Ask Lilly: Introducing a Couple to Sex Toys
I’d say about once a week I am asked by my readers to recommend sex toys. Men, women, couples…..specific queries or newbie general “I just want a sex toy” questions, I get them all.
And you know what? I genuinely like doing it. Unless of course the asker gets too personal and creepy – I’m basically your sales associate….not your sex surrogate. Overall though most are nice and respectful requests. I don’t just rattle off a few typical suggestions, though. I gather the data about the person/couple using the items and I go digging. I love doing this for people, because I like helping and sharing what I’ve learned, but it’s not a quick process so it’s really nice when they go buy the products I recommended via my affiliate links.
Today’s Ask Lilly segment is a recommendation list for a couple who have never used toys before.
She: doesn’t orgasm clitorally very well from fingers or tongue and (much like I used to be) tends to have her hubby go for g-spot play during sex. Is probably curious about vibrators for both area
He: is also looking for a toy to initiate himself with. What good is finding your prostate if you don’t have the right tools to make it happy?
They: are looking for items that can be used together, or for just her on her own. Willing to try a few things out in the first go and spend a little more for better products, but without buying only luxury items. They are trying to increase her pleasure level overall and get away from the frustration they both feel when she doesn’t orgasm.
Normally I recommend my beloved Pure Wand to everyone, but if you’ve never owned any toys, I think you should learn the new adventures of you + sex toys with something a little more forgiving than metal. I also find that the Pure Wand is more about solo play than him using it on her.
1. Lelo Ella – I never tried this one because I already loved my Pure Wand, plus I had already figured out that I need the shape of the Pure Wand to work with my arms & body. But Ella is rated very highly by many of my peers.
2. Lelo Mona – I recommended this as a G-spot vibe if they’d like to give vibrations a go. It’s not overly powerful like putting a Gee Whizzard hat on the Hitachi, and the vibrator will be a nice addition to play.
It’s hard to tell if her preference for g-spot play and inability to have a clit orgasm is because she needs a level of clit stim that fingers and tongues can’t provide, or she’s so overly-sensitive that their attempts are sensory-overload for her. Either way, I’m going for the lower-pitched vibrators because they’re more universally liked. Unless it’s known that she does indeed have a clit o’steel like me, I’m not going to recommend the powerhouse vibes like Hitachi or Climax Twist or Acuvibe.
1. Fun Factory Layaspot – This is in case she can’t handle the more powerful vibrations. It has the right pitch and many levels of vibration intensity. It can be intense enough, it’s gotten *me* off, but it’s a diffused sort of vibration, rather than the pinpoint that a bullet can be.
2. Doc Johnson Harmony Bullet – I think that this bullet has the right mixture of being nice to look at, fairly well made, and powerful at the right vibration pitch level. Also the Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet - same motor, same design, different price.
Prostate toys can be used solo or in couple play. Masturbation, blow jobs, even sex – having something in your butt pressing on your prostate will make your toes curl and your whole body sing.
1. Lelo Bob - it’s very simple and basic in it’s design. Non-threatening, good for beginners
2. Nexus Neo – really want to make a good go at prostate stimulation heaven? I’ll be properly reviewing this one soon, husband has been liking it! But it wasn’t his first, so the girth was good for him. Prostate toys with this weird blobby shape are on the right track – just like the vagina, the butt isn’t a straight canal. The Nexus Neo works with the natural contractions in anal muscles to massage the p-spot. It can be used for beginners to just enhance cock-centric orgasms, or by advanced players with time on their hands who can have p-spot only orgasms.