Anonymity and Facebook
More babbling and boring words, in my effort to just write about “whatever” and not strive to fit into the theme of the blog. Bear with me :P I might lose readers, but I don’t much care these days – you can expect that the rambling babbling real-life based posts will continue for a bit. At least I’m writing. That and I have some un-sex shit I need to get out.
I didn’t say anything at the time, but I had a scare a month ago or so with someone accessing my blog and the IP showed to be from my work. They didn’t stick around to read much and they came to my blog through someone else’s blog. Minor but still freaked me out.
Anyone who’s an anonymous blogger has had scares, I’m sure. Anonymous blogging isn’t easy, especially when the things we blog about would not go over well in our little corner of “the real world”. We must take care to not show too much in pictures. We must change details about ourselves and those we write about.
For example, in the first week of blogging I didn’t know that and gave “K” a different initial. His real one. I didn’t think a thing of it. While his paranoia might have been a bit much because it wasn’t like he had any online ties to me or something (other than perhaps browser history), it’s still a valid concern. So ever since “K” I’ve had to make up names/initials for anyone I’ve talked about that doesn’t match their real name, and also change little details. And it’s not always easy to keep track of what details I’ve changed about a person. Sometimes I’ll have to go back and read prior posts to remember what hair/eye color, location, age, marital status etc I’ve given them. Even for me, especially for me, I’ve changed details.
I really envy bloggers like Carrie Ann who is fully “out” on her blog. It would be much easier! Infidelity bloggers seem to be more susceptible to the “vanish in the night” phenomenon but I know of other sex bloggers who’ve had to shut down their blog because the wrong people found it. Some move their blog like Amy and Roxy and some others just vanish. So if you come here one day and find me gone……you know what happened and it will likely be work-related.
Facebook, and my stupidity, doesn’t make this anonymity business any easier. I have 3 main email accounts. The blog email, my personal gmail and my personal yahoo. Real life friends and family know the yahoo one. Last year when I created my “real life” Facebook account, I signed up using my personal gmail account because it was what I primarily used and I didn’t expect family members to hunt me down on there. Some blogger friends know this personal gmail account. Well, last year whencreated his blogger-identity facebook account he used the “add friends from address book” feature and added the real me. I quickly realized that that was a link between my two worlds and it had to go (sorry Jake!). Not too long after that, though, I dropped FB because I just didn’t use it. When I came back to FB I created my blogger-identity account, like so many other bloggers were doing. And then I ended up re-activating my real-life FB account. You know how Facebook likes to “recommend” people for you to friend? Well one day it recommended the real-life me to my blogger-identity account! As soon as I figured out how that happened (I’ve forwarded emails from one gmail account to the other so they’re linked, apparently) I changed the email address from my personal gmail to my yahoo. Apparently, Facebook never forgot my gmail account even though I erased all traces of it from there. It would still recommend blogger-me to real-me occasionally.
What I didn’t realize, until recently, is that not only was it doing that to ME but to other people. Recommending blogger-me to real-me friends and vice versa. A real-me friend did a friend request to blogger-me. I think my heart stopped for about 10 seconds, lol. Luckily, out of all my FB friends, she is the sole person that it doesn’t matter. I already knew we shared similar sexual views and we’d had conversations in the past. Plus she says she recognized my cleavage. I had to laugh at that one. So, ok, fine. Added her as a friend. I still didn’t think that anybody else would make the correlation like she did. Enter in another privacy-invading Facebook tactic. When said friend commented on one of my blogger-me photos, that activity showed up in the “highlights” section for anybody who was her friend. If they clicked on the link, it would take them to my photo album. Nevermind the fact that I had privacy settings out the wazoo. It would still let them see the photos but not my profile. I found this out through Hub who is friends with both me and her and knows about my blog (obviously). Since I had no way of making Facebook forget about the goddamn correlation, combined with it’s wacky ideas on privacy, that led to me deleting the blogger-me Facebook account. Just in case any of you wondered where I went on there :)