Rape: Two sides to every story
The other week we were watching an episode of NCIS (shaddup) that was about many things but underneath it all the basis was that a girl had accused someone of rape many years ago, falsely. She let her mother and friends and eventually authorities believe for a long time that she had been raped.
I’ve seen it on plenty of fictional drama shows and nighttime news programs alike. Young girls who falsely accuse a male authority figure of rape just out of spite. Their professor snubbed their sex offer in exchange for a better grade? They cried rape. Even if/when the truth came out the accused had already had their life ruined. That night after watching NCIS I went and typed into Google something about girls falsely accusing rape, I don’t recall the exact keyword wording I used to lead me to this forum. Basically a question and answer type of place, where many people congregated. I can’t recall anymore exactly what her question was, but she was encouraged by the community to come clean about her false accusations. Her boyfriend, rightfully so, didn’t forgive her. He couldn’t be with someone who would lie about such a thing. The community, in between some chastising for lying about rape, was also commending her for coming clean.
That baffled me.
That girl should have never received an ounce of praise for coming clean for her destructive lie. Turns out she lied because the step-father was abusive to her mom or something (which, given her track record now of lying about big things, I have to doubt). There is NO. ACCEPTABLE. REASON. for lying about being raped. If you lie and come clean the only thing you should get is charges pressed against you in most cases. I have seen it happen on the news in the bigger cases where the accuser took the lie way too far (pressing charges, court, etc vs just telling a bf/mother/friends to get her way), but I bet the accusers are getting wrist slaps half of the time because they’re young. To wrongfully accuse someone of anything is shameful…… but rape? Come on.
Not only does a wrongful accusation ruin the career and reputation of the accused, it puts one more dent against valid rape claims in general. Every girl that lies about being raped gives the general public one more little bit of ammunition. “Girls cry rape if they thought the sex was bad”. “Girls cry rape if they fuck with someone they regret fucking”. Seriously? Yes, seriously. I’ve heard that. Girls who’ve been date-raped have also heard that.
I am very much in the camp of “whatever else surrounded it, you said NO and no means no. he shouldn’t have raped you, he was wrong.”. I will never tell a woman she deserved to be raped. Drunk at a frat party and walking around naked? Stupid, yes. Deserved it? No. But I am just as much in the camp against women who falsify rape claims. The lives they ruin. The credibility they destroy. Personally, I think that the charges for lying about a rape should be damn near as stringent as the charges for the rapist.
What do you think?