a bit of a ‘grow the fuck up’ wake up call to a lot of us, myself included.

  • Hey Lilly…just wanted to throw out my 2 cents worth of support for you in writing a thoughtful, measured post. It’s only worth 2 cents because I have deliberately stayed uninvolved with the debate and hullabaloo going on (part of my “no drama” policy). I have no personal grudge or grievance against EF, but then I am not active in the forums, don’t do affiliate links and don’t do reviews, so I have no experience with them. All I do is write my little pieces on EC, and I am very happy to do that.

    That said, everyone has the right to make their own decisions, for whatever reasons they choose. But bullying someone is NEVER okay.

    Good on you for taking the time you need to think it all out and make a choice that is right for YOU.


  • I’ll say publicly to you what I’ve said privately to many, many people who write for or otherwise work for EF:

    Money is money and especially in times like these it’s hard to give up a job that brings in cash. I do not hold it against anyone who chooses to continue an affiliate with EF. You have to do what will put food on your table.

    That being said, have a back-up plan. Know how to get out of EF with as little damage as possible when your relationship with them starts to go sideways.

    In short, take your money but be smart about leaving. This is the mistake I made and I hate to see anyone make the same one.

  • Other than saying a few times that I’m glad I decided not to get involved with EF, and that I disagree (and look down on) some of *the company’s* business practices, I’ve opted not to berate individuals – this includes employees of EF. I recommend everyone see the documentary “The Corporation” for the concept that companies become an entity themselves. I’m sure that people who have had great experiences with the company have interacted with individuals who are good people. However there’s definitely issues with how EF as an entity does business. But as you point out, Lilly, people have their own situations and own decisions to make. I certainly won’t be dumping any of my friends for choosing to work with EF. I made the decision that’s right for me, you need to make yours.