Jan 232010
 

I’m pretty fond of my clit vibrators and I harbor a special fondness for my old red pocket rocket. It was the first clit vibe that I bought and shockingly it ended up being the best as far as power and vibration frequency. Since it’s only a cheapie pocket rocket though (I bought it for less than $10), I know it’ll die so I’ve been trying to find a replacement. While that need isn’t as dire anymore thanks to my beloved bullet vibes, I’m still interested in finding inexpensive sex toys. I keep my eye trained on this category of vibes at Edenfantasys and picked this one out recently. It’s a little bit pricier than I personally think a pocket rocket vibe should be but there are more expensive ones out there. At least this one has functions and is more justified in being over $20. I see plenty of single-setting pocket rockets that are over $25 and for as simple as these things usually are….that’s unwarranted. If I was able to find a kick-ass simple one for under $10 and a damn respectable one with bells and whistles for under $25….those other manufacturers need to take a closer look at things.

One thing I always hated about my old red one was that if it was “off”, it was in two pieces. There was no happy medium there. Most of the newer pocket rockets I’ve reviewed, even the simplest ones, beat that out but they never had the same oomph as my good old standby. I chose to review the Ultimate Massager by Nasstoys because they’re the maker of my old red one.

UM5

This one is a little more than just a pocket. Although it does still look like one and frankly there’s nothing in the mainstream market resembling these so it’s not exactly discreet. It’s small (5″ long and about 1″ around), so I can’t say that it would ever pass as a massager of ones neck or shoulders. Unlike most pocket rocket vibes, this one has 3 different power settings and 7 other functions. These vibrator manufacturers sure like their pulsing functions, don’t they? I’ve personally never really bothered with them. Give me straight vibration any day. But since this one does offer up variety, it will appeal to a wider range of people. When this is in the “off” position, the two halves are still firmly together. The vibration intensity is really decent, and the frequency is nice and low. It’s not *quite* as powerful as old red, but it’s close. Yes, for my clit, that fraction extra of power makes a difference. I would rate this higher than a few other PR’s that I’ve owned (the one from Babeland, their branded one, sucked ass and the plain white Doc Johnson one was nearly as worthless) and recommend it.

There is one seeming constant in the world of pocket rocket vibrators. Those stupid little plastic caps that they include. At least this one included a domed, smooth one which I actually kinda liked (surprisingly). But they all like to include ones with nubs. Spikes, even. Listen – hard plastic tiny spikes that vibrate do NOT belong near my clit. There is only one use for that, in my opinion, and that is in S/M play because it ranges from itchy/irritating to OW. Since there is no pouch included with this (or most any) pocket rocket, you’re likely going to lose those silly caps. One of my 4 has already become a cat toy. I think the spikes massage her gums when she noms on it.

UM1 UM2 UM4 UM3

I’d recommend this, unless you’re looking for a very inexpensive one or unless you have a clit o’ steel like mine. While I am not disappointed in it, it’s not yet going to replace my bullet vibe or my old red one. Keep in mind though, as usual, that this will indeed work for most women. And I do mean most, especially since it has three power levels.

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