Apr 072009
 

It seems that my dominant side is never the most prevalent. But when it does come out to play….I feel ruthless. Bitch extraordinaire. I have not had any experience dominating a woman be it in person or virtually, but I’ve already discussed (here and with others) my desire to do so.

I also must point out that I’ve never been much of a fan of the humiliation aspect of D/s, either receiving or doling out. Something more sinister, however, has popped up inside of me lately and I am finding myself aroused by the strangest things. A few weeks ago, at a meeting at work for our new unit assignments, the group was asked to do the school-classroom bullshit of “stand up and tell us about yourself”. Let it be known that I hate this. I am not comfortable speaking in front of people, even in such a casual setting. So I felt for this girl, I really did. She appears to be younger than me; pretty in a cute and “I’m trying to look cool” way. Perhaps someone I might be friends with. From my vantage point behind her and to her right, I was able to glance at her occasionally. When she stood up to speak each time, I noticed that she blushed furiously. She did not stammer, she did not show any other outward signs of feeling awkward. But I thought that the blushing was very cute. I think, partly, because at first glance her body language, style, etc was more “I’m cooler than you and this is all so lame” – but oh, what do we have here….vulnerability. Shyness.

I have read erotica- male narrator, shy and blushing female subject – of the similar nature. The man is dominating, domineering, pushy and delighting in her awkwardness. Aware that beneath the fear and nervousness lies arousal. I did not want to be in the shoes of the female, no, I think I more wanted to be the aggressor.

In my past fantasies of dominating a woman, I was never alone. It was a threesome. Perhaps a shared toy between a dominant and I. Perhaps a shared toy between a submissive man and I. But always, he was involved. I might have had the reigns of control but he was active in it. The fantasy has changed, morphed or perhaps I just have another one. He doesn’t participate. Instead, he watches passively. An audience. Another element to heighten her embarrassment and shyness.

I’ll be ruthless, while the one who trained me watches with pride. I will show her precious size 6 little ass no fucking mercy. As she is bent in half in a standing-hogtied sort of way, her cunt is bared to me like a split peach. I can easily go from inflicting pain on her ass to her cunt.

But no….that only satisfies part of my desire. I wanna make her squirm. Blush. Cry. I want to break her.

I don’t want a slut who’s at ease with her sexuality. I don’t want a whore who’s been around this block a time or two. I want a girl who cringes when sex words roll off her tongue. I want to make her say cunt and clit and suck and nipple and fuck and I want her to blush while she says this stuff. Tease her with these words and the pain (the bittersweet raw pain) and the begging until she’s crying.

She enjoys it though. Beneath the blushing and the cringing and the crying and the whimpering and the pink-red skin from my slapping and flogging she is dripping wet and aroused beyond belief. And that’s why I’ll love it, that’s what will fuel me to dig deeper. Before I break her, before she’ll full-on beg to come all over my hand, I’ll torture her. I’ll have to. Leave her at the edge of her orgasm…..make her watch me get fucked (and loving it) from my Dom. Taunt her with my orgasm. It’s going to be hard for her to watch, her instinct will be to turn her head but I won’t let her.

I want to watch the boiling point of her arousal and humiliation come to a head and erupt. At my command, at my hand. I want to break her…..and laugh at her misery. An evil giggle, a demeaning chuckle.

I’ve got a few things/issues/grievances/hurts of late that I need to take out on some poor girl. I just need to find a suitable one. Now accepting applications….

  • http://www.jsgotgame.blogspot.com Sage

    Please tell me I can watch!

    ~ Hmmm can you watch quietly? ;)

  • http://asecretfreak.blogspot.com angel

    Holy hell! While I may not be “a girl who cringes when sex words roll off my tongue”, I am thoroughly turned on my this post! jumping up and down, screaming ME, ME, pick me!

    ~ Ah but then dear girl how would I torture you with things that shame you and are difficult for you?

  • http://www.coypink.com Coy Pink

    *promptly jumps in line* Where do I sign up?

    ~ I’m afraid I couldn’t do this to you, love. I need a nobody, someone I don’t care about, otherwise I don’t think I could unleash properly…

  • http://piecesofjade.wordpress.com Jade

    Wow, I don’t often get aroused by reading sex blogs too much any more–I enjoy them for all kinds of reasons, but actual wet-between-the-legs, throbbing arousal? Not so much. This did it for me though. Maybe because, for all the brashness I exhibit in my own writing, for as much as I love sex and fucking and writing those words…saying them, even thinking them at times, turns me into that girl. Whew. Well done. Can’t wait to read all about the reality, when you find her. :-)

    Jade

    ~Wow, I’m flattered, thank you! :)

  • southergirl

    I read this a lot from women who muse on such topics…breaking the girl, wearing her down to the point of hunger / need.

    ~Thats….interesting…

  • Blueyeguy

    And the pics will be posted when? Nice fantasy btw – melikes!

    ~ Lol if it ever happens, we’ll see

  • http://tiwiwtw.wordpress.com rage

    Ohhhh, female dominance…sounds so sexy. I think you would make one hell of a Domme!

    ~ thanks for the confidence! :) I could only be a good Domme in certain circumstances, it’s not really my sexual nature, I’ve found. Not my base root, so to speak.

  • Cheating Wife

    Grrr.

    I wish I could be that girl, but sadly, I am a dominant personality in that scenario. Crap. Funny you would bring this up…Alpha and I have been discussing just such an arrangement….we’ll have to chat about this soon.

    ;-)

    CW

    ~ Yes, we will! Ok then, new scenario – you and me and a submissive girl ;)

  • http://longingsend.wordpress.com mina

    hmmm I happen to know such a Dom who likes to share his pet. *wink* Oh you do sound so sinister right now. I love it. Too bad I’m not entirely the shy little flower.

    ~ it IS such a shame you live far away, I could get in a little batting practice!

  • Pingback: The Best Sex Bloggers » The Week In Kink (WinK#29)

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164

  • Pingback: Radical Vixen » Blog Archive » Sugasm #164

  • Pingback: Sexuality Happens » Sugasm #164

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 « FemmeBLT with Extra Mayo

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 | Sex. Shoes.

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 « Because heroin is too expensive

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164

  • Pingback: Porn For Women, By Women » Blog Archive » Sugasm #164

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164: Slutty little girl. – Sugarbutch Chronicles

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 at The Perverted Negress

  • Pingback: Sugasm 164 « Elegant Smut

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 « Naughty Secretary – Tales of Debauchery

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 « Sex Secrets

  • Pingback: Sugasm # 164 | Hot and Sexy Pics

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 : Easily Aroused

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 | Unspeakable Axe

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 | Bondage-Radio

  • Pingback: Sugasm #164 at Diary of a Kinky Librarian

  • http://vanillamom.wordpress.com Nilla

    Just found this entry…hawt, hawt hawt! I could be that sub-woman (not a girl any longer, sigh!)
    Fair of skin, and I blush all the time. Only say “fuck” if I’m very, very angry (the viking awakens!) I can *write* cunt/cock/etc in my stories, but to say it aloud? Major blushies!!

    And can I say, your fantasy has made me…pant pant, hawt and drippy!
    Since I’m a lesbian/bisexual, my written fantasies have all been about men as it’s been a LONG time since I had sex with a man. Well, hell it’s been awhile since I had sex w/ my wife, too, lol!
    Anyway, hella job on this one!
    Nilla