Apr 14, 2010

The Bitch is Back

Man if THAT isn’t an over-used “off of hiatus” post title, I don’t know what is.

You know what’s funny? As in downright hysterically fucking ironic?

I put myself on a forced break and suddenly the fuckin posts just come POURING out of me. Srsly. I have a shit ton all queued up. It’s nice and all but…

WTF?

I go on my break starting Tuesday morning, and by Wednesday I’m writing. But no, I’m on hiatus, and I’m not the sort to say I’m going on a break just to grab some attention and poor-babies; no I was on break and fuckin stayin away from y’all.

No offense.

Seriously.

Actually my faithful readers/commenters are the few I wasn’t hiding out from. I was hiding from myself, from my snark and misdemeanors, my lack of patience and tolerance for immaturity and nonsense and lemme tell ya….there’s a lot of that on the interwebz. It’s a disease, I tell ya. Tuesday evening I had to forcibly remove Tweetdeck from my computer, fully uninstall it, so that I wasn’t tempted to see what others were up to because every time I did I got pissed off all over again. Immaturity. Tantrums. Entitlement. Seeing people kiss asses that I know shouldn’t be kissed, that if they knew what I know….but it’s not my place and it’s not a big enough deal anymore to waste my time caring. I’m just going to keep on doing my thing, being me, and that’s good enough. Every time I thought I might be over my cranky spell, I’d log into Twitter or read some pompous blowhard’s blog post and just get ticked off all over again. Until I was finally able to breathe and have my emotions under control, the hiatus was necessary.

On a related note, the return-from-hiatus brings with it some changes to my blog. I won’t be participating in HNT anymore, in any fashion. I will still occasionally post those sorts of photos of myself, but I think I’m going to call it Wicked Wanton Wednesday…..if any other harlots who wanna show sexy skin care to make it something real, maybe it’ll become more than just Lilly being silly. If you wanna do WW with me, well, I have no rules. If you want to use the button I threw together and link to me I guess that’ll do but I don’t think many will join me for now.

I will still be visiting the posts of HNT participants partly because it goes along with my job as editor of e[lust].

Other changes are going to be some more regularity, as much as this ADD chick can muster up. More “Ask Lilly” sex toy columns on a certain day of the (every other) week; Something new called ‘Tales from the Parking Garage’ which you’ll hear about soon; and other shit I haven’t decided on yet.

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com

Apr 5, 2010

Posted by Lilly | 18 Comments

Depression and blogging

This blog is a sad and sorry state of affairs. It really is, lately. My writings have suffered and I haven’t figured out why, exactly.

Until I’m too deep in it to come out.

I do not suffer from clinical depression. I do not have a serotonin disorder. However, when any chemical imbalance is left go for too long, it can start looking like something else. I’ve seen untreated dopamine disorders (ADD, for example, like myself) manifest as severe anxiety or depression. Treating the anxiety/depression with mental health meds for those disorders doesn’t help. You have to treat the underlying cause (which is why my husband went so long with improper treatment).

My issue is still tht I can’t find a decent doctor that’s covered under my insurance and local. There’s very few here taking new patients, and I discovered that driving 30 minutes to a doctor’s appointment IS a big enough hassle to warrant not doing it. My last 2 docs overmedicated me. So I’ve been off everything and for awhile there I was doing ok.

Now though?

Not ok. Frankly, I’m depressed as shit right now and can give no decent reason. Sure, hub’s out of a job but we’re not destitute. I had a nice trip to NYC and going to Seattle end of this month. We’ve got medical bills for me that we’re whittling away at but I’m soon going to be paying most of them off with a sidejob I just did. No, I’m not getting any web design work but it’ll come eventually. My blog might suck ass right now but e[lust] and the co-op are going well. I truly hate my 9-5 job though and dislike many of the people in my office. I wish I didn’t have to come here. But I’m the only source of health insurance, and there’s a hiring freeze on so I can’t move elsewhere within the “company” to at least get out of this particular section. I’m having pain issues, again. Memory/brain issues again. My bff is too busy at his job right now and he’s barely around so I miss him.

I have friends.
I have a good husband.
I have nice cats.
I HAVE a job and health insurance, even if I hate it all.

Sadly, brain chemical levels don’t give a flying shit about what’s going on in your life and that you “should” or “should not” be depressed/anxious/manic. There is no “buck up, soldier, it’ll be ok tomorrow”. It’s just wonky chemicals and I know this but finding a doctor is such a goddamn huge hassle, plus I feel like I should have my outstanding bills paid before I add more to the pile, yanno?

So yeah. This isn’t much of a sex blog lately, and I’m sorry for that.

But sometimes…..ya just gotta squeeze out whatever’s in there, validity or relevancy be damned.

What do YOU do when you’re not feeling your normal sexy-blogger-self? Do you just write for the sake of writing and figure the sex part will get back on track soon? Or do you go dark and quit altogether for a temporary respite?

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com

Apr 3, 2010

Posted by Lilly | 5 Comments

I need a new highway

A fresh start, a new view, some new influences.

A new muse.

A new flirt.

How can you help? Easy. Take a look at my blogroll down there, and recommend a good sexy blogger that I don’t currently read. While that blogroll doesn’t encompass everyone I read, it’s 80% of them.

I’m also looking for someone to co-author a few erotica pieces with, for the fun of it. Take a look at what I write, my style and see if you think we could mesh well in writing.

Is there any topic you’d like to see me talk about here? Something you’re curious about in my world or something you’d like my take on? As always, I welcome the chance to help you shop for sex toys so there’s always that (email me on that one).

I’m feeling the itch to create some visual goodness, so if you know of anyone who needs a blog makeover or just some new banners, send em to me. I probably charge less than I should, but that’s how I am. Here’s what I’ve done so far.

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com

Apr 1, 2010

Posted by Lilly | 3 Comments

Fleshbot’s New Feature: Yay or Nay?

The other day I found that Fleshbot, previous home of the traffic-boosting Sex Blog Round-Up, is getting bloggers to agree to letting them re-post content. Specifically, YOU write a post and it’s published on your blog. Fleshbot comes along and says “oh! I just lurve it! You gets lots of wunnerful traffic if you let me re-post the whole thing on Fleshbot!”. Your link is at the end of the post; Fleshbot is getting free content that fills up their site (they paid the people who did the Sex Blog Round-Ups so it’s a big $$ saver to them); you get empty traffic for a few days.

Sure, Fleshbot traffic was nice for the numbers, but I never received a comment from a FB reader.

We were discussing this all yesterday at the Sex Blogger Co-Op and Jake (such a smart young man) made these wonderful points:

- It’s my content, it belongs on my site, that’s just what feels natural.
– It goes against the ethos of linking to blogs so that readers can discover new blogs to subscribe to. I’m not going to get any new readers or RSS subscribers by having my content lifted and put on someone else’s site.
– If it’s on their site, it’s surrounded by their adverts and making FB money, not making little me money from the ads on my site.

We’re bloggers – we’re attention whores to some degree, every one of us. So yeah some are going to be blinded by the compliments and promises of traffic but just keep in mind that in the end….Fleshbot wins, not you.

The House always wins.

(pssst: some happy news where YOU win! Edenfantasys put the holy grail sex toy, The Pure Wand, on sale for Thursday only at $75, free shipping! Or if you always wanted a Pure Plug they’re on sale too!)

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com