Am I fixated on things simply because I cannot have them?

I have found that in the last year or so, I’m not much interested in most men. It takes a *lot* for me to have an interest in a man (perhaps because I’m still comparing, and most are still falling short). Even then, that interest seems to want to stay firmly online. Oh sure my cunt might have some opinions and want to sate the need but then we will both just get disappointed because casual sex is just not satisfactory to me or my cunt.

In porn, both video and photo, I have little interest in the men. It’s the women who get my full attention, who arouse me. I seek them out. I flick past hetero couplings, bored. Blow jobs? Meh. Oh wait, close-up of her pussy? Her coming? Ok I’ll watch now. The only thing that interests me would be group encounters because I think that’s hot and I haven’t had much of it.

Oh and I do not like “porn” porn. I like homemade “amateur” porn. I don’t want paid actors even if it’s the alt/indie stuff and the orgasms are real. No I want the stuff that makes me feel like a fly on the wall. Female solos I love. Girly sex looooove. Exhibitionism/outdoor sex I love even if it is hetero, bc that’s my kink.

On one of my amateur pic sites I came across a link to something called Dare Dorm. It’s this site where college kids are urged to send in their sex tapes for a chance to win like 10 grand. That’s a fuck of a lot of beer and weed money, my friends. Now, granted, you’re going to get some annoying stereotypes. But there’s also some gems of true hedonism. Some tentative “for the camera” girl-on-girl that soon turns to “the real thing”. In one, the foreground girl couple are decent and one’s fucking the other (albeit a little blandly) with a glass dildo but it’s the background girl couple that put me over the edge……they’re lounging back there just watching their two friends get it on, watching the girl climbing to orgasm and their arousal takes them to each other. You can see both the foreground girls and the background. The background girls start out with some kisses and progress to more.

Where the fuck were girls like this when *I* was in college?!?!?! I knew I shoulda stuck around longer and gone against my better judgment to join a sorority *sigh*

In another video, my favorite actually, a drunken “suds rave” (mini, like 8 people) turns to kinda-sorta-orgy. In the bunkbed you’ve got couple A going at it the whole time on the bottom bed while couples B and C shake the bed from the top. It’s the top bunk who I loved watching because of the one girl. Sadly she left her clothes on the whole time, just shoved them around instead, I really wanted to see her fully naked. Yum….

She’s vocal and passionate and the action started with the other chick going to town on her tits. yum yum yum oh yes. Brown haired chick’s orgasmic moans were what made me come eventually (fingers! just fingers!) watching her get it from a guy and a girl. I can’t wait to tag-team someone like that, know they’re being stimulated from every possible angle. Well technically I can’t wait to just devour a woman, period. It’s been too long and I need to do it properly.

Related posts:

1. Confessional: Oral Fixation
2. Sin City and the Silver Screen
3. My lust-obsession: Tori Black and FuckingMachines.com
4. Confessional: Breaking the Girl