Apr 292010

Be it from uninformed talk or uneducated fear, or both, I know I’ve read in many places that consistent use of a vibrator on your clit will make it harder for you to orgasm without a vibrator. I can list just such a place but Epiphora already wrote a beautiful rant, and I don’t want to link to the asshole’s website any more than as little as necessary.

When you’re using the big bad vibrators like the Wahl and the Hitachi, the likes of which no human could match, I did fear there for awhile that sure I’d discovered a way to finally and reliably (usually) get off but that I could be sacrificing any chances at ever getting off WITHOUT the vibrators. Of course, I hoarded the vibrators -because- it was rare for me to orgasm without them. But it was ok; my hub was fine with it and accepted it. Casual encounters suffered (because I didn’t bring my vibe to a hook-up, lol) but then they usually did when it came to my orgasm.

the past

When I finally learned enough about my own body to know what I should be doing to achieve orgasm (many years later in life than most), I couldn’t manage it with just fingers 9 times out of 10. Partners could do it, but it was just about as rare. Now that I know more about my body, how my cunt behaves after orgasm and so on I’m actually pretty sure that I *was* having clitoral orgasms back then. It wasn’t often and it wasn’t earth-shattering (obviously, because I wasn’t even aware that I was orgasming) but it did happen. I know I enjoyed sex thoroughly and was long-since having g-spot orgasms during sex with my now-husband. But it wasn’t until I got a vibrator (or electric toothbrush) in my hands that I had an actual, pulsating, no-doubt clitoral orgasm. And then? I was addicted. Forever searching for new and improved vibrators. Why do you think I got into reviewing? ;)

the recent past

Vibrators or not, I wasn’t quick to orgasm for the first year or two until I got the bigger vibrators. It took time, more time than I sometimes cared to devote. Fingers got me close….but I either wasn’t capable of going over the edge or I just gave up too soon. I could have counted on one hand the number of times I’d had a clitoral orgasm with no vibrator involved. And I can most definitely tell you that the times it occurred that way didn’t see me as worked up as I’ve gotten while at work. But yet I was never able to come at work  without the aide of a vibrator…..sometimes even then it eluded me.Desperation to come, or not, I was completely unable to ever orgasm at work if the batteries died.

present day

Last month, I had my *second ever* clitoral orgasm from oral sex to the utter shock and glee of mostly me but my hub, too. A few months ago, I came with my silver bullet barely touching my clit….I wasn’t even trying, but boy I was sure watching an arousing scene!

Recently I experienced a new first. TWO orgasms achieved with nothing more than my finger on my clit; two in the same evening, without g-spot stimulation (which had been necessary in the past); two before my fingers/hands/wrists even had time to get tired and sore. The first one I actually had to purposely hold back on. I was watching porn, at the time. Not real porn, no I prefer amateur stuff that’s “we’ve forgotten or don’t know there’s a camera there” type as you well know. Point is…..two somewhat-easy orgasms with no vibrators!! Woohoo! And then a week later? It happened again! Not consistently but that’s to be expected.


Haven’t I been assaulting it now for months and months with vibrators that would make some women back away in fear?

I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth, though. I’m going to continue my non-vibrator research. Oh you betcha!

Apr 232010

Ana’s challenge all semester has been her professor. To break his will. Make him break his rules. She’s sneaky about it, too. Today when she walked into the classroom, her skirt wasn’t quite that short. She lulled him into a sense of security, she let him see her come through the door in a fairly modest mid-thigh pleated skirt. She knew better and knew he wouldn’t allow her up at the chalkboard wearing something slutty, something tempting. So when he wasn’t looking she rolled up the waistband of her skirt to just the right (practiced) length. Just enough to show the tops of her thigh-highs….enough to show off her panties in the right circumstance.

When she spun around after finishing the equation, she caught him staring and blushing.

And as the class let out 15 minutes later…..

“Ana, may I speak with you please? Meet me in my office. Now.”

See who else is playing….

Apr 222010

Am I fixated on things simply because I cannot have them?

I have found that in the last year or so, I’m not much interested in most men. It takes a *lot* for me to have an interest in a man (perhaps because I’m still comparing, and most are still falling short). Even then, that interest seems to want to stay firmly online. Oh sure my cunt might have some opinions and want to sate the need but then we will both just get disappointed because casual sex is just not satisfactory to me or my cunt.

In porn, both video and photo, I have little interest in the men. It’s the women who get my full attention, who arouse me. I seek them out. I flick past hetero couplings, bored. Blow jobs? Meh. Oh wait, close-up of her pussy? Her coming? Ok I’ll watch now. The only thing that interests me would be group encounters because I think that’s hot and I haven’t had much of it.

Oh and I do not like “porn” porn. I like homemade “amateur” porn. I don’t want paid actors even if it’s the alt/indie stuff and the orgasms are real. No I want the stuff that makes me feel like a fly on the wall. Female solos I love. Girly sex looooove. Exhibitionism/outdoor sex I love even if it is hetero, bc that’s my kink.

On one of my amateur pic sites I came across a link to something called Dare Dorm. It’s this site where college kids are urged to send in their sex tapes for a chance to win like 10 grand. That’s a fuck of a lot of beer and weed money, my friends. Now, granted, you’re going to get some annoying stereotypes. But there’s also some gems of true hedonism. Some tentative “for the camera” girl-on-girl that soon turns to “the real thing”. In one, the foreground girl couple are decent and one’s fucking the other (albeit a little blandly) with a glass dildo but it’s the background girl couple that put me over the edge……they’re lounging back there just watching their two friends get it on, watching the girl climbing to orgasm and their arousal takes them to each other. You can see both the foreground girls and the background. The background girls start out with some kisses and progress to more.

Where the fuck were girls like this when *I* was in college?!?!?! I knew I shoulda stuck around longer and gone against my better judgment to join a sorority *sigh*

In another video, my favorite actually, a drunken “suds rave” (mini, like 8 people) turns to kinda-sorta-orgy. In the bunkbed you’ve got couple A going at it the whole time on the bottom bed while couples B and C shake the bed from the top. It’s the top bunk who I loved watching because of the one girl. Sadly she left her clothes on the whole time, just shoved them around instead, I really wanted to see her fully naked. Yum….

She’s vocal and passionate and the action started with the other chick going to town on her tits. yum yum yum oh yes. Brown haired chick’s orgasmic moans were what made me come eventually (fingers! just fingers!) watching her get it from a guy and a girl. I can’t wait to tag-team someone like that, know they’re being stimulated from every possible angle. Well technically I can’t wait to just devour a woman, period. It’s been too long and I need to do it properly.

Apr 202010

The flirting has been coming back in bits and pieces; odd occurrences and mostly lighthearted. Some improper things said, things we used to say, and then 5 minutes later it’s back to talking about whatever.

I don’t know why it’s back.

He is the one who put the ban on this side of the friendship, last year.

I tried very hard to stop thinking about him that way for many months. I wouldn’t let myself. It worked for a number of months though, I kept it at bay. And then the first time of falling off the wagon together I tried to quickly push it away. “Shouldn’t do that”. Teasing here, inappropriate innuendo there.

But every now and then I give in for a few minutes with him. I guess he’s giving in, too. Occasionally he’ll get Toppy with me and that affects me even more. He knows it. But we shouldn’t do this. But I think we can’t help it, given the infectious grins that spread on our faces for the few minutes.

And it always starts off so inconspicuously. Innocent, like the sort of teasing that might occur now and then between any other pair of friends who share a hint of attraction to each other. But the problem with us is the history, the knowing how to push each others buttons. We shouldn’t. But it’s hard to resist. It’s an ego stroke, I guess. It feels good in more than one way.

It always shocks me how quickly an off-hand, innocent “joking” remark can turn into something that makes me squirm. Last week it was bratty banter and a “shut up or I’ll whip you” which, in text, is harmless. Harmless, except for how badly I still want him to actually do it. Before I could catch myself I said something to the effect of “front or back?” and the mental image of him wielding a flogger or his hand to my naked ass and then my bare cunt was just too much for me to handle. He knew it was getting to me; and I told him so. When he gave me an order (half-joking?) it would have been so easy for me to give in and answer with nothing more than the “Yes, sir” that wanted to fall off my tongue. I shouldn’t, I knew it. He tried again and it took all of my self control to stay my course.

Of course, where did I find myself hours later?

Egging him on. Giving in, subtly. Telling myself, telling him (but not outloud) to go there again and I’ll follow. Thankfully (I guess) he didn’t take the bait. Either I was too subtle or the “shouldn’t”s took control for him again or he was merely too deeply embroiled in work drama whereas first thing in the morning he’s still in transition. A minor rebuff, a reality check for me. Just as well……….

Apr 182010

So the other week I wake up to an email notification in my inbox from the kinky social networking site I belong to. I’m not very active there, so I don’t get a lot of messages. I’ve had a few recently……dominant men who make me snarl and snap, but they’re not worth mentioning. Everybody gets those sort.

But this morning in question I was fresh into my self-imposed hiatus and easily irritated. When I read the message in my email I had no clue who the sender was other than their name but could see that the subject line was “hi honey” and the message was merely: “nice titties sexy girl”. I logged into the site with guns a’blazin’ and was all ready to fire off a “fuck you” email for the offensive and assumptive content (I told you I was feeling cranky and pissy! I’d normally brush it off)

but wait.

It’s not from a guy…..

And suddenly, I was stopped. My first reaction was “hey that’s kinda…..hot”. She appears to be a little butch but she’s in a relationship with a guy and her look isn’t “butch” just “metal/punk/raaaa” tryin to be a hard ass. Her profile though comes across very butch and gruff and Toppy and a few lines in it lead me to believe that anything I might do with her I can expect him to be involved and neither one of them appealed to me quite enough to get involved in a dual-topping session from them.

Mostly importantly though was that lingering word that I hate.


I hate it. It sounds like a word used to describe an animal, like a cow’s teets or a dog’s. Which therefore leads me to imagining it coming out of a uneducated redneck-drawled mouth and…….no. Just….no.

Tits is fine. Boobs is fine. But yet I also cringe at “boobies” unless its coming from a kid. The word “boobies” seems juvenile to me. Whether it comes from a man or woman, it just feels asexual. It’s a word that if said during dirty talk would feel like a bucket of cold water.

Of course my skeptical brain then sat there and thought about it and then wondered if that message did, in fact, come from HER. Was it maybe him controlling both accounts? Or just him logging in to her account on a whim? They are local, and if I cared enough I could figure out if she’s actually behind it. But despite a deep craving recently for girly sex or group sex, the intrigue just isn’t there enough for me to take the risk in trying.

Saving Women’s Studies At UNLV – Please Help

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Apr 172010

My friend Diva alerted me to something yesterday, and I wanted to share this because I think it’s important. Read on and please take a moment to send an email to UNLV’s President, Neal Smatresk, to voice your support for Women’s Studies at UNLV. From her post:

I was dismayed when I received this note from my friend Lynn last week and I am asking for your help. If you are a blogger please repost this note and ask other bloggers to also post it. If you’re not a blogger please take a moment to write the UNLV president and voice your support for Women’s Studies at UNLV. The monetary savings if $300,000 in reality is a small amount in the budget and cost of what we all lose when departments such as this are cut is so much higher.

April 11, 2010

Dear Friends and Colleagues:

As many of you are aware, Nevada has been hit especially hard by the economic downturn. Revenue from gaming and tourism – the two biggest sources of state revenue – is down by double digits; Nevada ranks number one in the country for foreclosures; and unemployment in Clark County, as of February 2010, hovers at 13.9%. The effect of the recession on the Nevada System of Higher Education has been just as dire. Since I arrived on campus in Fall 2007, state funding for UNLV has been cut by over 30%. The latest round of budget cuts – which are certainly not the last – has forced the hand of the administration to initiate a university-wide program review geared toward “vertical cuts,” or the elimination of entire academic units.

UNLV’s Women’s Studies Department is one of eight academic units on the chopping block. Eliminating Women’s Studies would save UNLV less than $300,000. But the hidden costs would be immense and irreversible, especially to UNLV’s stated mission to “nurture equity, diversity, and inclusiveness.”

UNLV has no Ethnic Studies Department, so Women’s Studies does double and, at times, triple duty to fulfill the mandate of equipping students to navigate an increasingly diverse society and global economy. If the Women’s Studies Department is eliminated, non-tenured faculty, including myself and my colleague Dr. Anita Revilla – one of only two Chicana professors in the College of Liberal Arts – will lose our jobs.

I ask that you please take a moment to send an email to UNLV’s President, Neal Smatresk, to voice your support for Women’s Studies at UNLV. The administration needs to know that people all over the country, both within and outside academia, are watching what transpires at UNLV. (I have attached a “fact sheet” detailing what would be lost if UNLV?s Women’s Studies Department is eliminated.) Las Vegas – of all places – needs a heartbeat of feminism; and UNLV students and faculty deserve the benefits that come from a vibrant, intellectually engaged, and diverse Women’s Studies Department.

Thank you for your support – and please feel free to circulate this note.

Lynn Comella
Assistant Professor
Department of Women’s Studies
University of Nevada, Las Vegas


Why UNLV Needs Women’s Studies: Diversity and Inclusion

Eliminating Women’s Studies would save UNLV less than $300,000. But the hidden costs would be immense and irreversible, especially to UNLV’s mission to “nurture equity, diversity, and inclusiveness.”

Eliminating Women’s Studies would save UNLV less than $300,000

The current overall cost of the WS department is: $629,857

If WS were eliminated, UNLV would still have to pay salaries totaling: $339,000

By eliminating the department, UNLV would thus save only: $290,857

We Need Women’s Studies to Nurture a Diverse Student Body Equipped for a Global Economy

  • A 1998 Ford Foundation Survey found that almost 70% of American voters believe that “preparing people to function in a more diverse work force” and “in a more diverse society” are two of the top four goals of higher education.
  • Research shows that students who take diversity courses develop the “more tolerant racial and gender attitudes” key to success in a diverse society and global economy, with students enrolled in Women’s and Ethnic Studies courses showing the greatest gains.
  • At UNLV each year, at least 2,262 students fulfill their General Education diversity requirement by taking WS courses, a total of 11,624 students in just the past 5 years.
  • Among WS faculty who teach these courses is Dr. Anita Revilla – winner of 4 UNLV teaching awards and one of only 2 Chicana professors in the College of Liberal Arts. If WS is eliminated, Dr. Revilla will lose her job, and UNLV students will lose an excellent teacher.
  • Dr. Revilla and her WS colleagues founded and now mentor several organizations that represent and support underrepresented causes and students, including Hispanics (MEChA and UCIR), Asian Pacific Islanders (ROAR), students of color (Allied Students of Color, a group that is now inactive, but that helped create both UNLV’s Office for Diversity and Inclusion and the UNLV Multicultural Center), and female victims of violence (the Vagina Warriors, who stage yearly performances of The Vagina Monologues to raise both awareness and money for community organizations).
  • Though WS currently has only 26 majors, 88% of those students are women, 50% students of color, one of the highest proportions of any UNLV program or department.

We Need Women’s Studies to Nurture a Diverse and Representative Faculty

  • If WS is eliminated, UNLV will lose Drs. Lynn Comella and Anita Revilla, 2 female faculty members approaching tenure, including 1 of only 2 Chicanas in CoLA on the tenure-track.
  • UNLV will lose the only department on campus composed entirely of female faculty, half of whom are women of color.
  • In CoLA alone, 14 women faculty resigned between 2003 and 2009. 5 were women of color.
  • A 2009 Harvard survey of faculty from underrepresented minority groups across the nation found that “lack of diversity” ranked second only to “compensation” among the factors attracting them to, and encouraging them to stay, at a particular university.
  •  Posted by at 8:32 pm