Sep 272009
 

Last week I told you about a Craigslist “missed connections” post I put up for the young man in my office that I originally wrote about here. In case you were too lazy to click that link, this is the picture that I included with the post. I figured office boy would recognize it as being me, if he saw the MC ad:

noname-19

Apparently, it was in good part due to this photo that I got around 50 replies in the 6 days I left the ad up.

Now when I asked for opinions last week, most seemed to think that I meant “would you pretend to be the intended target?” – that wasn’t it. Not a single one of these emails were from a guy trying to pretend to be “M”. Oh no, they either made it clear that they knew they were not the intended victim or they thought they weren’t but listed off their building name anyways just to be sure. And then there was a good handful of men that didn’t try to say “Hey if you don’t find him, maybe we can talk more” – all they wanted to tell me was that “M” or my husband was a very lucky man and that my cleavage was awesome. One delusional man wearing a hairpiece and obviously over 50 wrote me thinking that maybe possibly I was looking for him; even though my ad said that “M” is 10 years YOUNGER than me.  He listed out his building name and all sorts of stuff.

I’ll share a few of the messages from men I didn’t bother to respond back to with my interrogation, just for giggles. And yes, a couple of them I decided to email back at the end of the week and ask them why they replied. Half of those didn’t answer me.

“………I know this would be even a longer shot than yours, but if you’re interested in flirting a little, hit me up! I don’t know why I sent this message other than trying to add a little excitement to a boring life right now, and I figured what the hell!”

(This was probably one of the least offensive replies.However, I didn’t say I was “looking-but-not-looking”, I out and out  stated that I wanted to fuck “M”.)

“I would be very interested in a would like your self…..If you like E-mail me back and we will go from there…..”

(Uhhhh……what?)

“hey im not that guy but i think i can help you out with the hookups and flirts :-)”

(No, I’m sure you can’t. Next!)

“does it have to be the right guy to respond to your post you sound fun and if you are interested in the young guy thing im 25 in decent shape and love to please older women.”

(Yes you fucking idiot it DOES have to be the right guy!)

“This is as much a long shot as your post, but I thought i would give it a try. I am not your friend from work, but that was such a wonderful pic that I thought I would tell you how much I would like to see them in person! Nothing more! Perhaps in a see through top, or in a verry sexy bra?”

(Wait…..what? I’m really not even sure what he wants here.)

“I love your ad   so I am kevin taking a long shot if you don’t hook up with the guy   get back to me,  I will     wow nice tits  love bbws  I am  45 6ft 3  and would love to fuck you and have a good time”

(I replied back: “How do you know you’d love to fuck me? Maybe I have an ugly face and weigh 300 pounds!” He didn’t answer me on that one.)


“Well I can tell you one thing, I don’t recognize that cleavage from the xxx building xth floor. So that leaves only two guesses, now I’m down to a 50/50 shot.
I’m going with 343 Xxxxx because there are lots of beautiful women in that building. Now… maybe I should’ve come over there and scoped out the xth floor before sending this. Nah hopefully you will decide to respond and meet me in person. I like your playful nature, I think that we could have a lot of FUN together. While I’m not 10 years younger than you, I am one year older, attractive white male. Drop me a line, and we’ll take it from there. I’m about the most adventerous person you will meet!”

me: “No, I’m not in that building. But how do you know I’m beautiful just based on my cleavage?”

him: “There are a lot of beautiful women In the 343 xxxx building. You do have very nice smooth cleavage. And I’m a sucker for great breasts. Want to do a walk by at Xxxxxx Place”

me: “Well I just said though that I’m not in the 343 Xxxxx Building.”

him: “Nope. But you’d still likely enjoy. Home watching a sick kid today. Maybe I’ll post a video for you to enjoy this evening. Showing a bit of my adventurous side.” (gag)

me: “So what made you reply to a missed connections ad if you know you’re not the guy I’m looking for, and all you’ve seen is my cleavage….? I’m honestly just curious.”

him: “What are you going to do for a playmate since you’ll likely not find him??”

me: “That didn’t answer my question……”

him: “thought you might’ve been someone else. nevermind.”

(LOL wtf? That’s how he drops it? Oh that was funny)


The following are the replies I got back when I prodded and asked them why they responded to my ad, trying for a meeting or hook-up, when my ad was clearly meant for a certain person and not the general public.

“I tend to take weird chances in my life. Alot of times I dont know how to explain it, but I just do it. I am running a 60/40 rate on it working out. Thats normally pretty good. I saw your ad because I live in an apartment complex and go to them often for friends. I read the description and thought, hey she sounds like fun. Why not take a chance and see what happens. Does that make any sense?”

(Ok sure, it kind of makes sense. Maybe. But his ratio proclamation is what I call bullshit to.)

“Yea that’s ok well I replied because I thought u sounded real not like a bot and u sounded hot and I liked the pic and I just figures if u thought this younger guy was cute that I’d email u and see if u were attracted to me I’m a young guy to I’m cute well endowed and I’m very attracted to older and married woman and that’s the type I want for a fwb situation I know its a lo g shot but I figured if I was ur type and u didn’t have luck with M maybe we could hookup???”

(Ugh holy hell, I didn’t want to reply to this guy, but I took one for the team. His original message was even more gag-worthy. This is why he responded to my ad)

“First off I am not that guy…lol   However I am THE guy.  I would love to get to know you a bit more.  I am also married so we both know the value of discretion.  I am 6’4 37 and dashingly handsome…;)  Let me know if you might be interested.”

(Cocky motherfucker, lol. Sometimes I like that in a guy, sometimes I don’t. This time, I don’t. But I asked him why he responded and the following is his answer)

him: “I liked what you said in your post and I love meeting new people…  It seemed like a good idea to reach out to you.  Obviously I am not shy,  and I just wanted to see if you might be interested. I guess it was a good idea after all huh?”

(good idea? I only replied asking in a nice cheeky way why he responded since I was obviously only looking for M and not a random hookup. Nothing about my query email suggested that I was going to consider him.)

“No it’s not a long shot because there will be plenty of other men interested in you.  Im 36, 6’2, 210 lbs, muscular, and very interested in you!  You are married?  So what.  What is wrong with a little flirtation and fun on the side to keep life interesting??  I would like to flirt with you via email since we dont work in the same office.  I also wouldnt mind swapping some racy pics back and forth if you’d be into it?  Then possibly meet up for some hot, mind blowing sex?  You let me know.”

me: “Hmmmm….so you’re interested this much in a perfect stranger based just on a shot of cleavage and a few words?”

him: “Is there something so wrong with that?”

me: “Well not “wrong” per se, just not quite right. Heck for all you know I could weigh 350 pounds and have an ugly face, but my cleavage is at least great!”

him: “Well your right.  I dont know what you look like.  I hope thats not the case, but I guess thats up to you if you want to tell me.  As far as me doing that, I have never looked there before.  I figured with so many fakes on CL, that was the only place to look where most of the postings were real.  I have no problem meeting women, just seems like its so much work to weed thru the ones that want a long term thing vs a NSA thing.  At this point in my life, i am looking for the latter.  Just seems like this is the easiest way to find what im looking for. And by the way, you pic tells me a story about you.  Even though its just of your breasts, this is what i saw.  You were dressed very nice.  You also looked extremely clean/feminine.  Maybe some extra weight, but that doesnt make you unattractive.  What you said made you attractive.  Just my opinion.”

(I didn’t reply back to that, but come ON! Ok seriously, all you can see in the pic is cleavage and a little of my top. You can’t see my hair. You can’t see much else of the top or what else I’m wearing so how can he “tell” I’m dressed very nice? I don’t see anything about that pic either that says I’m “extremely clean/feminine”.)


Well I got a few answers but really they didn’t help me much. I outright asked one guy if he replied because I sounded slutty and/or desperate and he denied that. DID I sound slutty or desperate in my original ad??? Maybe a little slutty, lol. But still I find it hard to believe that so many guys replied in that manner, thinking that if I didn’t find M that I would consider them. Perhaps the cocky asshole men don’t read my blog and therefore couldn’t shed light in the comments section of the last post.

  • J-

    Oh well, at least they were right about the beautiful thing, although they couldn’t have known :)

  • Backseat Boohoo

    I love how people think they can judge a person’s beauty based on one attractive body part. Every time somebody sees my ass or something in an HNT and tells me I’m gorgeous, I want to be completely flattered, but some very small part of me says, “But they’ve never even seen your face!”

    Your life should be an adult sitcom, cause this shit makes me LOL every time!

  • Man

    I am not sure what was better, the original post, or all the replies!

    This one is my favorite ” just figures if u thought this younger guy was cute that I’d email u and see if u were attracted to me I’m a young guy to I’m cute well endowed”

    Not only is he cute, he is well endowed. (It’s like buying a car, he might come with zero percent interest.)

  • mrs. m

    i recently posted up some of my fun replies from CL. i am searching for something a bit different than you, but still get fantastic replies. i say that with as much sarcasm as i can muster.

  • http://www.loveHoney.co.uk Harriet Handley

    oh dear Lord, some people! It is a shame the guy you actually wanted didn’t find you. I’d of loved to have read what would have happened if he had seen it and responded!
    By the way, you’re cleavage is quite super. I promise thats not a come on!

  • kannon7

    How can a red blooded man not respond to that cleavage? Dang I need to start reading my local craig’s list.

  • http://www.joyofcontrol.com E.B. Addis

    OK, now I’ll take one for the team.

    First off, your CL posting is both flirtatious and well-written (no surprise to anyone here). Having looked through a good number of those, to me that communicates a good bit to start with – and imaginative women are hot! Secondly, as quite a connoisseur of cleavage, I will have to back up the guy who complimented you on tidy dressing, etc. Not only do your breasts look flawlessly smooth and caressable in that image, what we can see of your blouse appears perfectly chosen to complement them. Some of us do, indeed, notice those things. Admittedly, it’s not much to go on, but giving a lady the benefit of the doubt on the rest seems only sporting. So yes, I can see responding to that ad for the hell of it.

    Regarding the guys who you chose to contact responding a bit over-eagerly, don’t forget that 50:1 ratio you speak of. Responding to interesting sounding women on CL is an exercise in crafting prose for the void.

    Finally yes, your husband is clearly a lucky guy.

    -eb

  • http://sexcounts.tumblr.com Sexcou nts

    I’ve got to amend my comment on the previous entry for one reason. Even though the entire world of Craigslist and other internet hookups is a bit of a crap-shoot, and like the above commenter said, “how can a red blooded man not respond to that cleavage,” I wouldn’t have responded because I wouldn’t be in the “missed connections” trying to score someone else’s missed connection. If you were posting in “casual encounters” then I’d be all over it.

  • Slick Willy

    I think EB makes a great point. You also mention the fact that your marriage is open. That must have caught more than a few eyes, although mention of it seemed strangely lacking in the responses.

    Still don’t think I would have replied, though I might have spent a couple of minutes wishing I worked in your damned office!