Feb 272010
 

The Jollies brand Thrust dildo is another in their typical style of oddly-shaped body-friendly dildos. Unlike the Jollie, Jollet and Rider though, the Thrust isn’t thick. While the other Jollies products I’ve tried were very firm sturdy toys, the Thrust is …. floppy. I can hold it by the finger handle and waggle it around like you wouldn’t believe. The silicone itself isn’t squishy or anything, just at the crux of the shape it’s….floppy. And I don’t know why.

I gotta be honest, I couldn’t get into this one. Trying to insert it (and I used lube for once) wasn’t exactly easy. It reminded me a lot of trying to insert a semi-hard penis. It’s the standard silicone that all Jollies toys are, which is a shiny sort of silicone that attracts even more dust/lint/fur than matte silicone. I requested this sex toy to review, from Edenfantasys, because of the largely positive reviews my peers have given it. Kristi and Carrie Ann both liked it. Everybody’s different, and my g-spot responds best to very firm pressure up into it. I couldn’t do that with the Thrust. Since it’s so floppy if I tried to pull up on the handle to give my g-spot more pressure, it just didn’t……well, it didn’t do much.

This Jollies dildo also has a handle with a hole for your finger. Just about the only part of the design on this that I can appreciate is that handle and how it’s curved to come back towards your clit. Dildos that stick straight out of me just don’t work. You could put a bullet in that finger hole instead and turn this into a dual stimulation toy. The upside I guess to the floppiness is that by pressing the handle part to your clit, the dildo part won’t go at a funny angle. If you’re using this with a partner and they want access to your clit, the floppiness means they can move that handle part easily without disturbing the dildo (like would happen with the Jollie)

If you think you’d like to try out this dildo, I suggest you get moving on it, pronto. I am very sad to say that Jollies, the company, is out of business. Jollies produced some really fucking innovative sex toy designs and it’s a shame to see them go. ETA: The company is reprieving itself and sticking around a little while longer! Yay!!

EdenFantasys still has the Thrust in stock as of this writing, in most colors. Many other Jollies brand toys are out of stock on the site, but my beloved Jollie is still there. On EF they listed them in two levels of density of the silicone, Firm and Soft. The one EF still has in stock is listed as the Soft but I don’t think it matters, the company technically did away with the varying densities long ago. It’s just your average silicone dildo, hefty but with a little bit of give.


Feb 242010
 

Living in an apartment complex means a reduced amount of privacy overall. Especially where the balcony is concerned. I’ve often wished for more privacy there, more seclusion, but sometimes the lack of it proves exciting. The apartment on the other side of us is a mirror image, and so our balconies share a wall – the 2-foot wide brick wall separates the balconies from building wall to railing and at least affords complete visual privacy from the balconies in one’s own building. But since we’re visible to 4 other buildings and a portion of the parking lot below, I don’t ever notice many people using their balconies in the warmer months.

We had a rogue very warm day in late fall, a few months ago, the lovely sort that occurs after leaves have fallen and bugs have started hibernation. Evening became night as I reclined on the balcony, reading, but I was so comfortable that I strained to continue reading with no more light than that coming from the sliding glass door behind my head. I heard the noisy, squeaky screen door open and shut on the other side of the brick wall but I paid no mind. I didn’t expect whoever it was to stay out there. But then I heard the muffled, hushed tones of a couple talking and laughing. I tried (of course) to eavesdrop but I couldn’t make anything out. I blocked it out until it changed – to mostly silence punctuated by a random giggle.

I lowered my book to my lap and focused on listening, trying to figure out what I was hearing.

Kissing sounds.

I heard their kissing become more passionate and insistent. Then I heard a giggle from her and a whisper of faux-indignation and what sounded like “someone will see us”. Voyeur interest officially piqued, I went about the task of getting myself from my lounger to the wall as silently as possible. I noticed a faint section of light being cast from their sliding glass door and I momentarily pondered if it was worth it to leave the apartment, sneak around back, and try to spy. I decided against it and instead I stood up against the wall, as close to the railing as I dared. I bit my lip when I heard a little moan from one of them.

A wave of disappointment crashed over me as I heard the squeak of their screen door – on second thought, that was quick….squeak…light off from inside the apartment…squeak again. No, instead of going inside, he just turned off the interior lights and said something to her about it being dark now. Apparently that quieted her fears because I heard the sounds of zippers and buckles and pants with laden pockets hitting the balcony deck.

More hushed giggles, more kissing sounds. A gasp followed immediately by a quiet, restrained moan. I had to make up the images in my head, try to picture what caused that gasp, who’s mouth was on what body part. Or was it even a mouth? Perhaps his fingers found purchase inside her hot, wet slit. Maybe the fingers were lingering above the waist and caressing her nipples, teasing, drawing it out. I decided it had to be the nipples in a teasing fashion because I would expect less restraint if he were rubbing her clit.

I barely realized that my own hand was lightly teasing my own nipple. My eyes were closed so that I could better concentrate on their sounds. Have you ever just listened to the sounds of sex? It’s not like porn, it’s not a caricature or obvious all the time. I stood and listened, trying to determine if the wet sounds were mouth-on-cock, fingers-in-really-wet-cunt, or cock-in-wet-cunt. Either visual was arousing but no, I wanted to try and be right. I strained to hear more; the heavy breathing was a deeper resonance, perhaps it was mouth-on-cock? My guess was confirmed when he gave it away with a “Fuck yes, baby, suck it harder”. I imagined his hands on her head, staring at the sight of her lips devouring his cock, relishing the feel of her warm tongue pressing against the underside.


…….to be continued…..




Feb 222010
 

So yesterday I told you about these evil crawler bots and how they’re able to silently corrupting blog files into oblivion if you don’t catch it soon enough.

Even if you do figure it out quickly, 98% of the time your files are already affected. Even if you remove the “bug” there’s still going to be some issues. Thing is though, unless you’re a programming geek, you’re not going to be able to manually pick out all the little bug poop bits from your files. What you need is a clean version of your blog.

Except….you don’t have it, do you.

No, you likely do not.

Some people that I’ve talked to use a WP plugin that creates an automatic backup of their database and it gets emailed to them. Ok, great. But guess what? It’s not enough.Some of you are gonna be all “WHAT database??? There’s a database??” cause I know I was.

Last week when dealing with SBC.com, we found that out. We also found out that SQL databases are tricky bitches. If you don’t know anything about backing up the database, when you do figure out how to do it manually you’re just going to let the default options go. Except those default options leave extraneous info that is actually bad; it confuses the restore (at least with GoDaddy). The default DB backup included “Create” lines and lines for the “information schema” which are essentially duplicate commands and duplicate commands are NOT friends with SQL. They made the restore attempts spit back errors at me like mad.

Let me back up. First of all, the problems with SBC are not ones that most of you will encounter when needing to rebuild your site. The reason being is that we didn’t have access to the domain files because they were under someone else’s account. The database, so we all thought, contains the posts and the comments and all that good stuff. So that’s all you need, right? A few Godaddy guys lead me to believe that. It’s  not the case. You need a whole shit ton of .php files that are running amok through your WP files. These .php files talk to the database and link everybody up.

There’s two ways to get these .php files.

1. If you have access to the hosting account, you can go into the file manager and copy everything to your hard drive.This is the more complicated way I guess, bc the next option just involves a few clicks and one file, however this method will also backup all your theme files, stylesheets if you’ve tweaked the theme, etc. But there might be an instance when this option is your only option.

2. You can go into the WordPress dashboard and do an Export. ” When you click the button below WordPress will create an XML file for you to save to your computer. This format, which we call WordPress eXtended RSS or WXR, will contain your posts, pages, comments, custom fields, categories, and tags. Once you’ve saved the download file, you can use the Import function on another WordPress blog to import this blog.” This option is simple. It saved everything except the tweaks I’d done to the stylesheet.css for the theme (since I had to re-upload the theme) and the contents of the widgets in the sidebar.

For 3 days, I couldn’t do either of these options. The moment Diva was told by GoDaddy that we hadn’t actually truly transferred the blog, they had her change something called the “nameservers”. The nameserver is what tells the site where to find its files. Once the nameserver was changed from pointing at Dreamhost to pointing at Godaddy…..buhbye blog as we knew it. Suddenly we were staring at a blank “baby” blog. No posts, no theme, no nuttin. Some asshat at GD said “well you can just go into the WP dashboard and export” um no, no we can’t, since the dashboard sees the baby blog, too. It’s not like we could go to another http site address and snag the files, that wasn’t the case. When we FINALLY after 37 attempts got the stupid database to restore properly we were gutted to find out that nothing had changed on the blog. But thank you, GoDaddy, for not explicitly telling us what would happen when we changed the nameservers and asking us if we had ALL the files backed up from the WP dashboard.

My final call to GoDaddy was at first hopeless; he informed me that we *needed* all those WP files, the database alone wouldn’t bring back the posts even if I could recreate the theme by myself. Then it occurred to me. Wait a minute. This all went to hell the moment we changed the nameservers. Couldn’t we change them BACK to pointing at Dreamhost, and I could go into the WP Dashboard and export, then change them back to pointing to GD and import? Well…..he’d never done that before, but he supposed I could.

And I could. It took a few hours from the time at which I changed the nameserver values until I was able to go into the WP dashboard and be accessing the correct version/location of the blog. Since I had to do this twice because my first g-round I didn’t realize I had to copy the contents of the widgets, the whole import process took about 24 hours.  And once I imported? *cue angels singing from heaven* The beautiful pretty blog! It was back! Everything was there! We all jumped around and were excited. A few quirks with some photos were fixed and all was well. (this folks, is a shining example of how sometimes my weird ADD odd way of thinking can actually be a help)

So. What’s the moral of this story, kids?

Backing up WordPress is necessary. Backing up the database is not as useful as you’d like to think. Don’t get me wrong, you should do it, but don’t count on it to be your saving grace if all else is lost. If you have nothing but the database, it’s like having cherries and flour and butter and sugar and whatnot but no recipe or equipment to turn it from ingredients to pie.

As I said yesterday, I didn’t have to worry about this backing up with e[lust] because GoDaddy backs up everything (they have a “snapshot” of your files for every day of the last 3 weeks I think). Every file, they have – except for the database, since it’s always in use it can’t be automatically backed up. Because my site was hacked, it wasn’t the posts that I needed to restore, it was the php files.

If You Have a Self-Hosted WordPress Blog (and you don’t have Godaddy as a host)

1. Like your theme? Have you made changes to the stylesheet at all? (if not you, then someone else?) Then you need to back up the stylesheet/phps because the WP export won’t do it all. When I imported the WP dashboard export, the theme didn’t follow along. And of course, you know me, I had made changes to the theme from the original.  Luckily though I had also manually copied the contents of the css and the php files from the theme editor over to text files. Some copy/pasting and we were visually pretty again.

2. As often as you can think to do it, manually perform the WP export from the dashboard. I tried looking for WP plugins that will automatically do this but there were either complicated as fuck or not compatible with the recent upgraded version of WP. Extra precautions would tell you to save these XML files someplace other than your harddrive, because you never know when that could die.**This export backup won’t save your sidebar/widget contents. If you’ve got a lot of text boxes filled with banners and links and fun stuff in the sidebar, you should do a copy/paste as I instructed for the theme files**

3. Add the plugin called “WP – DB – Backup”. Go to “Plugins” then “Add New” and then search for that one and click on “install”. Then activate and go to “Tools”, “Backup” to check off all the boxes (I left the “exclude post revisions” unchecked because who knows, I might need that) and tell it to email you the backup zip file. (don’t forget to schedule daily or weekly backups, depending on how often you put up a new post).

Now then, why am I telling you to do step 3 if step 2 saves the posts/comments that the DB saves but can’t “read” without the php files? Because at least step 3 is automatic and daily. Step 2 relies upon you remembering to do it. Even if your last WP backup was a month ago, you could still import that database backup and then go to your hosting provider (PHPMyAdmin control panel or similar) and restore yesterday’s DB, bringing your recent posts and comments back.

If You Have a Self-Hosted WordPress Blog (and you DO have GoDaddy as a host)

1. Like your theme? Have you made changes to the stylesheet at all? (if not you, then someone else?) Then you need to back up the stylesheet/phps because the WP export won’t do it all. When I imported the WP dashboard export, the theme didn’t follow along. And of course, you know me, I had made changes to the theme from the original.  Luckily though I had also manually copied the contents of the css and the php files from the theme editor over to text files. Some copy/pasting and we were visually pretty again.

3. Add the plugin called “WP – DB – Backup”. Go to “Plugins” then “Add New” and then search for that one and click on “install”. Then activate and go to “Tools”, “Backup” to check off all the boxes (I left the “exclude post revisions” unchecked because who knows, I might need that) and tell it to email you the backup zip file. (don’t forget to schedule daily or weekly backups, depending on how often you put up a new post).

Don’t worry about Step 2 unless you foresee yourself changing to another host. GD’s file snapshots will be there for you, ready to roll back to if something happens. You don’t have to pay extra for it, you don’t have to ask GD to do it for you. If you need to roll back, you log into your account, go to the hosting control panel and go to the File Manager. There’s two tabs there on the left. Current and History. If you were to click History you can see the files, and only one button is highlighted….”restore”. You’d just check off all the folders/files you need to have restored, and then click restore, and the roll back is complete. The only portion I’d recommend backing up on your own are the widgets, I don’t believe that there is any file in your directories that have the info of whats contained in the widgets. I need confirmation on this.

If You Have a WordPress Hosted Blog (i.e. http://yournamehere.wordpress.com)

You have one option. You do a WordPress Export via your dashboard as often as you can think of it. You can’t use plug-ins, and there’s no database to access. I read somewhere while searching for all this info that doing this Export won’t save your photos. But it did. When you go to Import, and you re-map the users (if you need to) there’s a section that says Import File Attachments and you have to check off that box. Voila, your photos appear.Again though your blogroll and sidebar widget contents aren’t saved in this. Manually copy them to a text file.

Understanding your Self-Hosted WordPress Blog’s Host Control Panel

Let’s say you have a self-hosted WP blog and you didn’t set things up yourself, you had help from a friend or fellow blogger. I don’t care who they are, you need to be able to rely on yourself to fix things should it all go to hell. You never know if one day you stop speaking to this person or they just simply aren’t available immediately to help you fix it. You need to learn how it works at the core level, which can be more complicated. But in the end, it’s worth it to be able to rely on yourself for bringing it all back up to speed. I know that there are companies now like Discreet Press who are taking advantage of the blogger who doesn’t want to have to deal with this stuff by charging a lot more than I’d ever pay by offering more than just hosting. They can do design, they can repair your site, etc. However in my opinion most of us bloggers can only afford the least expensive hosting plans. Which Godaddy DOES offer. And for the services they give you in comparison to other plain hosts (like Midphase) it’s a damn good deal. I don’t care how technically inept you might think you are right now you CAN learn the basic shit. I did. So many times over the last week and even just while writing this post I had these Algebra Class moments. I can’t tell you how many times I was able to come up with the right answer but got points knocked off because I couldn’t show my work. Don’t know how I got there, or I couldn’t explain how I got there, but I did and that wasn’t good enough for the math teachers. Anywho. If you’re financially stable enough to willingly hand over full control and reliance over to a company, then go for it I guess. In the end though I don’t care how stressful this all was, I didn’t like having to rely on others and would have taken on more stress if I could have just done it all myself. I hated having to ask Alec a million times for help. I hated having to wait for someone else to have the time to help me; I wasn’t paying them, I couldn’t just say DO IT NOW!!

What could happen to precipitate this need for self-preservation, in addition to the hacking I talked about yesterday?

Simple. You installed a WP plugin that wasn’t compatible. Shit, I just did it yesterday when searching for automatic full backup plugins and the like. One of them made site visitors see some wonky ass code after they commented. A second one rendered my WP dashboard completely fucking useless. I had to go into the GoDaddy hosting control panel to the File Manager or their java-based on-site FTP client and remove the plugins manually. That meant going to wp-content folder, plugin folder, and deleting the whole folder of the plugin I just installed. Like magic, my dashboard/site were working fine again. If you don’t know how to do this, your site will sit there all sad and broken for awhile while you panic and stress and maybe even cry as you wring your hands and wait for help to come, and you don’t want that. But you also have to understand those files which you CANNOT just delete, otherwise, you’ll render your blog sad and broken all over again.


A Final Word on GoDaddy

You’ll notice, if you actually managed to read the whole post, that sometimes the GoDaddy tech support people I had to call weren’t giving me 100% perfect information/instructions. Every tech support person there knows their basic GoDaddyWorld facts; some know more personally about how WP blogs work and how databases work. Some are better able to explain techy stuff to a clueless moron such as I was, and some left me more confused. Some fixed one little part of the database restore problem but not all of it (bc GD doesn’t support our database health in transferring from another host and restoring, database programmers are paid big bucks to understand the coding of it). Even though GD could have saved us 3 days of stress & anxiety by giving us the correct help and answers……you’re going to encounter that anytime you have to call any tech support. This doesn’t negate the fact that I still will fully recommend GoDaddy for what they provide to you at the cost they provide it at.


So, please, if you’ve ever gone through backing up, moving blogs, fixing blogs, restoring databases, managing your files thru the hosting control panel and can give information that I got wrong or didn’t list, tell me about it in comments!

Some links to help you further:

How to export the database from PHPMyAdmin: http://codex.wordpress.org/Backing_Up_Your_Database

Some screencaps to illustrate further:


Feb 212010
 

Wondering where I’ve been? This post should give you a good idea. However, this post has nothing to do with sex. It’s pure blogging geek. Feel free to skip this is you’re not a  blogger. If you ARE a blogger? I suggest you read this, and if you’ve got your own contingency plans, share them in the comments.


One day you can be skipping along, tra la la, and all is right in your little bloggy corner of the intarwebz. The next it could all go kablooey and you’re surrounded by rubble goin “WTF just happened and where the hell is my blog?!?!” It can be your own doing, or it could be thanks to a nasty strain of crawler bots that I’ve seen making the rounds lately. I’m going to talk about both situations that I’ve been through this week because it might help someone else.

Part 1: The Sneak Attack Crawler Bots

In the last few weeks, I’ve seen “crawler bots” hit e[lust], Coy Pink, Panthera Pardus and Tied Up Events (as of this writing it’s still being fixed/moved). Each acted a little bit different but the result was the same – they got in through a sidedoor and either inserted a php file, a virus or changed php files. This resulted in redirects (visitor comes to your blog and then gets automatically sent elsewhere), trojan/phishing thingies laying in wait for visitors to arrive, an inoperable WP dashboard, or your hosting provider suspending your account because suspect that YOU are running a phishing site.

The only common thread between the aforementioned sites is that we’re all self-hosted WordPress blogs. Perhaps we all had a plug-in that had a security hole; I’m not really sure. Coy Pink’s wonderful hub Alec helped me get e[lust] back up and running a few days before their site got snagged. On e[lust], according to the log files, the crawler bot came in through my contact form (cformsII) which hadn’t been upgraded in a little while. We know it was a crawler bot because we could see the site who accessed it; visiting their website they claimed to be an SEO crawler, who harmlessly goes through your site and if you want a report on how ot better your SEO, you can email them. Ummmm, they’re doing it without permission. Website Grader does the same thing except you sign-up for it FIRST and give permission and it’s all above-board. The only way that e[lust] was easily saved was because my domain & hosting is through GoDaddy. GoDaddy automatically backs up my site files and keeps at least a few days worth. All we had to do was go into my hosting control panel there and do a restore/rollback to a few days before the crawler bot hit me and changed all my files. Yes, it changed all my files. How did I know? Because in the file manager at GoDaddy I can see the “file last modified” date and it was all the same.

On Monday, Diva was checking her stat counter for her sites and noticed some very odd activity. Namely, IP addresses all over the world were accessing (or trying to access) WP files, some of which didn’t even exist. Somewhere along the line they managed to install something and I think a phishing email was sent out – hence all the attempts from various IP’s. We think it was an email sent because most had no referring site, they just appeared, but one had a referral of an email program. It acted like a virus but yet even a “security scanner” plug in couldn’t detect it. Since she hadn’t checked Stat Counter in a week or two, it wasn’t caught in time. The damage was done. Shortly after it was noticed, their host (Midphase) decided to suspend their site/account while we were trying to get into the file manager control panel. After following Midphase’s instructions of what needed to be done before they’d unsuspend, directories/files that the crawler had created for phishing were deleted…..but it harmed the structure of the database. The WP dashboard was gone. Images were disappearing because database “links” were broken. The site is still there but just barely. Since Midphase charges you $30 to rollback to the night before’s file-snapshot, that did us no good. The day before was also corrupt……plus it was $30. The log files also only went back a day, so we couldn’t learn the origination of the attack. We couldn’t fix the current problem, but we could prevent it from ever happening again, so they’re in the middle of transferring the domain and hosting to Godaddy. Some people might not like Godaddy but I can tell you this: My blogs have never gone down because of server downtime, my ass was saved because of their automatic backing up and free rollback options, and I feel that their control panels are easier to navigate. Plus their hosting deal was less than half the cost of Midphase.



Tonight I am going to be working on e[lust], as we expect TiedUpEvents.com to be fully transferred over to GoDaddy sometime tomorrow. The moment it is, and I can access the file manager, I’ll be restoring their posts (thankfully only a few so we can do it the harder way) and designing them a new theme. This past week though my time was spent trying to fix up the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar site that I designed just a few weeks ago for Tess and Diva. We had found it necessary to transfer the domain and hosting from the name of the blogger who originally set it up over to Diva & Tess and therefore GoDaddy so that I was able to change the theme and design. We didn’t ask the right questions after the transfer was “complete” and as it turned out, we found on Monday while dealing with TUE that SBC had actually not truly transferred. When we were altering the theme, creating new posts, etc we were still accessing the old blog at the old host. I had 4 days of gut-wrenching stress and pins-and-needles while trying to untwist the messes of the funky database export and the lack of some very, very necessary files that would have gotten this all over and done with in half a day instead of 4 (also if all of Godaddy’s tech support people were as knowledgeable as the one who finally helped me get what I need and make it all work together, it wouldn’t have taken 4 days). I’ve learned to never rely fully on anyone now no matter what.  However in Part 2 I want to talk about this kind of a blog mess and how you can prevent it for yourself.


Feb 172010
 

(This post first appeared over at Edencafe.com)


First let me explain my take on the “typical” brain of feminine vs masculine. I do realize that just by saying that I’ve already ruffled some feathers. The saying “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” DOE S have its valid points.

I’m equally a logical and emotional person. It’s hell, lemme tell ya. I need to totally *understand* something, I need to know why. Why, why, why. I’m like a 2 year old. I cannot just do something “because”. If I at least know why I’m doing it and what comes next then I’m much better able to do my part. But I also act and react very emotionally, I’m very much an empath. Anyways, back to the logic. I have fibromyalgia which is a very misunderstood disease (but they do know that brain chemicals are either affected or a partial cause and I believe that the main chemicals affected are serotonin and dopamine) and I have a dopamine deficiency. ADD, ADHD, whatever label you want to put on it. When you run down the symptoms, I’m a textbook case. But I have other oddities that make me hard to diagnose. So in the course of trying to figure out what is wrong with me, I’ve done a lot of research. Learning what others like me are like. Forming my own theories that may or may not be a grand revelation to the science community at large.

Even if you don’t have a “mental disorder”, I believe that everyone’s brain hormones/chemicals are not all at perfectly balanced middle-of-the-road levels. Everyone has a skew, and that forms your personality. It’s when the skew is too severe that one is then diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ADD, etc. So my outlook is kinda like…..a horoscope. I am most compatible with other people that have a similar chemical skew/imbalance. If their dopamine is lower, I’ll get along with them. ( I hope this explanation makes sense to you all, lol).

They already know that biological men and women use their brains differently. But that’s what they can see and measure. What they haven’t been able to measure yet are the levels of the brain hormones. So I’m not saying here that my thoughts on the chemical differences pertain to *biological* male/female roles, obviously, but the self-identifying masculine/feminine roles. The typical feminine brain skews a little lower on serotonin. The typical masculine brain skews a little lower on dopamine. Disclaimer: I’m not saying that this is fact, I am saying that in all my logical thoughts, this has to be true. One big reasoning is that many of my little ADD-quirks/issues/problems….to some degree are all complaints that wives generally have about their husbands. Like I’m more likely to forget birthdays and anniversaries. I lose track of time. That whole domestic drive to  clean the house and run errands when you’d really rather sit on yer butt? Yeah I don’t have that and you’ll find me sitting on my ass till there’s no clean undies and we’re outta milk. When a female asks me if I notice anything different, I’m going to be staring blankly at her just like most men would.

I hope I didn’t lose you – this topic of brain chemistry and why I, without fail, get along the best with people with similar chemistry levels as my own is all seriously fascinating to me. Even if the knowledge doesn’t do me any good with treatment I still like understanding it all as best as possible.

Anyways. Contradictions, contrasts, puzzle pieces.

I’m the girl in full makeup who’s fixing your computer and babbling in geek-speak.

I’m the girl wearing perfume who’s hanging with the guys, playing MMORPG games and being just as competitive as them.

I’m the girl in the group of people who will admonish the man with a “Don’t be such a pig!” to his pervy comment all the while silently agreeing and staring at that chicks ass right along with him.

I’m the girl in sexy clothes and kitten heels who would be happily tagging along to a car show, admiring the details and work on big, loud muscle car or a sleek, expensive sports car.

In my mind I objectify women as I ogle them but I don’t let on outloud, for that’s not proper. I know it’s not right but it happens anyway. I’m terrible at being domestic even when it has to be done. I didn’t inherit the gene that makes my mind think “We’re having company! I better dust!” like my mother and her mother before her. I drive too fast, I swear too much and I don’t remember your birth date. I could spend just as much money at Sephora as I could at Newegg.com. I am competitive beyond compare and fuck you if you beat me.

And when I read about other bisexual or bi-curious women talking about how softly they would kiss a woman, how the sex would be sensual and spiritual and *cue sound of abrupt record-scratching to signify a halt* – I think “why??” I want to kiss and be kissed like I would kiss a man. Kissing men, kissing women, it’s not a different activity for me it’s kissing a person and I like it passionate. Not feathery kitten kisses. I want to have hot, sweaty, kinda-rough passionate sex with a woman just as I would with a man.

But yet I want to be swept off of my feet in romance. I want the grand gestures. I want the Dom type of guy sometimes, to a degree. I have my days of wanting to be pampered and beautiful and wanted and loved. You don’t have to hold the door for me unless my hands are full, but I’d appreciate it if you compliment how I look, even though I may blush and dip my head.

I am a contradiction in flesh and blood and sometimes I just don’t know which way to go.

Feb 142010
 

The bulk and details of my actual review are over at Edenfantasys, but since I can’t post photos there, I’m doing it here. This item is something that I did as a “buy-out” review, meaning I got a 30% discount so I paid for most of it. I’m super picky on what items I’ll actually buy simply because I know me….and I know I’m super picky. Nothing is worse than the feeling of “Oh wow, I just spent over $100 on something and I don’t like it” (hello, Eroscillator) but even us reviewers take risks. So you get two things here in this post that won’t be at my review on EF: lots of photos, and product comparison.


First I have to say this: I do not know why (Devine won’t give us details on the EF forums) but this is a Limited Edition case. The black one that I have sold out quickly at first and I feared it was sold out for good. I put an alert on the item and thankfully it was back in stock in less than a week. The black is now sold out again, and we’re not being told if that’s permanent. If you like this, and like it in black, put an alert on the item and jump on it.

This is my second Devine toy case to review, and my first one (the satchel) didn’t rate very high with me. It was essentially a bag with no pockets and a flimsy divider down the middle; I also took issue with their very cheap and easy-to-break padlock. Given the grand design of this case, I had really high hopes for improvement and in all but one area, there has been improvement. So let me get the bad out of the way before I show you the rest. The lock. It’s a very old-school luggage lock. The key is nothing but a prong shaped thing of cheap metal, and as you can see in the photo below it has bent already. Given the design of the lock though, that doesn’t matter, which tells me that the “key” is worthless. Anybody with something resembling this key can get into the case. Bobbypins, anyone? So it’s not a secure lock in the presence of adults. The lock just pushes in on a spring. Should that spring break it will never lock again but will hopefully still keep closed.

This case is a lot bigger than I anticipated. Which is both good and bad. The Hitachi easily lays down inside of it. You can over-fill the center portion because of the design of the lid. The divider is snug against the base of the case, because both are firm. The divider failed on the satchel because the base of the satchel was not solid. The divider can be removed, it’s velcroed in there. They give you a little mesh pouch there and an elastic band. There’s two mesh pouches inside the lid. Mine holds my flogger in one and the attachments for my Wahl and Eroscillator in the other.

This thing really can hold a lot of toys – I don’t have a high number of toys in here in these photos but that’s because I chose all big ones. There is, of course, a downside and that is once I had all this stuff in there? Holy fuck I could barely lift the case! Granted, I’m a weakling.

In the one photo I laid in there the entirety of the Black Label accessories kit for my Liberator Ramp & Wedge combo. In another here I’ve got an Impressions paddle and a 15ft hank of hemp rope. If you’d like to use this case to transport your play session bondage items, you could fit a LOT of rope and leather in here.

As for the other toys in there? Hitachi, Wahl, Eroscillator and Pure Wand on one side. A custom made dildo from Hans, the Nobessence Seduction dildo, the Jollie and a book.

So you can’t exactly talk about one sex toy case without comparing it to another. But yet, how can you when they’re so vastly different? For You Nymphomation cases are truly secure and locking, because they all use better quality padlocks. The bigger cases like the XL Toy Box that I own have removable pouches and little velcro-shut tabs. Your stuff doesn’t just lay in there in a heap. Of course the smaller cases by FYN they do just lay in there. The Devine cases are almost all decidedly very femme. FYN cases can be more gender-neutral. The FYN XL Toybox and ToyChest are not thick/tall, but this means they can fit under the bed. The Devine Playchest? It’s not going to be as easy to stow away, and it’s so pretty that it begs people to ask about it.

All in all, I’m happy I bought the Devine Playchest and I won’t always be using it for sex toys. I can see this coming with me on the train to NYC (but never would I take it on a plane and deal with TSA). If you think you’d like one, hurry!