Oct 042009

Do you think that my chosen attire was an innocent happenstance? No, I saw myself in the changing room mirror when I bought it and later through the lens of the camera. It’s cut deep and it draws the eyes like a siren’s call.

Yeah, I know.

Do you think I’m oblivious to the fact that nearly every time I’m there, so are you? Or him? Or even him? Watching over me from your perch with jovial chatter, under the pretense that you need to make sure I’m doing it correctly. But that’s not the real reason.

No, I know better.

Do you think that I’m concentrating on counting or my form when I go silent for a few moments and look off slightly to your left, staring at nothing in the distance? I can see in my periphery that you’re watching me – not my form, no, your eyes and mind are elsewhere.

I pretend I don’t, but I do know.

You try to be professional, and do your job properly, helping others around me. But I see your gaze that you think you hide so well. I saw you watching me from that dimly lit room while working on someone else, as I laid on my stomach propped up by my elbows. Really now, the amount of cleavage that is bared from that position?

I know what you can see.

Did you think you were being sneaky? Waiting until dusk was fading to dark until you took those boxes to the dumpster and had him hold open the fire door that is right next to the pool? You knew that you’d see if he opened the door more to look for you, so on your way back you took your time and you stopped at the window that is 3 feet from me and looks over the pool. Did you think that it was so bright inside and so dark outside that I wouldn’t see you standing and watching? You forgot that your pants were light-colored and so….

I knew. And I played it for that brief minute.

And I enjoyed it when you two entered the room again, chatting over-eagerly with each other and including me in it. Too much laughter, a little too loud, trying too hard. To distract from the fact that your hands were in the pockets of your khakis, slyly trying to shift things around down there. It was too little too late. I’m not that oblivious, I’m not that dumb.

I knew.

Yes, I know. I know that you’re limited for now. I know what you’re staring at and when. I know now that the four of you vie for dibs on sitting with the pool patient under the pretense of “it’s a nice and relaxing rest” or so you told the other workers. One of them innocently spilled the beans, she didn’t know; she didn’t get it. You don’t do it with every pool patient; I’ve seen when others are there and you’re not in the room with them by pretense of help.

I know. And my knowledge is my power.

  • Of course you know. How could you not? All women are aware of the power they hold over us. The wonder to me is that you don’t ALL become spoiled power-mad queens who simply snap their fingers to make us do your bidding. :)

    — PB

    ~ not all, dear. it depends on our self-confidence level. it took me awhile to realize it. and i’ve totally missed it in the past.

  • Amy

    I love when guys think you don’t notice. Have fun with that girl!


  • Hey sexy. I left you a great reader award if you’re interested. xoxo

  • Marcus

    I have yet to see a picture of you that wasn’t stunning, but I just wanted to mention how beautiful the picture is that you linked to with the, “Lens of the camera,” reference. Not only are you gorgeous, but the technical aspects of the picture are wonderful as well.

    ~ Thank you :)

  • Happyguy

    What makes you so sure that this person didn’t want you to notice exactly what you’ve noticed? That they weren’t luxuriating in your reaction to theirs? Just wondering….

    ~ hmm. Probably because they (there’s more than one) need to remain professional. They’re not doctors, but they are still held to an ethics code and I’m sure there’s company policy not to do anything with patients. The chance for stupid lawsuits is too high these days, or I could complain and get them fired. I wouldn’t, but they don’t know that.

  • Con Template

    Guilty, as charged. But this is a confession without contrition. I love looking, whether it is a view obviously offered to me or if I happen to catch a peek inadvertently. But after reading your post, I will always have to wonder whether it is an offering or inadvertence.

    On the other hand, sometimes when a woman is virtually screaming, “look at me, look at me,” I will purposely deny myself that moment of pleasure and turn away, just to deny her the satisfaction of thinking she was able to attract my attention. That reaction is reserved for those teasers I perceive to really be saying, “look at what I got that you’ll never get . . .”

  • Nice! You are so gorgeous! Great story of power, of fearlessness, of knowing *exactly* how tempting you are. That knowledge….that is the essence of sexy.


    ~ Thanks :) Even better? Today he gave me a deep-tissue massage. For some reason I had to wait on HIM to do it, even though another guy did it before. I keep catching him and the one other therapist talking and laughing like younger guys do when they’re doing that locker-room-show-off talk crap, and while they do it they glance at me occasionally. hahaha

  • Happyguy

    You’re probably right. Then again, you never know. Some people pick up on body language and visual cues and just may be the type to take the chance. Of course, I may just be conjuring up a story in my mind for my own amusement :)