Dec 282008

Microfantasy Monday……..”strap-ons”…

She’s a tiny little thing. Impossibly pure, smooth skin. B-cup tits with small pink nipples to cap them off. And I am her opposite…..where she is small, I am imposing. Taut skinny limbs to my lush plump expanse. Young perfection to my wizened curves that have been ridden hard.

And I have the power. It’s right between my legs. This big, imposing purple faux-cock that has her eyes wide as saucers and her breathing labored. I haven’t even impaled her yet…..I am just hovering above her. Waiting, watching. Testing that the restraints pulling her lithe legs up and apart are firmly in place.

I tease her with the tip. I shove a mere centimeter or three in her cunt lightning quick just to hear her squeak. She’s never taken a cock this big before, you see.

So yes, in so many ways, I have the power and I am nearly drunk with it.

And I plan to fuck her brains out.

Dec 262008

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #8? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #10? Submit it here before Sunday December 14th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

  • 1000th Comment Giveaway! Deadline: when the 1000th comment is posted.
  • Holiday Contest!! Deadline: December 24th.
  • A Holiday Bunny Giveaway! Deadline: Friday December 26th at 11:59pm PST.
  • Swag Contest: Win a Rabbit Habit or Pink Kink Kit! Deadline: December 27th, 8pm PST
  • Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Don Wands Candy Cane by Curvaceous Dee
  • Verdict: A gorgeous present to go in any bad girl’s stocking – or a good girl’s stocking, if you want to corrupt her in a most pleasant fashion.

    Note: I couldn’t pass up picking this particularly festive toy! There are some gorgeous pictures with this review as well (as usual for Dee).

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

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Dec 222008

I can only imagine the flurry of genuflecting, Hail Mary’s and whatnot goin on whenever a Catholic gets a load of the products from Divine Interventions.

*shakes head*

I just don’t know what to think. Except that I’m laughing. It’s brilliant. Fucked up, but brilliant for the most part.

However, as non-religious as I am…..I still think it’s wrong to shove the Baby Jesus up your ass. 67 kinds of wrong, in fact.



Now this one isn’t too awful. And you gotta admit that the colors, marbling etc is really pretty. Behold, “God’s Immaculate Rod


From the site:

Find the true meaning of comfort…
Find out what it means to be truly “touched” by God…
Find out what Mary felt, the night that she conceived…
Sitting in the lap of the Holy Ghost on God’s Immaculate Rod

There’s the Virgin Mary.


“2nd coming” heh….hehhehe….

Jackhammer Jesus! It could almost be an Easter decoration….


From the site:

Jesus was a carpenter
now he’s the powertool

He’s the baddest and the best
In all of Nazareth

The Jackhammer Jesus has just one safety rule:

feet first, feet first
not the head, ya fool

The Devil might be one I could consider owning. Ya know, being as how I am well acquainted with the Devil and all.


“Kegelize the Prince of Darkness into submission”  LOL

Appropriately, Buddha is the fattest of them all, at a whopping 2 1/4″ inches wide. If I could get over the fact that it has a face, I’d consider it…..since it’s difficult to find silicone dildos of this width.


“OM…. OM….. OM…IGOD!”

The Grim Reaper, “Le Petit Mort ain’t so petite anymore”


Well, at 7 3/4″ x 1 3/4″ he is certainly formidable.

From the site:

Try out our addictive little friend whom we call
“the little death”
(but better known to his friends as a large, black uncut cock)

In the spirit of DIY, the model comes with its own hatchet
But truth be told he be happy in da hood

Can you IMAGINE the confessional scene when a young Catholic lady does the whole “Forgive me Father for I have sinned……I shoved the Baby Jesus up my ass and did unspeakable things with the Devil”

To their credit these guys are very well made, done by hand and all silicone which is great. The marble coloring options really are beautiful. The names for some of the plain colors are awesome. “Asphyxiation Blue”, “Rag Red”, “Snow White”, and even a glow in the dark.

I suppose one bonus for those livin with the folks, you could claim that a few of them are just… statues, or somethin…Or make a Dildo Creche and keep it up year round.

thanks to Jesz for including the link in her recent comment about my glass dildo review, I’ve somehow never run into this site before!!

Dec 212008

We lay, presumably asleep, in the dark room. Side by side, intimately close, bare skin brushing bare skin as we turn and toss in slumber. We never bothered to dress for sleep. Too exhausted from hours of debauchery in this room to care about something as silly as clothing for sleep. The room is mostly quiet save for the low hum of the fan. I wake once again but this time my ears catch a sound. A wet sound. Remaining still so as to not disturb, I open my eyes and look for the source of the erotic sound. I then notice the faint sensation of her right arm moving slightly against my left arm.

She has pushed the sheet down her body. I can see her pale skin in the dark – and I see her hand on her pussy as she fingers her clit. She makes no sound but for jagged breathing. Immediately I am wet, my cunt tingly and throbbing with arousal. I turn my head to look at her face and I let my fingers move against her so that she will realize I am awake. Our sleepy eyes meet but she does not stop what she’s doing.

My mouth craves skin and I dip my head to her shoulder. A kiss. A gentle bite. More…My lips travel to her nipple. A kiss. A not-so gentle bite. My own fingers trail down to relieve the ache, dip into dripping wetness. Not enough……not enough. I quietly push the sheet away from me as I reach for the bottle of lube.  I squirt a large amount on to my palm and then unceremoniously smear it on her upper thigh. I straddle her thigh and start to firmly grind my pussy against her. She pauses only to change hands, and I grab her now-free right hand and bring her soaked fingers to my lips to clean her off. She pulls free from my mouth after a minute and trails her slick fingers down my breast, finally to my nipple – she grabs it. Pulls.

It is the low moan elicited from that action that causes him to stir from the other side of the bed.

Through a sleepy haze he watches. I yank the sheet off his body entirely and watch his cock quickly harden. My right hand still slippery from lube, I wrap it around his cock with a firm grip as I stroke. He lays propped up on his side to watch us.

Her left hand rubbing her pussy. Her right hand tugging my nipple. I am now grinding my clit so hard on her thigh that I briefly wonder if I am hurting her, but I don’t quite care. She is first to orgasm. As I grind against her, and watch her body jerk in spasms, I am entranced. In short order I feel my own rolling forth. I reserve some concentration for his cock, never wavering in my ministrations. He watches us and while he seems passive, I see his eyes close in pleasure for brief seconds. He let us have our moment with each other, but I am ever mindful of my place. For as much as she is my (our) toy to use for tonight, I am His to use and I don’t  forget that. Not in this moment, not ever.

As she and I come down from our orgasms, trying to catch our breath, I feel his cock expand and hear him groan. No, I never forgot myself, and had kept up a mostly steady rhythm. Faster now, to push him over the edge; both hands slickly sliding over his cock. He comes all over us both. Not much by this time around but enough.

He yanks me off of her and towards him, while she moves over to my old position in bed. He kisses me – at first rough and claiming, then tender and sleepy. He bites my bottom lip; there is an intimate pause between us before he whispers my instructions.

“Clean each other up and then get to sleep, dammit. It’s 4 a.m.; we have a long day ahead of us and I’m tired.”

I just smile to myself and say “Yes, Sir”.

Pleasurists #8

 Pleasurists  Comments Off on Pleasurists #8
Dec 212008


Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #7? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #9? Submit it here before Sunday December 14th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Continue reading »

Dec 202008


(this review/sex toy is seriously outdated. there are plenty of rechargeable vibes/wand massagers I’d recommend now over anything mentioned here)



I’ve heard a few other bloggers rave about the Acuvibe. This is another in the line of sextoys that wasn’t created to be used as a sex toy….. but rather a body massager. I have to wonder what their sales reports are like, Hitachi and Acuvibe….what percentage of their sales are from sex toy resellers, heh. The big selling point to the Acuvibe is that it is cordless and rechargeable. If you’re like me and live in a weird older apartment with ill placed electrical outlets, this is a great thing!! It also means its travel-friendly if you’re going to be using it somewhere that may not have an electrical outlet handy.

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