Posted by Lilly | 16 Comments
Wicked, Wicked Girl
Listen up. I am sweet and sensitive, I am loving and loyal. When I care about someone, I will do just about anything for them to make them happy. Sometimes I go above and beyond – some see that as weak, some see it as amazing.
But cross me? Really offend me or go after me? I’ll cut a bitch.
I’m sure you recall Mr. Orgy, the Okcupid kid whom I tried to convince that he should show up for a “dogging” event I was setting up. I was truly going to keep going with the ruse to teach him a lesson. Until of course, he responded:
how do i know your not just ganna kill me….besides i dont got a car
*facepalm*
I twitched from the irritation caused by the poor spelling and grammar. And then I got a little pissed.
A female okcupid serial murderer? I doubt it. If you don’t have a car, then WTF were you thinking messaging a girl for sex who lives 96 miles from you?
Seriously? Not only did Rico Sauve think he could just hit me up for an orgy, but he thought the orgy would come to him?
im not really sure…lol…but it seemed like a good idea…idk…i guess its just been a while and idk what i was thinking….oh well guess ill have to miss out :(
Close your eyes, Lilly. Deep breaths, Lilly. He’s a moronic nothingness blip in the day.
……
Nope. Not gonna let it go. Not when his profile is what it is. (btw in his “Things I’m Good At” box, one bullet point was: “Diffinitally not speeling”)
Miss out? Awww. I was looking forward to an orgy with a total stranger, especially you, because I’m just a sucker for a man in a hat. It’s going to be huge, there’s already 10 guys that have confirmed. It’s going to be at the xxx Park in xxx. You need to come! Oh wait….you can’t because you’re a grown man without a car.
Listen. You’re hypocritical, and a loser. You’re 20. You should have a damn car. That’s the first thing.
The second thing is that if you’re going to look for a girlfriend or even just a hookup online, you need to learn better spelling and quit using textspeak. You are a high school graduate, there is just no damn excuse for your poor spelling and grammar. It is not a badge of pride. It makes you look unintelligent.
Third, your profile is all about how you’re nice and sweet and looking for the same but then you run across the likes of me and treat me like a whore. Just ask for an orgy with my friends right off the bat. Because yes you’re totally gonna get that living 100 miles away from me with no transportation and oh by the way I’m Not A Hooker! You just see a couple sexy photos in my profile, and that I’m in an open relationship, and oh angels from heaven I done found me a hoar!! Did you honestly think your opening line would get you anywhere? Would you walk up to a pretty girl in a bar and start off with that? You, boy, need to get some schoolin in readin writin an ‘rithmetic but also manners, respect and common decency.
Did you happen to notice that one of the things I am NOT looking for is casual sex? No, you didn’t, because I bet you didn’t even read. If you are trolling for sex, try adultfriendfinder. Try craigslist next if you find you have to end up paying for such fantasies.
Shockingly, he didn’t respond back. I truly expected to get in return the typical “Yeah well you’re a fat ugly pig and I wouldn’t fuck you anyways, so there” kind of response that I have indeed gotten when I’ve turned a guy down.
In other news. I’d like to end this on a positive note.
A short taste-test of a chat with someone I’ve just barely gotten to know resulted in this at the end of our conversation:
Him: In 10 words or less, describe a fantasy. Give me something to think about while I go camping this weekend
me: Hair pulling back arching bed slamming against the wall ROUGH.
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Posted by Lilly | 14 Comments
Opinionated
You know it has been a long while since a reader gave me a photo dare – J gave me one recently that is SUCH a dare I haven’t yet been able to complete it. Not for lack of trying though!
Step up to the plate. Speak your mind. It doesn’t even have to be a flashing-in-public or naughty-worktime photo. It could be an HNT photo. I’m not promising I can or will comply with every suggestion, mind you, but I want to hear from you.
Ask me questions.
Poke me.
Prod me.
(careful I might like it!)
Is there something you’d like me to write about, be it fact or fiction?
If you don’t feel bold enough to publicly request, then I encourage you to email me. dangerouslilly at gmail. Don’t be shy ;)
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Posted by Lilly | 27 Comments
HNT: Pure Sin
How do you see me….
As demure and discreet?
But do you know what I’ll do
Do you know what I’ll do
When I go out on the street?
Pure sin, pure sin
The kind you won’t mind
The kind there could be trouble in
(Carly Simon)
Read More
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Posted by Lilly | 16 Comments
A Pervert in the land of Fucktards
Hi, my name is Lilly, and I’m an accidental jail-bait ogler.
I’m sure I’ll get a (not) astonishing number of comments from the guys saying OMG! ME2! But I don’t care about you today. It’s expected of you. (shut up, it is too, thou doth protest too much) This is about ME.
So I’m sitting in the waiting area for physical therapy. I’m sitting, I’m zoning out a bit, jail-bait in question is standing there 3 feet to my left and facing me, talking to her mother. Look, all I saw in my periphery was perky tits in a tight tank top. So I slyly glanced over once or twice to discretely ogle. Then I looked up as she walked into the PT room – and I see that she’s 14. MAYBE 15. I felt dirty. Shamed.
No, no. Before you pat me on my head, it gets worse.
Over the weekend, I’m at my cousin’s house helping out with something. At some point in the day I’m inside, sprawled out on the couch in exhaustion and pain. Cousin’s daughter and daughter’s friends are on the living room floor playing a board game. The 16 year old friend is laying on her stomach, her ass (in the short little gym shorts; also a very nice ass in my defense) just about pointed in my direction, and her legs spread apart, kicking her feet around in the air. I recall being like that, unaware that I was a nubile hot teenager and wearing things just a bit too provocative. Also in my defense I was exhausted; but I stared at her ass a little too much. Like 15 seconds too much. And I shook my head all cartoon-like and blinked my eyes a few times and thought “Whoa. WTF?” and I ran away.
Listen, 14/15/16 year old girls were NOT this hot when I was that age. If they had been, I would have realized my bisexuality in high school. Not that I could have done a damn thing about it, given the state/county/town, but still.
I’m a dirty old pervert. That’s all there is to it.
I feel mostly fine ogling college-age girls. They’re legal, after all. I’ve been hit on on Okcupid numerous times by 19/20 year olds and even if they’re hot and lithe and likely flexible as hell, I just can’t do it, I can’t meet them or fuck them. I’d feel like a dirty old pervert. (not to mention wtf would we *talk* about??) But that doesn’t stop me from asking for a few naughty pics *grins* ……or 10.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of Okcupid. I recently decided to make my status “Available” again. I’m starting to think that the only good in doing so is fodder for ridicule. I’m also starting to think that I won’t fuck anyone (other than my partner) so long as I live in this state. So for the sake of my sex life, we need to move. Anyways. Moving along, I’ll share the ridicule fun with you. Please note that all spelling and grammatical errors are left for authenticity.
subject: eyes are burning (oh god, i thought, this should be good)
message 1: Wow Some one likes there boobs!!! Lol. My eyes are magical drawn to them in every picture. Scary. Lol. And I think I see 3 hands in one picture. My eyes are playing tricks on me lol.
Ken
reply 1: (I had to, you think I’d just let this one go??) Ok so I can’t really tell here if you’re insulting me or …. what….
message 2: No just being a goofball. I like ur pictures and think there quite sexy. Well ur quite sexy
reply 2: I see. Well, you might want to work on the delivery there a bit. My gut reaction was to slap you. But then I can’t slap my monitor.
(I’m evil sometimes.)
Ok so the next one I just didn’t bother to reply and bait, but clearly the boy didn’t read my profile to the end in which I state my loathing for text-abbreviations in email or chat.
subject: hi
message: hi how are u gr 8 tits :)
And then this one. The only thing more laughable is the guy – 20 year old “I’m the SHIT” poseur mixed with “I like cuddling and just want to find a nice sweet girl”. Honey, you’re white and that hat style was never truly fashionable. Also, I know I’m not the nice sweet girl you’re searching for in vain, but that doesn’t mean you get to treat me like a 2-bit whore.
subject: hey (they’re fucking original, aren’t they?)
message: are you on here for a hook up….sex….if so hit me up id love to have a orgy with you and some of your friends
reply: Actually I’m more into dogging. It’s a British thing. I put up an ad on craigslist or just reply to random local guys here with the info – me and my Dom give out the date, time and location. Guys are welcome to show up. Watch me sucking, getting fucked. If I like the looks then he’ll let me suck off the strangers. Sometimes even get fucked by them up against our car.
We’re doing the next one on Friday night at midnight. It’s at this park in {redacted for privacy, town nearby}, I’m just not sure yet the name of it or exactly where, but you should totally come!!
(at least I blurred out his face) (also want to mention that dipshit lives 96 miles from me. god it’d be hysterical if he thinks I’m serious and actually goes to said park!)
I’m a mean fucking cunt sometimes, aren’t I??? heheeee
(In case I somehow have a few idiots out there reading: No the dogging thing isn’t true, dork. I’ve fantasized about it with … someone…before, but never have truly taken it seriously)
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Posted by Lilly | 10 Comments
Balcony
Sunrise. Just barely.
And I can’t sleep any more.
No one else is awake. I don’t have much email to read. No new blog posts in my reader. Hmm.
Well, I can go read I guess. I check the weather and it’s slightly warm so I decide to just throw on my long terrycloth robe. Nothing underneath. Why bother? Being as quiet as I can be I grab the most readily available book and head out into the rest of the apartment. First things first, I make myself a cup of coffee. I take note of the book I picked up….Hm. One of my erotica books I’m reviewing. Ah well, that’ll pass some time as good as any! As I gather up my things to head out to my balcony, I pause and think. Do I? What the hell. I grab my bullet vibrator, just in case.
The view from our balcony is, well, not a view. It’s a corner unit so to my left it is open and I can see the other building that is 50 feet away. In front of me I see other buildings situated down a bit (we are up above on a slight hill) and the parking lots and driveway through the complex. But it’s early dawn on a weekend, and I can’t imagine many will be up. I set myself up to relax on the lounge chair and soon I am lost in my book.
I read one story and my robe slips off one shoulder, baring more than half of one breast, my nipple hardening to the air. At the next story I part my robe and slide one finger in between my lips, burying in the slit, testing the wetness gathering there. I am slowly drawing a tight circle around my clit when I hear a noise from the ground below. I quickly stop what I’m doing and look around, but I don’t hear it anymore and I don’t see anything. I assume that it’s an animal down in the overgrown bushes and tall grass. I ignore it.
I go back to reading but not before I part my robe and slide the bullet between my lips, nestling against my clit. As I turn it on I startle at how loud it seems in the quiet of the morning. But that doesn’t stop me. Soon I have both legs exposed; one bent up with my foot on the lounge chair, the other foot is resting on the floor. I read my book with one hand while the other hand presses the bullet against my clit, rubbing slightly.
As I finish the story I let the book rest open, pages down, on my tummy. I move my bent left leg down so that my foot is on the floor, mirroring the other leg. I am straddling the lounge chair, essentially. I use my left hand to spread myself open more, pulling back the hood of my clit as my right hand holds the bullet and rubs firm tight circles around my clit. I am concentrating on pulling this orgasm out.
And so, I don’t notice the rustling noise again.
And I don’t notice the head of dark brown hair. Or the eyes peering at me.
It’s all in my periphery and it’s just not registering on my radar. That is, until I start cresting the peak before the crash…..and by then it’s just too damn far gone for me to care. I lock eyes with my Peeping Tom as my cunt spasms and my heart races.
I let my legs spread wider, and my robe drop off my shoulder completely to fully expose one breast. His eyes sweep over me…. lingering, staring.
And then he’s gone.
All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com
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